|Barked: Tue Jun 16, '09 4:21am PST |
|Rules in an American Pit Bull Terrier’s House
I AM THE KEEPER OF THIS HOUSE.
If you come crawling through a window instead of waiting to be invited through the front door you deserve what you will get. I DO NOT SUFFER FOOL’S.
I AM THE REAL AMERICAN PIT BULL TERRIER
I am LOVABLE, SILLY, LOYAL, KIND, CHARMING, FUNNY, CHEEKY, have TON’S OF PERSONALITY and CHARACTER and I am MODEST.
Contrary to nasty rumors (probably spread by some overachieving agility dog)
I am NOT STUBBORN, MOODY or HEADSTRONG, lies, all dirty lies.
I AM A SWEETHEART.
It is true I don’t like other dogs, but not because my relatives were fighting dogs.
THE TRUTH IS I was supposed to be Lassie and some stupid collie who couldn’t act, get the part, “eye roll” WHAT AN INSULT. Now I don’t like other dogs. I like humans EXCECPT CRIMINALS (to dangerous). POLITICIANS (who need to grandstand) and MEDIA (always want sensational headlines).
If humans are so smart, why do they believe my jaws lock? Or that I don’t feel pain? What Stupidity, good grief. I DO SO!
If I don’t get my treats on time every single day I FEEL UNBERABLE PAIN.
I walk in FAMOUS FOOTSTEPS. My relatives were owned by two presidents: a cousin sniffed out the biggest cocaine bust in history. (IN YOUR FACE, lassie): another cousin has more titles then any other dog in history: and MY UNCLE PETEY was part of the little rascals.
I AM A VERY GOOD DOG. I welcome visitors, but be warned that EVERYBODY SHOULD EXPECT A COMPLETE BODY SEARCH PERFORMED BY ME MY HOME, MY RULES. Everything here belongs to ME. I own all stuff, toys, balls, sticks bones, socks, remote controls, couches, beds, treats, shoes and humans are MINE. EVERYTHING IS MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE.
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