Let's Laugh Together!

  
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♥Toto ♥

Toto & Cinnamon=- love <3
 
 
Barked: Sun Mar 23, '08 11:44am PST 
I made the thread so we can all chill out a little here and laugh. I always like to laughlaugh out loud
If you know a joke, if you have a funny picture or anything else that's funny, post here so you can make us laugh and feel better.
♥Toto ♥

Toto & Cinnamon=- love <3
 
 
Barked: Sun Mar 23, '08 11:45am PST 
Dog Pet Peeves About Humans

1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking...I'M A DOG YOU SILLY!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose ... stop it.
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? The tail?
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
12. When you pick up the cr@p piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on messing with us? To my knowledge, Dogdom hasn't yet solved the visible fence problem!!
Josie

Josie loves- Tyler!
 
 
Barked: Sun Mar 23, '08 9:46pm PST 
BOL! big laughbig laughlaugh out loudlaugh out loudbig laughbig laugh

I'll keep my eyes out for some jokes.

♥Toto ♥

Toto & Cinnamon=- love <3
 
 
Barked: Tue Mar 25, '08 12:33pm PST 
Help Wanted
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."
♥Toto ♥

Toto & Cinnamon=- love <3
 
 
Barked: Tue Mar 25, '08 12:36pm PST 
I knoiw it's long but you should read it

A butcher in his shop, and he's real busy, and he notices a dog in the shop. He shoos him away. But later, he notices the dog is back again. So he goes over to the dog, and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note, and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well." The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten pound note there. So he takes the money, and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is well impressed, and since it's close to closing time, he decides to shut up shop and follow the dog. So off he goes.

The dog is walking down the street, when he comes to a level crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and then sits on one of the seats provided. Along comes a bus. The dog walks around the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus.

The bus travels through the town and out into the suburbs, the dog looking at the scenery. Eventually he gets up, and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on 2 back paws and pushes the button to stop the bus. Then he gets off, his groceries still in his mouth.

Well, dog and butcher are walking along the road, and then the dog turns into a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He goes back down the path, runs up to the door and -Whap!- throws himself against it again. There's no answer at the house, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to the window, and beats his head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the dog. Yelling and swearing at him. The butcher runs up, and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing? That dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for heaven's sake!", to which the guy responds,

"Clever, my foot! This is the second time this week that he's forgotten his key."
Sammie- Poochon

Life is Fun! - Let\\\'s play!
 
 
Barked: Tue Mar 25, '08 6:03pm PST 
How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb? thinking

- Afghan: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?

- Australian Sheperd: Put all the bulbs in a little circle...

- Beagle: Lightbulb? Lightbulb? That thing I ate was a lightbulb?

- Border Collie: Just one? I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

- Chihuahua: We don't need no sticking lightbulb!

- Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on th carpet in the dark.

- Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!

- Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

- German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

- Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

- Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out lightbulb?

- Hound dog: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

- Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.

- Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls.

Labrador: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the lightbulb!!!! Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

- Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

- Malamute: Let the border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

- Old English Sheep Dog: Lightbulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a lightbulb.

- Pointer: I see it! There it is! Right there!

- Rottweiller: Go ahead! Make me!

- Shih Tzu: Puh-leeezz, dahling. I haver servants for that kind of thing.

- Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

What would you say? big grin
Norton

Leader of the- Pack
 
 
Barked: Wed Mar 26, '08 4:54am PST 
BOL BOL BOLbig laughbig laughbig laughbig laughbig laugh
♥Toto ♥

Toto & Cinnamon=- love <3
 
 
Barked: Wed Mar 26, '08 1:15pm PST 
BOL!big laughbig laughbig laughbig laugh
Maybe I'll say what the shih tzu saiedlaugh out loud
BOL big laughbig laughbig laughbig laugh
Angel

Spreading love- and joy with my- tail
 
 
Barked: Wed Mar 26, '08 5:39pm PST 
I'm a malti-poo and I'd like to know why on earth a dog would want to change a lightbulb BOL
I mean, I can see just fine in the dark (and I luff to play in the dark!)
The Schnoodles

We Rock!
 
 
Barked: Thu Mar 27, '08 10:48am PST 
big laughbig laughbig laugh
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