Upset with a friend, not sure where to put this

Share advice for keeping your aging dog happy and healthy

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Honey Bear
Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 10:14pm PST 
Those are some good points, but I'd think that if they were the case here, wouldn't the friend have said so when the OP questioned her? Then there's the fact that the owner didn't have her spayed originally because she wanted to breed her...doesn't give me a very good impression of the owner. Makes it hard for me to give her the benefit of the doubt based on the information we're given here, though of course it's possible.

I am the Sock- Bandit!!!
Barked: Thu Aug 9, '12 7:51am PST 
Good points. I even offered to help pay for the treatment of my relative's dog, but got the answer "he's just a dog and I don't want to owe a bunch of money for him". Some people just have different priorities, sadly simply owning a dog doesn't necessarily mean that the dog is a high priority in that person's life.

This same relative went out and bought a motorcycle the very next month. That said it all to me, and I will never respect that person in the same way I once did.
Vance CGC

You kids g'off- my lawn!
Barked: Thu Aug 9, '12 2:18pm PST 
Assuming this is a friend you want to keep, bite your tongue on all judgments concerning her now deceased dog. He's gone, there is nothing left to debate. Regardless of whether he was "just a dog" or not, she had to have cared for him to some extent to keep him going for 8 years with so many health issues, and passing judgment on an owner once the dog is gone is just incredibly insensitive in any circumstances.

It does sound like your friend has some money issues she needs to come to terms with if she wants another pet of any species. Care is expensive, and hybrids are not necessarily healthier. You could take a scientific approach on that end, if she's the type to listen to that.

I would also sympathetically suggest that she allow herself plenty of time to grieve before looking for another dog. People can get very impulsive when they're trying to fill an emotional void and make some awful choices. And while it's a tougher subject to broach, she -should- get her finances in order before taking on what is basically a completely variable monthly bill. Sure, it's a bill that loves you like no other and is 100% worthwhile... But a dog is a regular expense that can range from $15 for food that week to $10000 in emergency care one night - and everything in between.


Giving my paw- can get me- anything!
Barked: Thu Aug 9, '12 4:18pm PST 
I see this at work everyday and its just heartbreaking. People acquire animals with no intention of preventing/ treating heartworms, having them spayed/neutered, or spending any money at all on preventative care. Then when the animal gets heartworms, a pyo or even worse pregnant or dystocia, they freak out on us for not helping them for free. Then getting another dog like its no big deal. There is nothing more infuriating to me. I work at a low cost clinic where a pyo only costs $200 over the spay cost ($40-95 depending on animal and size) and we still get complaints.

People are frustrating....

Member Since
Barked: Fri Aug 10, '12 12:07pm PST 
Thanks for the responses, I appreciate them. Just to clarify some things...

She didn't spend thousands of dollars for the hemolytic anemia. The dog was on medication that was inexpensive for a short period of time.

I do know that after she and her girlfriend broke up, she stopped paying for the dogs medication because the dog "seemed to be getting better." She didn't do this on any advice from a veternarian, she just didn't want to pay for the medication any longer if the dog "didn't need it."

This last time she went through a heat, she bled out like something had ruptured and that's when my friend finally took her in to the vet.

Previously, She was left unspayed for her whole life and lived with another male chihuahua in the hopes that she would get pregnant. Thankfully, she never did. She did have multiple false pregnancies her whole life (or so that's what my friend said).

BTW- the dog is female, not male. Not sure which poster referred to the dog as a he, but girl dogs are spayed, males are neutered. just fyi. male dogs also don't get pyometra, because you have to have a uterus to get that.

as for me being insensitive, maybe I am. She was really sad about the dog, but she's not in dire straights financially or anything. She certainly didn't make the same choices I would have made with my dog. it was hard for me to hear her tell me about the little chihuahua dying when she didn't have to have a bad death like that.

It's not like the little dog was hit by a car in some freak accident.
Sanka- I'll Miss- You

The ground is my- newspaper.
Barked: Wed Aug 15, '12 7:35am PST 
Yeah, I unfortunately know people like that.

What's the adoption fee? Most are around $100. If the dog is bigger than the chi, she'll have to spend more money on a collar and leash. And probably more money on dog food. If the shelter didn't give vaccines, she'll have to pay for that.

Quite honestly, for general care, she'll hit $500 pretty quick on a new dog.

oops theres a- wall there!
Barked: Wed Aug 22, '12 8:01pm PST 
Even though Zoey is a mix and we got her for free, already in vet bills (not including being spayed which is happenin soon) we've already spent at least 300 just on her shots. Even if she was to get a shelter dog, the shelter fees at least around here are no less than 100. We adopted one from our local shelter and then had to invest more money cause he was covered in huge ticks and had "red eye" which they did not pay for. Luckily though our vet is awesome and fixed his red eye while he was under to be neutered so we didnt have to spend the usual 1000 plus.

but people are going to do what they want, maybe just remind her of how expensive they can be? Even if it's in perfect health things happen, like snake bites, car accidents, etc.
Miyu CGC

Bow down to the- Princess Brat!
Barked: Wed Aug 22, '12 10:40pm PST 
That is really tough. I'm going to concur with some others and ask you to maybe evaluate just how important your friendship is with this person, and judge what you're going to do from there. I've lectured people on things before before, but remembering what it was like being lectured TO makes me remember that maybe sometimes we just need to bite our tongues. Not every discussion needs to be turned into a soap box about how we feel as though pets should be treated, or the benefits of speutering, etc.

I'm with you though, all the way. It's why I DO have pet insurance, so I wouldn't have to agonize over a decision like that should the worst occur. I also do feel like she probably shouldn't get another dog if she didn't want to spend that on vet bills already. But you know, people are stubborn, and I feel like you've probably already done your best trying to help shed some objectivity on this. Sometimes... if the friendship matters to you, you just need to say it once and let it be.

Barked: Wed Sep 5, '12 5:53pm PST 
I have dropped that much on dogs health many times over the years. It is worth it to have my fur kids around me for as long as I can have them.
Indiana- Jones

Car?! Did you- say car?!
Barked: Thu Sep 27, '12 6:33pm PST 
I don't blame you for saying what you did. Most of us would think the same, but don't always have the guts to say so. I agree with you in that this friend should NOT own another dog. Does she have any kids? I know a woman who has kids and will get a dog out of guilt from a divorce. Then something happens (not well trained, runs away etc.), then she will give it away and gets another. The issues are not these poor dogs that need a home, it's the owners who don't take the time to train them or get them for the wrong reasons. Anyway, getting OT, but your friend is wrong. If she gets offended, it's because she is guilty for wanting another dog for whatever reason and knows it's the wrong reason.

Best of luck and keep speaking your mind. If she is a true friend, she will get over it and hopefully come to her senses.
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