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ESS Anonymous(Share in your headaches) » Group Forum

Mom is torn...

  
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Jerry- Springer

Lucky me!		 
 
Barked: Sat Apr 28, '07 4:14pm PST 
Mom loves me; I've been with her now for about three months, but I try her patience and she doesn't know what to do with me.

On the one hand, she's even talking about "re-homing" me, whatever that means; she tells people what a handful I am, and they sympathize. She says the most distressing thing I do is that when we're walking on the sidewalk--or especially, when we're stopped on the street and she's talking to a friend, say--I will see someone running toward us and I'll jump up and snag their sleeve as they pass. She says that's "totally unacceptable." It happened three times on our walk up to Union Square this morning! Score!

She's been talking to trainers; a very nice man came to visit me last Sunday and we went for a walk and he took the leash. He was so great and seemed to relate to me so well, I wanted to leave with him!

But she's feeling that I might be better off in the suburbs after all; she doesn't know if I'll ever adapt to city life, and she hates to have to keep me in the crate all the time. She says she doesn't have a lot of money to spend on trainers, which is why she's begun thinking about surrendering me to an English Springer rescue. They say she'd still have to be the foster home until a forever home is found; she doesn't really want to give me up, so she's okay with that.

The rescue lady said if I'm under three years old, I'd probably "settle down" soon, but I'm such a handful for her right now, it's tough. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
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Emma Lynn

Dogs make our- lives whole		 
 
Barked: Sat Apr 28, '07 5:12pm PST 
I can understand your frustration. You have a young dog, who has been in a shelter situation. Springers are active dogs, sometimes not settling down until the age of three. It sounds like he would definitely benefit from a beginning obedience class. The $50-60 dollars would be well worth it. It will teach you good handling skills and socialize your boy. You can supplement this with obedience training manuals. It takes a LOT of work to get a well behaved dog. Training starts from the minute he joins your family and goes on for his lifetime. It takes commitment ,consistancy and love. Don't give up and subject this dog to long periods in the crate. This is a dog that needs exercise. His behavior will only worsen. Blocking him with a gate or putting him in a safe room would be much better. If you feel you can't make this work, I wouldn't give him to a shelter. You never know if he will find a home or have to be euthanized. Do contact the Springer Rescue. They will do everything possible to find him the right home. Good Luck.
Jerry- Springer

Lucky me!		 
 
Barked: Sat Apr 28, '07 7:02pm PST 
I guess I didn't make myself clear; Mom is working with me and is considering hiring a trainer to work one-on-one with me. She has to have me in a crate for now--suburban people don't understand that most New York apartments don't have laundry rooms and breezeways, no matter what the apartments on Friends and Kate and Allie looked like--and the crating has been part of a program called NILIF (Nothing In Life Is Free) where she has to isolate me. Considering that I'm getting four walks a day, I''m not exactly languishing.

She's also working from the best training book she knows of: Natural Dog Training: Working from the Dog's Point of View. One possibility is that she might board me up in Newfane, Vermont while I get trained; training down here may cost $150 a week, for an unknown period of weeks.

She had one person suggest shortly after she brought me home that she take me back to the shelter, and she wouldn't; that's not an option. She knows that any dog that's returned to a shelter situation is more than likely going to be put down, and that's plain cruel. She loves me, but she wants what's best for me; that's why she's torn. And yes, she talked to the rescue lady the other day.
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Emma Lynn

Dogs make our- lives whole		 
 
Barked: Sun Apr 29, '07 2:38pm PST 
Hi, Thanks for clairifying your situation. I did misunderstand some of your comments. It does sound like you are doing a responsible job of caring for your boy. I just read the NILIF philosophy online and it contains a lot of common sense ideas. I had never heard of it before. Reminds me a little of the Dog Whisperer's philosophy. I didn't realize that you were in a New York appt. and that they don't have safe room areas. Training sounds very expensive there, also. I was thinking of the going kennel club rate for a 6 week course around this area. Sounds like you are doing a great job. Good luck to you.
Jerry- Springer

Lucky me!		 
 
