Is this the right thing to do?

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What does "calm"- mean, mommy?
Barked: Sat Jul 27, '13 2:42pm PST 
This is long, but please read!

Alright, so unfortunately I'm in the process of having to rehome one of my furkids. I've recently had another dog kind of thrown into my lap which makes a grand total of three 50lb dogs in a 2 bedroom apartment. Believe me, it's a bit cramped. So, the best behaved and youngest (1 yr 4 months) of the three is getting rehomed. A Lab mix. I don't rehome my dogs lightly. Granted, this is the first time I've ever had to.. but I'm not just just giving him to the first person that wants him.

Ok, now to the story. I had an older lady I work with who was immediately interested in him. She had had a Lab before and just a few years ago had to put her down due to age, she was 15. I told her a bit about my Griffin and let him go for a "sleepover" about a week ago. He had diarrhea the whole time he was over there due to the fact that he had shredded a plastic food bowl the day before that I had forgotten about. She utterly panicked over this saying he must have some kind of intestinal worm and he was sick. I assured her that was not the case, considering i had just taken ALL of them to the vet the previous week and all was good. Plus, if it was intestinal, my other 2 would be sick too.. and they weren't. So he came back home with me and that night his stools were firm again.

At work, I told her a bit more about him. I told him he is still a pup and isn't 100% bomb proof trained. That he does need someone who can train out a few of his bad habits and work on his separation anxiety as well as have the energy to keep him exercised. Well, she decided she wanted to give it one more try. So she took him on Thursday (25th) and he'll be back home tomorrow (28th). The problem I have is that this whole weekend, all I've heard about is everything he's done wrong. "He had an accident in the house!" "He got into the dog treats!" "He chewed up stuff in our laundry room!" (Which is where the separation anxiety comes in).

This is my concern. I'm worried she and her husband are expecting a LOT from a not even 1.5 year old LAB who I've said needs some work. He's not perfect, he has some things that need to be worked on and I've told them that. I worry that they are expecting him to act like their 15 yr old Lab did. Which is NOT going to happen. I also worry that if he doesn't act exactly how they expect him to right off the bat, they're going to either regret getting him and dump him back in my lap or at a shelter.

So here I am worrying about all this and realizing that if things don't work out with them, I don't have a back up plan. So I put up an ad on my local classifieds site and wrote a huge description about exactly what I expect in a prospective "adopter" and what they should expect from Griffin. Within an hour I got a text from someone wanting to meet him. I started talking to her and this family sounds AMAZING for him. Its a mom and her 2 daughters that recently moved into a new 4 story house with a securely fenced in yard. They also all have experience with training multiple dogs and experience with rescue dogs (which Griffin is). They are also a moderately active family and someone will always be home with him.

I am going to meet them this week with Griffin so I can meet the family and see the house and yard. I've already asked her a million questions and they seem perfect, but I still want to meet them first and give Griff a "trial run" with them.

My only problem is the lady I work with. Now, I NEVER told her that she was 100% getting Griffin. I still hadn't decided if I even wanted him to go to her. And with everything that I've heard from her and seen, I don't know for sure if that is the best home for my boy. I told her that someone else is interested in him and she acts like I'm stealing her dog from her. When in reality, I had never told her that she could absolutely have him. I just want whats best for my boy!

What do I do!? cryred face

forever loved
Barked: Sat Jul 27, '13 2:52pm PST 
I would go for the trial run with the other family. The lady you work with sounds like she expects way too much out of him when he isn't even fully mature yet..labs take a while, lol. Good luck.way to go

Don't allow her to guilt-trip you into letting her have your dog. I've had someone try to do that with a foster dog I had, no way in the world would I let them go to someone who tries to pull that. Even if that family doesn't work out, I don't know if I would be willing to let someone have him who could only complain about him the two times she had him.shrug Personally though, I wouldn't have told her someone else was interested in him until you had the dog back in your possession...

Edited by author Sat Jul 27, '13 2:58pm PST


What does "calm"- mean, mommy?
Barked: Sat Jul 27, '13 3:08pm PST 
Thats exactly what she's doing too confused
I mean, other than complaining about every little thing that goes wrong, it's a great home. They have a nice big backyard and her husband "jogs" (speedwalks? laugh out loud ) every morning. So it's not like it's a terrible home for him to go to. Just my gut is telling me that he'll end up back in my bed in a few months. shrug I just don't want him juggled around anymore than he needs to be.

