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Do I really deserve a SD?

The Service and Therapy Dog forum is for all service and therapy dogs regardless of whether or not their status is legally defined by federal or state law, how they are trained, or whether or not they are "certified." Posts questioning or disputing a person's need for a service or therapy dog, the validity of a person's service or therapy dog, or the dog's ability to do the work of a service or therapy dog are not permitted in this forum. Please keep discussions fun, friendly, and helpful at all times.

  
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Kodiak CGC

WOOoooOOoo
 
 
Barked: Fri Nov 2, '12 11:43am PST 
rewording to make my post shorter. frown sorry everyone.

First off. I'm very bad at communicating online. If something I say seems off or upsets someone, please ask me about it before attacking me.

The laundry list of things I've been diagnosed with: Panic disorder, Generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, major depression, and even asperger's. (I think that last one is a load of bull.) I also get crippling migraines and I have occasional issues with mobility from a growth plate break when I was young.

The therapist I used to see suggested that since I was already trying to train a SD for myself and he was already alerting me to panic attacks and doing some useful trained tasks, I should get him a vest and an in-training tag and start working with him seriously.

I did for a little while, and was starting to feel really good about it.. but then I had a breakdown again, because my boyfriend told me he was uncomfortable being out with me and my dog. I feel like everyone (my partner and family included) thinks I'm just faking it and that I don't need him, like I'm trying to be one of those people who says their pet is a service dog to play around with him.
I DO NOT WANT to be one of those people. frown

I guess what I'm wondering is...

How do you know if you deserve to have a SD, vs just wanting a SD because you don't want to rely on pills and other people? Where do you draw the line between want vs need? If you can get by and have learned to deal with things without a SD, does that mean you're 'cheating' if you have one?

How do you find validation? Do you just have the internal strength to be able to say, 'this dog makes my life easier, I will defend that'? How do you deal with friends and family thinking you're faking it? (or at least feeling like they're thinking that)

Edited by author Fri Nov 2, '12 2:13pm PST

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Josephine

Yeah, I can do- that, but I- won't!

moderator
 
 
Barked: Fri Nov 2, '12 2:04pm PST 
what do you think or feel for yourself?
I think with the post you convinced yourself that a SD is the right thing for you flowers
one thing - never ever, only rely on the dog. Medication, other people and treatment is essential for success and your wellbeing hug

Happy wishes, sonja and the crew
Maddox

Captain Three- Legs
 
 
Barked: Fri Nov 2, '12 2:07pm PST 
Well if you meet the ADA criteria of disabled, and you can task train a dog to help you, why not? But I guess before you come looking online (especially if you're expecting the worst), I'd go ahead and ask your support system at home, be it your therapist, your family, your friends, boyfriend, or any combination of those what their opinions on it are. Remember though, the only opinion that will actually stop you are your own, and the law, and it doesn't seem like the law is really an issue, so it sounds more like it's on you. Take care of yourself, you'll make the right decision and be able to live with it. Worst case scenario is you put a vest on your dog and decide it doesn't feel right, and you take it off. Simple as that.
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Kodiak CGC

WOOoooOOoo
 
 
Barked: Fri Nov 2, '12 2:24pm PST 
Josephine - "what do you think or feel for yourself?" That's sort've the heart of my issue, I think. I'm building up to being able to do that. As it is, I can feel/think as hard as I want.. and the first time someone says otherwise I'm a shaking sobbing mess believing them 100%. I'm a lot better than I used to be, if you can believe it.

I need someone to tell me "Yes, you're allowed to do this" or "No, you can't do this". I know I shouldn't, and I've been told that by half a dozen different therapists now (all of whom I wind up dropping because I panic and get it in my head that they're out to get me, and then I hate myself for that later, ugh. Or they drop ME because I'm too unstable and I'm "not the kind of person [they] want as a client"...)

I can't function alone yet. I just can't. I'm trying to get there, but when I can only fake it by standing behind a man and popping pills... well, that doesn't seem helpful.

Maddox- I've tried to turn to the people around me. The one therapist I asked said it was a great idea. My boyfriend says I'm just 'trying to play a victim'. My parents would just outright laugh at me. They already think I'm weird for letting my dogs inside, if I told them I felt like I needed a dog to function in society.. I can't even imagine the reaction.
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Member Since
05/21/2010
 
 
Barked: Fri Nov 2, '12 3:00pm PST 
If having a SD will give you the confidence to function on your own...without your boyfriend or parents...then I say go for it. Personally, having a dog-even him just being a pet-has given me so much more confidence in my life...and no, my dad does not like dogs at all...he doesn't think I should own one much less keep him indoors-the horror. So while I love my dad, I respectfully disagree when it comes to family holding others back from something they love or will help them in their personal life. It also helps to have my boyfriend back me up in regards to my choices...so perhaps you may want to make it clear that you would appreciate their support? I wish you the best of luck! hug way to go
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Kodiak CGC

WOOoooOOoo
 
 
Barked: Fri Nov 2, '12 3:35pm PST 
I brought the subject back up to my boyfriend, thinking it was going to be a struggle to convince him.. and he said he never meant to make me feel like I should stop training Kodi for SD work and that he thought it was really helping and didn't know why I stopped. red face
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Josephine

Yeah, I can do- that, but I- won't!

moderator
 
 
Barked: Fri Nov 2, '12 9:30pm PST 
there is no one but you and your boyfriend who can convince you to make you feel "being worth having a SD".
There will be lots of people doubting, harassing you, talking mean about you. There will also be the ones supporting you, loving you, respecting you.
I know you got trust enough in yourself to make this decision.
You already did..... one step at a time flowers
Sending love, sonja and the crew.
Kodiak CGC

WOOoooOOoo
 
 
Barked: Sat Nov 3, '12 4:34am PST 
hug Thank you for your kind words Josephine- Not the kind of response I'm used to. Gives me hope to stick around here (my first experience with a thread here wasn't exactly friendly).

And thanks guest. Your "perhaps you may want to make it clear that you would appreciate their support?" was why I brought it back up with the bf.

Thank you everyone for being nice. relieved
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Happy

The Boy Wonder
 
 
Barked: Sat Nov 3, '12 6:10am PST 
I've sometimes found that by writing family in an email or letter can help you express yourself without having to deal with the direct conflict. Explain to them that they're treatment is hurtful and that you really need their support with this.
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Member Since
05/21/2010
 
 
Barked: Sat Nov 3, '12 1:21pm PST 
Glad to hear that, Kodiak! It is wonderful to have someone by your side who cares for you. Hope things continue to go well for you! hug
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