Holy Humor

  
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♥- Dayzee- ♥

I got THE- power!! Jesus.
 
 
Barked: Tue Feb 3, '09 7:11am PST 
I thought it would be fun to add a Holy Humor thread where we can all post some funny and good clean jokes or stories.
So lets have fun.dancing
♥- Dayzee- ♥

I got THE- power!! Jesus.
 
 
Barked: Tue Feb 3, '09 7:15am PST 
A member of his congregation told Rev. Warren J. Keating, pastor of First Presbyterian Church, Yuma, Az, that this was the best prayer he ever heard:
"Dear God, please help me to be the person my dog thinks I am." way to go
Yuppee

I love to run..
 
 
Barked: Tue Feb 3, '09 7:41am PST 
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

Victor Hugo

♥- Dayzee- ♥

I got THE- power!! Jesus.
 
 
Barked: Wed Feb 4, '09 7:53am PST 
On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said, " Well, I guess we won't have a service today.
The farmer replied: 'Heck,if even only one cow shows up at feeding time , I feed it."
The pastor obliged and did the entire service. As the farmer was leaving, the pastor shook his hand and said, " How did I do?"
"It was ok," the farmer replied. "But if only one cow shows up at feeding time, I don't drop the full load on it." big laugh
Angel Little- Foot

What The Heck- Are Furby & Sam- Doing Now?
 
 
Barked: Wed Feb 4, '09 10:52pm PST 
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." big laughbig laughbig laugh
Furby

I Am The King!
 
 
Barked: Wed Feb 4, '09 11:10pm PST 
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?" The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay, said his father. "So, son, what does the Bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy. It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'
♥- Dayzee- ♥

I got THE- power!! Jesus.
 
 
Barked: Thu Feb 5, '09 3:49am PST 
Oooo, this thread is going be fun.
Thanks for your funny Holy Humor stories. way to go
♥- Dayzee- ♥

I got THE- power!! Jesus.
 
 
Barked: Mon Feb 9, '09 2:23pm PST 
Helping his wife wash the dishes, a mimister protested, " This isn't a man's job." Oh yes it is," his wife retorted, quoting 2 Kings 21: 13: " I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down."

Edited by author Mon Feb 9, '09 2:24pm PST

Yuppee

I love to run..
 
 
Barked: Tue Feb 10, '09 3:22pm PST 
PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery.. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'
The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'
The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been telling' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord.'
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.'
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike!
big laugh big grin
Suzy- ♥- Dreyfus

Gramma Suzy
 
 
Barked: Thu Feb 12, '09 10:06am PST 
A preacher finished the service one morning by saying, "Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject of liars. As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark 17."

On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the congregation he said, "Last week I asked you all to read Mark 17. If you have read the chapter, please raise your hand."

Nearly every hand in the congregation went up. Smiling, the preacher said, "You are the very people I want to talk to. Mark has only 16 chapters.


laugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loud
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