 Barked: Wed Jul 8, '09 8:42am PST |
 | |  | | (sorry, I think I mispelled that!)
But anyway, I was bored so I thought I'd post some stuff...jokes, funny stories, intresting facts....misc. stuff!
THE TRUTH
At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and it makes it easy to blackmail them by saying :I know the whole truth", even if you don't know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. So when he gets home he says to his mother, "I know the whole truth". His mother hands him $20 and says "Just don't tell your father".
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and says " I know the whole truth". His father hands him $40 dollars and says,Please don't tell your Mother!!"
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, and sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops his mail bag, opens his arms and says" Then come give your Dad a big hug!"
TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP
1.I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't relize my radar detectar wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4.Hey, you must've been doin' anbout 125 mphh to keep up with me...Good Job!!
5.I thought you had to be in relitavely good physical condition to be a police officer.
5.You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
6.Gee, Officer, that's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning too!
8. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
9.I was trying to keep up with the traffic, Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are!
10. When the officer says, "Gee, your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with ," Gee Officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
BRAIN BASHER
After a local art theft, six suspects were being interviewed. Below is a summary of thier statements. Poloce know that exactly four of them told one lie each and all of the other statements are true. From this information, can you tell who commited the crime?
Alan says:
It wasn't Brian
It wasn't Dave
It wasn't Eddie
Charlie said:
It wasn't Brian
It wasn't Freddie
It wasn't Eddie
Eddie Said:
It wasn't Charlie
It wasn't Dave
It wasn't Freddie
Brian said:
It wasn't Alan
It wasn't Charlie
It wasn't Eddie
Dave said:
It wasn't Alan
It wasn't Freddie
It wasn't Charlie
Freddie said:
It wasn't Charlie
It wasn't Dave
It wasn't Alan
(I'll post the answer after everyone has tried)
DOUBLE BLONDE JOKE
A blonde woman is speeding down the road in her little red sports car and is pulled over by a woman police officer who is also a blonde.
The The cop asks the blonde lady for her driver's license. The driver digs through her purse and is getting more and more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asks. The blonde cop replies, "It's rectangular and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally finds a mirror in her purse and hans it over to the police woman.
"Here it is." she says. The blonde officer looks at the mirror then hands it back saying, "Ok, you can go. I didn't relize you were a cop."
There's some more stuff I wanted to post, but my hans hurt from typing and I'm running out of space, so I'll post the rest on Friday.Edited by author Wed Jul 8, '09 8:51am PST
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Caught a cold from my cousin's kids:p But I'll post some more stuff soon.
Dogster Obsessions: The Starter Kit for Dogs by Wildebeest
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