|Barked: Tue Apr 24, '12 7:08am PST |
|i'm really missin you these past couple days droopy.. i miss you everyday, but these past few days have felt like the day right after i had to say goodbye to you.. well...i never did say goodbye, did i?? i couldn't bear to say those words..just like i have never yet said that other word.. i always say, the day you passed, the day you left.. i can't say it.. and how do i say goodbye?? that seems so final...i think i'm losing it somedays because i keep thinking somehow you are gonna come back.. i'm going to come home from work & you'll be there.. i know you are here.. but i want you here like before.. i know in my heart it won't happen.. but you know how mommie is, don't you, my beautiful brown eyed girl.. i get so angry at myself sometimes because i'll be talkin to you & i tell you, you WEREN'T SUPOSSED TO LEAVE ME!!
why did you leave me!! and then i feel so horrible inside for yellin that you.. i know if you would of had the choice, you would of never left me..
so i'm sorry for being angry, droopy.. i hope you forgive me.. i just have so much pain inside me..somebody said to me just yesterday, i was talkin bout you & sayin how much i missed you & they were like, well its been months now , you still cry!!?? i was so mad.. like i'm supossed to just snap my fingers & say o.k. its been so many months, i better just get over it & move on.. my pain will never leave me & i will never "get over it" and those people that feel i should, don't understand & have never felt the true love & true friendship of a pet..of a furry, four-legged child.. thats what you were to me droopy and always will be, my child.. a big part of me went with you..
and i'm left with this emptiness inside that has only been filled with pain..
so much pain that sometimes i can't breathe..i so appreciate that i can come here to talk about you & everyone understands.. they know this pain all to well, and my heart goes out to each of them.. for its a horrible pain.. to lose your best friend is the worst feeling ever.. and when it happens out of nowhere, no warning, no signs, nothing..just BOOM!! it really sucks & really rips your world apart.. well droopy, my sweet beautiful scootercrunch, i want you to know I LOVE YOU!! and i just want to say i'm sorry for gettin angry & yellin ... you go run & play now with all your many friends..
you live inside my heart & soul, you will forever be more than a part of me, your kindness, warnth & love made me who i am today, droopy.. so therefore, we are bonded together, as one, forever..mommie misses you & loves you deeply, droopy!!
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