Barked: Tue May 1, '07 8:09am PST 
There are a few different descriptions of NILIF online; the one we're working from is simple and it's located here. The trainer who recommended it said, "Just take out all the dominance stuff and follow the instructions."

Although Cesar Millan (The Dog Whisperer, or as Mom's trainer friend refers to him, "The Dog Abuserer) has a few good points, like calm leadership, she far prefers the Natural Dog Training approach. It flies in the face of most other training methods, so it's not widely accepted; most people have this "alpha wolf" idea, which is plain wrong. Lee explains on his website:

"Similar to the methods used to train search-and-rescue dogs, The Kelley Method (based on Natural Dog Training, by Kevin Behan) is a totally natural, holistic approach to training that always works, even where other methods fail. It operates on the principle that a dog's social instincts, which govern his desire to learn and obey, are inextricably linked to his prey drive. By stimulating and then satisfying a dog's hunting instinct you automatically restructure the pack's emotional dynamic. This creates intense focus and a strong desire for cooperation, and is far more effective at teaching a dog to obey than the use of food treats or punishment."

Mom is starting to accept that I'm in my "terrible twos," and is trying to deal with that accordingly!
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Jerry- Springer

Lucky me!		 
 
Barked: Tue May 1, '07 8:33pm PST 
Oh, and by the way, ther eare cheaper options for dog training; the $150 a week is for one-on-one training, and because I have specific problems that have to be addressed. Mom is willing to do this if it will help; she doubts a conventional group obedience class will address my needs adequately.

It is true, though: everything is more expensive in New York.
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Cate

Dogs make our- lives whole		 
 
Barked: Thu May 3, '07 3:10pm PST 
Hi, Thanks for the information on this dog training philosophy which is new to me. I did print pages from those websites and look forward to reading them. I do like the Dog Whisperer, though. I think he does an amazing job with problem dogs.
Right now I have a 15 month old springer who is very laid-back at home but still so excitable around new people, especially other dogs. I've had her to puppy, beg. obedience and therapy classes, plus tons of socialization. I had planned on getting her TDI certification next Fall, but after a therapy event the other night I think it might take us some more time and training. She's my sweetest dog ever, and I'm anxious use her in therapy events. There will be lots of training going on this summer, I suspect-- or it might be easier to wait until she matures. Thanks, again.
Jerry- Springer

Lucky me!		 
 
Barked: Fri May 4, '07 8:30am PST 
Well, there's this current discussion on Cesar going on on a local website; you might want to check it out. My take is that if he has been known to harm dogs with his methods--and he has--his dominance training is probably not a good thing in the long run.
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Emma Lynn

Dogs make our- lives whole		 
 
Barked: Fri May 4, '07 2:10pm PST 
Interesting article. All of Cate's instructors have used positive training methods. In canine freestyle, it's all done with positive training, praise( and bait). You can see the dogs learning and having fun. My first obedience class with Emma was of the old school-- with the "popping of the leash" method. Many instructors of that type are still teaching and ruining dogs. There are dogs who require different techniques, but I definitely don't agree with things I have seen, such as the "hanging of the dog" by the leash, the alpha roll, or pulling out of frightened rescue dogs who are taking cover under a chair. Thanks for sharing.
Jerry- Springer

Lucky me!		 
 
Barked: Mon May 21, '07 8:42pm PST 
Well, Mom talked to the trainer again today, and he said he thinks I'm "too much dog" for Mom to handle. She's heartbroken about this, because she was trying to do right by me and give me a good home. But she has to crate me most of the day, and while she doesn't mind giving me four walks a day, she's dead-tired.

So she has to talk to the springer rescue people and ask them to list me. She'll send pictures of me, and will have the final say in who gets me, meaning it might take a long time before she finds me a home. She might change her mind, even. She knows she'll miss me.
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