And yeah, telling her now might not have been too smart, but it's not like she can hide him from me. I know where she lives, have her phone number and work with her. Plus, that would be stealing considering his adoption papers are under my name as well as all vet records and microchip info.

Edited by author Sat Jul 27, '13 3:14pm PST


Penny- (formerly- Dolly) is- ADOP

Barked: Sat Jul 27, '13 5:55pm PST 
Placing a pet in a new home is like an arranged marriage, and this one is headed for failure. Don't feel guilty. You have to place the dog in the right home for both dog and owner. Anyone that takes in a young dog and complains about what it chewed up, and that it had accidents, is an idiot in my book. (Sorry) I don't expect a dog of any age to be perfect in a new home.

I have a new foster pup. She is crated or leashed to a person all the time. She will be for the entire time I have her (maybe 2 weeks, she's got a good home waiting.) I know if she chews or goes potty inside, it's MY fault, not hers.

Don't feel bad. It's not like there is a shortage of homeless dogs. This couple should consider a more mature, but still active dog.

What does "calm"- mean, mommy?
Barked: Sun Jul 28, '13 12:27am PST 
All day, this lady has been sending me text after text after text about how much they love him and how much they want him. I said, well thats good and all, but just because YOU want him doesn't mean I'm 100% comfortable giving him to you. It seems like she's just trying to compliment me to death until I say she can have him. I told her "Right now, I feel like he'll be dumped back into my lap in a few months so you need to let me think about what I want to do. I'm not saying you aren't going to get him but I'm not promising him to you. That was never the case. I AM still going to meet this other family and you need to understand, that in the end, it is my decision as to who i think is best for him."

I'm not trying to be rude to her. I just want whats best for my boy. I'm kind of worried I'll give into her just so I don't have to deal with hearing her complain about it at work every single day.

The reassurance that looking at other homes is the right thing is what I need! So thank you guys!

If it turns out this other home is WAY more suited to Griffin (and I'm not sure yet, I know just the basics of the family and the home, hense why we're going to meet the on Tuesday) how should I go about telling the lady I work with that I've chosen the other people? I don't want to just be like "You lose. You don't get him." I don't want her to think I chose them because she's a bad dog owner. She's not, she just needs a more relaxed dog.

the world's- first blond,- agility Beagle
Barked: Sun Jul 28, '13 5:49am PST 
I think that last sentence is perfect. It says it all, it's not insulting to her, it's just the truth.

Tell her that…..

Barked: Mon Jul 29, '13 8:02am PST 
How come you're rehoming Griffin in the first place? I thought you said he was the most well behaved out of the 3. Why not give her one of the other 2? In any case, good luck with meeting the other family tomorrow. smile
Shiver Me- Timbers- "Charlie"

My Little Dog, a- heartbeat at my- feet.<3
Barked: Mon Jul 29, '13 10:30am PST 
Yoshi - Often, rehoming the best behaved is the easiest, because nobody wants to take on dogs with more serious issues. Also, if the dogs with more serious issues need your help more, well.. wouldn't you want to find the right home for the dog that doesn't?

I think you're doing the right thing, and I agree with Sonny's owner. Ultimately, you want to find the absolute best home for him. I say, don't worry about her feelings, worry about what type of home you're putting Griffin in instead.
Jewel, PCD

8.6lbs of fury- in a bow!
Barked: Mon Jul 29, '13 1:49pm PST 
What I would do is hit petfinder and print out some profiles of older labs in the area that need homes and take the lady you work with those if you decide to go with the other family. I would just gently tell her it's not that you don't think she'd be a great home it's that you think she's used to a different energy and look at all these more mature labs in the area that need homes!

Lenny -The- Wrecking Ball
Barked: Mon Jul 29, '13 3:46pm PST 
I agree with Charlie and Sonny, telling her the truth shouldn't hurt her feelings. Saying you found a home who can better handle a young lab (especially one with separation anxiety) shouldn't hurt her feelings, it's just in his best interest. And maybe looking up a few older labs who need homes to suggest to her isn't a bad idea either.
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