One (Or Two) Liners

K9 Comedy Club >

There are Voices- in my Head

Barked: Thu Oct 19, '06 7:19am PST


	Hope you don't mind if I start a thread bein' as I'm new and all, but I had a cute joke and thought this would be a good place to post "One or Two Liners".. Hope you all join in too. So heres mine.. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One says to the other........................................................... Dam!

Queen- of Naughty-

Barked: Thu Oct 19, '06 11:28am PST


	Good one Zeb. What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

I'm the Napping- Queen!

Barked: Thu Oct 19, '06 5:47pm PST


	Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me! Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!

The best smile- is a shiba- smile!

Barked: Thu Oct 19, '06 5:48pm PST


	I have two for you all.... A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please" The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here" A mushroom walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please" The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here" The mushroom says "Why not I'm a Fungi!"

Queen- of Naughty-

Barked: Fri Oct 20, '06 9:58am PST


	If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless?

There are Voices- in my Head

Barked: Fri Oct 20, '06 3:00pm PST


	BMTO! Whew! Those are great! This is fun! Heres another.. A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"

Queen- of Naughty-

Barked: Fri Oct 20, '06 3:31pm PST


	More one liners for ya'll to gnaw on over the weekend: Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? How did a fool and his money get together? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? What's another word for thesaurus? Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? What do they use to ship styrofoam? Why is abbreviation such a long word? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Does fuzzy logic tickle? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

There are Voices- in my Head

Barked: Fri Oct 20, '06 6:41pm PST


	BOL.. My head is spinning! Those will keep me busy all weekend!

Drop- everything and- pet me!

Barked: Sun Nov 5, '06 5:04pm PST


	I have one! "I have CDO. It's like obcessive-compulsive disorder, only in alphabetical order as it should be." Edited by author Sun Nov 5, '06 5:05pm PST



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