Newly adopted dog not interacting well with other dog or family...

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Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 12:04pm PST 
I am really on the fence with this situation and could use some advice!
I have a wonderful golden doodle, Cooper, who is 2 years old, very playful, not a leader but not a follower. He has been the love of my life for these past 2 years and is practically me and my boyfriend’s child. We thought it would be a great idea to get him a buddy, and searched out a terrier mix that we rescued on Saturday from the Dumb Friends League shelter. I trust this shelter and have volunteered for them and donated to them for years. They said this medium sized terrier, Charlie, had some protection issues regarding his food, but that he got along well with other dogs and was a happy guy. However, since bringing him home he has been territorial of me, not allowing Cooper to get close, is pushing Cooper out of his ‘spots’ by growling and kind of bullying him, and is not playing with Cooper like I had hoped. Cooper will try to initiate play with Charlie, but Charlie will only actively play if I begin a tug of war game with them both and then let them play without me. Thus, Cooper is acting very depressed and sad, which is the complete opposite of what I was hoping for!
I’m not sure if this is normal when bringing a new dog into the house, but my boyfriend and I are feeling like we have to defend and play extra with Cooper, as he is having these adverse feelings towards the new one. Don’t get me wrong, I like Charlie and think he is a sweet tempered dog and I realize it will take time to develop a relationship with each other. However, I am feeling so defensive over Cooper, it is making it difficult to give Charlie a chance. I feel horrible about thinking that we should return him to the shelter, but I cannot ignore the feelings my boyfriend and I are having and the things I am seeing occur between Charlie and Cooper. I have to defend and do what is best for Cooper as he is my long standing dog, however I know my responsibility to Charlie and do not want to take the poor guy back just when he thought he had found a home.
So, any advice is greatly appreciated. I am currently thinking I should take the dog back to the shelter, as it just doesn’t feel like the right fit. But then my heart wrenches, and I would be devastated to find out he hadn’t been adopted.
Jewel, PCD

8.6lbs of fury- in a bow!
Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 12:26pm PST 
Okay well as a foster home I can tell you that the dog they see in the shelter is not the dog you get in a home. And that the dog you're seeing is not the real dog yet either. When a new foster comes into my house it's walk walk walk! They have lots of pent up and nervous energy to burn off.

Did the two dogs get to met before you adopted? I always think it's funny that people expect dogs to just get along right away and not build friendships like people do. I wouldn't give up on them yet, but do give them individual time and time together. They BOTH need to feel special.

Do you have/use food dispensing toys? I've found them to be great at mentally wearing out a dog that isn't ready for training yet. Also since the new dog is a terrier you may want to google how to make a flirt pole, 10 minutes with a flirt pole is better than a 20 minute walk!

So my basic message is to power through this settling in rough patch (couple weeks) by wearing out that new dog! By giving the dogs special one-on-one time and group time for them to become friends. way to go

It ain't over- till the fat- kitty sings
Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 12:47pm PST 
Yes, exercise exercise exercise especially with a terrier. It can be a hard situation. We were lucky that Callie and Sophie got along from the very beginning but we've had cats that took a long time to settle in the house. Of course dogs are different but sometimes it is just waiting it out. When we adopted Sophie we had a tomcat who stayed upstairs for a month. When he did finally come down to a dog in his house he left claws in her forehead. Then he flipped and kept trying to hump her. Now they have a fairly peaceable relationship. It just takes time, best of luck!!!


Shiba-dors rule!
Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 1:37pm PST 
Hi, I can relate to what you're going through. We recently adopted a new dog, Graham, and have been going through some of the same issues with him and our older dog, Molly. The first few days Graham would growl and lunge at Molly whenever we tried to show her any affection. The funny thing is that they get along fine in other circumstances. They eat right next to each other, share toys, and stay close together when on walks or in the yard.
What has seemed to work for us is rewarding Graham whenever he behaves politely to Molly. For example, if I can pet both of them without trouble, he gets a cookie. Also, my son and I sat on opposite sides of the room and each petted one of them. Then we switched dogs and continued to talk to them in reassuring voices. Next, I sat next to Molly's kennel, with her door open, and petted her while petting Graham with the other hand. The basic idea is to make the new dog develop good associations with the other dog getting attention. "If I'm nice to her, or my people are petting her, good things will happen".
It's taken time, but they have recently started to actually play together on their own. Graham can still be a little sharp with her, but it is improving every day. Have faith, it can get better.