Miscillelanious "stuff"

  
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♥Mayb- elle♥

~~~It's all- about me!~~~
 
 
Barked: Wed Jul 8, '09 8:42am PST 
(sorry, I think I mispelled that!)


But anyway, I was bored so I thought I'd post some stuff...jokes, funny stories, intresting facts....misc. stuff!



THE TRUTH
At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and it makes it easy to blackmail them by saying :I know the whole truth", even if you don't know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. So when he gets home he says to his mother, "I know the whole truth". His mother hands him $20 and says "Just don't tell your father".
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and says " I know the whole truth". His father hands him $40 dollars and says,Please don't tell your Mother!!"
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, and sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops his mail bag, opens his arms and says" Then come give your Dad a big hug!"


TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP
1.I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't relize my radar detectar wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4.Hey, you must've been doin' anbout 125 mphh to keep up with me...Good Job!!
5.I thought you had to be in relitavely good physical condition to be a police officer.
5.You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
6.Gee, Officer, that's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning too!
8. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
9.I was trying to keep up with the traffic, Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are!
10. When the officer says, "Gee, your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with ," Gee Officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"


BRAIN BASHER
After a local art theft, six suspects were being interviewed. Below is a summary of thier statements. Poloce know that exactly four of them told one lie each and all of the other statements are true. From this information, can you tell who commited the crime?
Alan says:
It wasn't Brian
It wasn't Dave
It wasn't Eddie

Charlie said:
It wasn't Brian
It wasn't Freddie
It wasn't Eddie

Eddie Said:
It wasn't Charlie
It wasn't Dave
It wasn't Freddie

Brian said:
It wasn't Alan
It wasn't Charlie
It wasn't Eddie

Dave said:
It wasn't Alan
It wasn't Freddie
It wasn't Charlie

Freddie said:
It wasn't Charlie
It wasn't Dave
It wasn't Alan
(I'll post the answer after everyone has tried)

DOUBLE BLONDE JOKE
A blonde woman is speeding down the road in her little red sports car and is pulled over by a woman police officer who is also a blonde.
The The cop asks the blonde lady for her driver's license. The driver digs through her purse and is getting more and more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asks. The blonde cop replies, "It's rectangular and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally finds a mirror in her purse and hans it over to the police woman.
"Here it is." she says. The blonde officer looks at the mirror then hands it back saying, "Ok, you can go. I didn't relize you were a cop."



There's some more stuff I wanted to post, but my hans hurt from typing and I'm running out of space, so I'll post the rest on Friday.

Edited by author Wed Jul 8, '09 8:51am PST

Phoebe

lil' one
 
 
Barked: Wed Jul 8, '09 4:50pm PST 
big laughbig laughbig laughlaugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loudbig laughbig laughbig laughbig laugh
Maybelle! thank you for sharing the funny stories!!way to goway to goway to go
♥Mayb- elle♥

~~~It's all- about me!~~~
 
 
Barked: Sun Jul 12, '09 9:09am PST 
laugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loud
No problem! Sorry I haven't been here...I was sickfrown Caught a cold from my cousin's kids:p But I'll post some more stuff soon.

Glad you liked it!

♥Mayb- elle♥

~~~It's all- about me!~~~
 
 
Barked: Sun Jul 12, '09 9:43am PST 
(thanx for the rosette Pheobes!!)
By the way, the answer to the brain basher is: Charlie did it!!! I couldn't figure it out!!! laugh out loud


Ok, here's some more "stuff" I wanted to postsmile



DEFINETLY GONNA BE A BEAR
In this life, I'm a woman. In my next life I'd like to come back as a bear. When your a bear you get to hibernate and do nothing but sleep for 6 months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could definetly deal with that.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children(who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially gorwn, cuddly cubs. I could deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone kows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He also EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

YUP, DEFINETLY GONNA BE A BEAR!!!


SOME INTRESTING FACTS:
a dime 118 ridges around the edge
a cat has 32 muscles in each ear
a crocodile cannot stick out it's tounge
a dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours
a goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds
a shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes
a snail can sleep for 3 years
babies are born without kneecaps
cats have over 100 vocal sounds...dogs only have 10
"dreamt" is the only english word that ends in "mt"
february 1865 is the only month recorded in history not to hvae a full moon
on average, people spend 6 months waiting for red lights
leonardo da vinci invented scissors
no word in the english language rhymes with the words orange, month, silver or purple
peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite
rubber bands last longer when they are refrigerated
the average person's left hand does 56% of the typing
the cruise liner, QE2, moves only 6 inches for every gallon of deisel it burns
the winter of 1932 was so cold that all of Niagra Falls froze completely solid
Winston Churchill was born in a ladie's room during a dance
Phoebe

lil' one
 
 
Barked: Sun Jul 12, '09 10:04am PST 
amazing!way to go
♥Mayb- elle♥

~~~It's all- about me!~~~
 
 
Barked: Sun Jul 12, '09 2:29pm PST 
smileYa...some of those things were pretty cool....
Phoebe

lil' one
 
 
Barked: Mon Jul 13, '09 4:27am PST 
Hope yer all better!!
♥Mayb- elle♥

~~~It's all- about me!~~~
 
 
Barked: Mon Jul 13, '09 12:18pm PST 
Yup, pretty good now, Thanx!
Lady now an- angel

Sweetness
 
 
Barked: Tue Jul 14, '09 4:36am PST 
glad yer better..summer colds can be awful
♥Mayb- elle♥

~~~It's all- about me!~~~
 
 
Barked: Wed Jul 15, '09 8:02am PST 
Yeah...but I'm glad I'm ok now too!wink

laugh out loud
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