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Oh Sadie, (and other pups) I just read your post. I know how you are feeling. I had to smile when you said you spelled out words. We always spelled out "W A L K" for Nakai.. but he learned to spell!! He soon knew what that meant also.
I know that we all have the same hurt feelings about our pups. We are so thankful that we found RBAB and so many friends.
Nakai's Mom I think we would all like to go back for one more hug, one more kiss, one more look. We can't do that, but I can tell you that my Mom understands
to Sadie Mae's mom I wish my mom & I knew what to say to make it all better ~
o goodness, mom just noticed Nakai's mom is typing at this same time. So we're sending more hugs (at end)~
She is having 'issues' with that new Rick pup! He's a shelter pup and it's now evident that whatever person originally had him may have separated the pups from momma dog too soon, because my pawrents are having to work on 'NO bite!' Well, I did my share of puppy-mouthing & chewing stuff, but my pawrents do not remember anything serious {'course I was a pup in 1992 mom & dad are older now}
My mom says she has to remind herself a zillion times a day, to praise Rick's good behavior and to walk away & ignore him if he tries biting. A couple of times, she's said 'what have I gotten into, I'm a bad mom!'
Mom says it helps her to talk 'to' me, like "Sam, please help me have patience with Rick!" Mom talks to herself & me alot for Nakai's mom Mom can guess, the pup who said don't look back at the closed door that you fail to notice the open door--she is a very wise pup!
for all the moms!
Where can i start..to help my friends...only to tell you that ..i don't think our memroies are the same as our pawrents... I know i only remember all the good times and how happy i was to have a safe and loving home.. you can't change anything that has happen...you can only know that our Angels only loved you no matter ..how they looked if we scolded them and we have all fuzzed at our pups...but they didn't care ...cause in a minute it was over and they were following us ...and i think it is the hardest thing to watch a pup grow in to a dog then into a senior pup again...know in our heart we will soon lose them...they struggle and try to remain the good dogs they have been ...but they just cant...acciedents happen ,,but still in our minds they are not old and so we say what we say to the pup...outside with that... it just the way of things..and its is hard to look at a new pup and say Daisy would have never done that...but i know i will never have another Daisy..so yes walk thru that door and meet your pup cause it not the one you have lost ,,but it the one that loves you now...I have 2 that love me now..they aren't Carrie or Daisy...but they love me just as much....and i them...cause if you didn't have them...would you not be lost...
I think that what everyone is feeling here is valid and normal as we grieve. Losing your "child" seems so unnatural. We have a difficult time with holidays or personally meaningful days (like birthdays, anniversaries). We feel really badly when we think back on things we said or did that we wish we wouldn't have done. Or we question decisions that we made or didn't make. I don't think it's living in the past or not wanting to go forward. It's grieving. We all deserve our time to grieve in whatever way that helps us through it. When we get stuck in a place with it that is not healthy, we ask for help. We have to be open to others that are close to us. And when we find others who are experiencing similar feelings, we feel close to them and want to share.
There will never be another Annie whose mind I could read. One look from her and I knew what she wanted. I have another special bond with Georgie who I almost lost a few weeks back. And I have 2 new dogs that try my patience some days but are the sweetest souls in spite of the anxieties they bring from their past and their very different personalities. We all work with the information we have at the moment. We do the best we can every moment. In the past & in the present. It's ok to relive that pain temporarily, but we have to do our best in the present too to take care of the those who are in the present with us, including ourselves. We can love the past, mourn the past but also live life fully in the present. We are complex creatures and the simplicity of a child or pet's love leaves us wanting more. Oh how I know that!
I have just gone through some milestones this past week with wonderful support from some very dear, thoughtful and kind people in this group. I'm glad you're all here bearing your hearts rather than keeping it all inside. We can help each other through this.
ohhh I'm in for another group hugmom here ....Kadie was so special to me she was there for me when there was no one else around...she shared with me lonely winters in a old farm house the first three years we were together there was not much heat and we snuggled a lot....I miss those days the most....she was so soft and cuddle able...and the hair don't get me started...lol.....
I don't remember if I ever shared the story of how Kadie saved my life....My Brother had broke down in Montana and called me to come get him at 8 PM....I was driving from twin falls Idaho to a little town in Montana ...at about 11pm we were 25 miles north of a small town called Challis and 30 miles south of the next town called Salmon...we were driving along the Salmon river going north and it was winter the temp outside was well below freezing and my water pump went out on me....there was no way my car would travel any more and I could not keep it running for heat cause my water pump was out and there was no heat. well silly me go flying off in the middle of the night with no coat or any thing...thank god my sister in law had left a sleeping bag in my trunk...but it was very old and had no filler left so basically it was just that parachute material...but its all I had....it was so cold and there was no one around no cars passing or anything...all I heard was the river ...and snow covered mountains all around me.....Kadie was there and we snuggled up in the back seat with the old sleeping bag ....we shared our warmth that night we were both so very cold...I don't think I have ever been that cold before....we were found by a patrol car the next morning ...it took forever to warm up....I really don't think I would have survived that night with out my Angel baby....
