 Barked: Tue Apr 24, '12 7:08am PST |
 | |  | | i'm really missin you these past couple days droopy.. i miss you everyday, but these past few days have felt like the day right after i had to say goodbye to you.. well...i never did say goodbye, did i?? i couldn't bear to say those words..just like i have never yet said that other word.. i always say, the day you passed, the day you left.. i can't say it.. and how do i say goodbye?? that seems so final...i think i'm losing it somedays because i keep thinking somehow you are gonna come back.. i'm going to come home from work & you'll be there.. i know you are here.. but i want you here like before.. i know in my heart it won't happen.. but you know how mommie is, don't you, my beautiful brown eyed girl.. i get so angry at myself sometimes because i'll be talkin to you & i tell you, you WEREN'T SUPOSSED TO LEAVE ME!!
why did you leave me!! and then i feel so horrible inside for yellin that you.. i know if you would of had the choice, you would of never left me..
so i'm sorry for being angry, droopy.. i hope you forgive me.. i just have so much pain inside me..somebody said to me just yesterday, i was talkin bout you & sayin how much i missed you & they were like, well its been months now , you still cry!!?? i was so mad.. like i'm supossed to just snap my fingers & say o.k. its been so many months, i better just get over it & move on.. my pain will never leave me & i will never "get over it" and those people that feel i should, don't understand & have never felt the true love & true friendship of a pet..of a furry, four-legged child.. thats what you were to me droopy and always will be, my child.. a big part of me went with you..
and i'm left with this emptiness inside that has only been filled with pain..
so much pain that sometimes i can't breathe..i so appreciate that i can come here to talk about you & everyone understands.. they know this pain all to well, and my heart goes out to each of them.. for its a horrible pain.. to lose your best friend is the worst feeling ever.. and when it happens out of nowhere, no warning, no signs, nothing..just BOOM!! it really sucks & really rips your world apart.. well droopy, my sweet beautiful scootercrunch, i want you to know I LOVE YOU!! and i just want to say i'm sorry for gettin angry & yellin ... you go run & play now with all your many friends.. 
you live inside my heart & soul, you will forever be more than a part of me, your kindness, warnth & love made me who i am today, droopy.. so therefore, we are bonded together, as one, forever..mommie misses you & loves you deeply, droopy!!  |  |  | |  |
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6
I got through those. By then I had lost some weight but still looked very healthy and ate OK.
Then a few days later I started vomiting again and dad took me in and they gave me IVs for 5 days. I came home and a couple weeks later I was back again for IVs...and the CRF diagnosis mom feared.
My Mom can relate to what You said cause I was sick for a while too with the not eating, the weight loss, and all those problems. I too spent a lot of time at the vet and the emergency vet and nobody could figure out what was wrong with Me. Finally after another trip to the emergency vet She didn't know what was wrong with Me either but She asked why They weren't doing certain tests and did We know I might have a Heart Murmur. Well that was it. In the morning My Mom and Her daughter decided to try to get Me into a Feline only vet and They weren't taking new patients but one of their doctors had left and opened Her own practice. It was 30 minutes away but They took Me Their that same day. Right away that vet took all these tests and gave Me an ultrasound and found out I had Poly cystic Kidney Disease. She started Me on medicine cause She found I also had high blood pressure and taught Them how to give Me IV fluids every 3 days. Well thanks to Her great treatment of Me I lived for 2 more years. Mom always tells people with sick cats to go to a cat only doctor because They specialize in cat diseases. Sorry for the long story but You see We understand what You went through. My Mom still has a hard time about losing Me but this group helps cause You can vent Your frustrations cause We have all been there. It takes a long time to get past it all, My Mom still has trouble and I've been gone 5 years. You are not alone come here anytime to vent and We will listen.