|Barked: Fri Aug 22, '08 4:34pm PST |
|Do you find yourself craving paper? Does a simple sniff turn into binge chewing? Do you find yourself under the couch with the latest phone bill clutched between your paws, desperately trying to get a bite or two before Mom hauls you out by the scruff?
If so, you may have a problem. You may be a Compulsive Paper Eater. But you are not alone. Paper Eaters Anonymous is here to help.
Our 6-paw program will help you learn to live with paper, and will help you keep paper from controlling your life:
1. We are not strong enough to do this alone, but that does not make us a Bad Dog.
2. We look to King Spivey for help and strength, such as when we pass by the coffee table, with all those luscious stacks at mouth level.
3. We must revisit our paper transgressions under the loving licks of some-puppy who has been there before.
4. We must make amends with our Hoomans, whose paper we have tasted. We must apologize for the torn hair and frazzled nerves.
5. We need to live by new rules, realizing that paper is NOT the answer.
6. As we achieve mastery over our paper compulsion, we must use our experience to help other pugs that may need us as part of the P.E.A snoutreach program.
1. Remember - Paper is simply processed wood pulp. Sticks are a simple, clean and organic substitute.
2. Help our hoomans Clean House – keeping the craved paper out of reach.
3. Remind yourself that you don’t need paper to have a good time.
4. Spend time with pugs that don’t eat paper.
5. In the unlikely event that we can’t help you, find work as a paper shredder.
6. Instead of grabbing the paper and running, ask “What Would King Spivey Do?”
1. We offer real-time P.E.A. meetings on the SP group page. All recovering paper eaters, or anypup with a desire to stop eating paper, is encouraged to attend. Past discussions have included “The Chemical Reality of Paper Production” and “Glue and You: What Holds All That Wood Crap Together Anyway?”
2. Carry the P.E.A. message of recovery to the paper eater who still suffers. Through the internet, the message of recovery can be brought to those unable to attend meetings any other way, and we can reach those who would not otherwise have made contact in any other way.
3. Support the continuation of the journey of awakening, of becoming a happy and whole dog.
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