I waited a couple of years after Kadie went to the bridge before I got Sadie....and They are night and day different...Kadie a yellow lab and Sadie a little 10 LB Ratterrorist....about a week after I got Sadie I cyber friend told me about Dogster and I was hooked.....the first day I was here I was invited to a group called Ratties and Labs...wow I didn't even have a page for Kadie at that time....but I was so thrilled to have been invited to a group....I went there and soon discovered that every time I saw a lab I started crying....I thought to myself I am so losing it....what's wrong with me?...Kadie was gone and It was not just yesterday either?????....do I need therapy?...lol....and then a friend said that I should make a page for Kadie...and put her story down as a way to heal.....I did just that and I never looked at it again ....I didn't even tell anyone about her either .... I was very busy at the time trying to raise Sadie ...I thought what the heck is wrong with me?...she wont listen to any thing...training was so very hard...Kadie came to me from the shelter at about 3 years of age....and fully trained....this little puppy was quite a handful in comparison...and boy did I compare them ...lol...it was a tough first 6 months with my new puppy...she just now at the age of just over a year ...is pottie trained!!! YAY!!! good god that was sooooo Hard!!!!!!....and then Came Hopey ...she was a group effort rescue and I had agreed to foster her.....such a sad start she had...in march I picked her up from the pound the day she was to be PTD ...she was just skin and bones with a belly full of worms she looked like an Ethiopian child that you see on those late night fund raiser drives for feed the children.....the vet didn't think she would make it.....she did and is now thriving......she reminds me of Kadie....in spirit.....such a sweet girl she is....I think she was sent to me by Kadie to help with Sadie.....I noticed a big difference when Hopey would do well Sadie did well....I think I would have lost my mind trying to train Sadie without Hopey...I even went to puppy class with her....don't get me wrong I love the little sh.. with my whole hart...she is a spit fire....and one of the coolest little spirits I have ever met....she makes me smile to watch her frolic with Hopey....and both are the biggest cuddlers ever.....but I can so relate to how it was those first 6 months thinking I was the worst pawrent ever.....everyone else saying how there puppy's were pottie trained after the first 2 or 3 accidents and here I am a year later dealing with this stubborn puppy....lol I wouldn't trade it for the world....during my time this last year on dogster I have met and formed some wonderful friendships ...supportive and loving...one of my very good pals was Jim the daddy behind Sammi a big trouble maker and wonderful sweet picture maker ....Jim showed me how to make pictures and I stared to make wings ...The Ateam had just started...and Jim asked me to join as Kadie and make wings.....I must say it was very strange being Kadie ....at first I would just type and cry I would read stories that were so similar to my own and it would tear me up....I would get these rosettes and Pmails stars and all filled with love and gratitude....they had no Idea how I felt ....they were thanking me for bringing healing Joy to them....but they didn't know was they were bringing it to me......dang I am so leaking out my eyes right now
Annie you are also very wise in what you say.. there is a time for every thing under heaven.. a time to grieve a time to stop grieving. a time to live a time to die. and we do have to look back and remember but we also have to take care of those that live now and are very close to us.. I also think you are right about the holidays.. they are always tough becuz our memories are often stronger during the holidays and so we grieve more. I have such a sweet little pup! He is growing sweeter every day! He has been laying beside me waiting on me for some time tonight.. so faithful.. so loving.. There comes a time that I must have only the pleasant memories of the old guy and still look back with joy but also look forward to this loving companion that I have been blessed with. Thank you and Daisy both for your kind words to all us pups and pup moms.
I must confess I was a little obsesed with your pictures Nakaiso much like my Kadie girlI would cry while I made all your wings and think how lucky you were to have puppy years with your baby alsoI so love how wonderful your pictures are such a talent you have
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He soon knew what that meant also.
~
mom & dad are older now
....lol I wouldn't trade it for the world....during my time this last year on dogster I have met and formed some wonderful friendships ...supportive and loving...one of my very good pals was Jim the daddy behind Sammi a big trouble maker and wonderful sweet picture maker ....Jim showed me how to make pictures and I stared to make wings ...The Ateam had just started...and Jim asked me to join as Kadie and make wings.....I must say it was very strange being Kadie ....at first I would just type and cry I would read stories that were so similar to my own and it would tear me up....I would get these rosettes and Pmails stars and all filled with love and gratitude....they had no Idea how I felt ....they were thanking me for bringing healing Joy to them....but they didn't know was they were bringing it to me......