Upset with a friend, not sure where to put this

Share advice for keeping your aging dog happy and healthy

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Member Since
Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 10:19am PST 
I haven't been on Dogster for a while, but recently a situation came to my attention and I just really needed to vent about it. A good friend of mine had a chihuahua who had some fairly serious issues through out her life, both temperament and health. Examples include the dog biting new people, and her being sick with hemolytic anemia (spelling?) This dog was only eight years old, which is really young for a small breed. I don't know where she came from, other then that it was from some woman in the paper who had puppies for sale.

My friend didn't want to spay her, because they wanted her to have puppies (sigh) and left her in tact until the day they put her down.

Last weekend, the poor dog came down with pyometra, and the vet quoted her a price of about 1,500 to remove the dog's uterus. My friend refused, stating money concerns. The vet came back and said that he had an intern from a university who had never done a hysterectomy, and that he would cut the price down to 500 if she would let his intern do the surgery.

She refused that too, stating that it was still too much money and had the dog put down instead.

Now, she's talking about adopting another dog at the pound on that's a "mutt" because she thinks it will be more healthy then a purebred.

She got really angry at my reaction to her story, and maybe it was justifiable on her part. I know sometimes I can be judgmental when it comes to how other people treat their dogs, but if Harper had come down with pyo or anything else, I'd have coughed up the 1500 to save her in the first place, or at least have taken the vet up on his offer of 500. I'd do anything to save my dog.

And I told her that they had things like Care Credit at most vet offices. She said she didn't want another bill to pay. I don't understand that. To me, my dog's life is more important then having another bill...

All that and she's thinking of getting another dog at the pound. I told her that really 500.00 wasn't THAT much money to spend on a dog and that if she couldn't afford that, then she may want to reconsider getting a dog at all because they're going to have emergencies. It's just how life works. Horrible things happen to great dogs (and people). I also told her that just because a dog was a mixed pound dog was no guarantee it would be healthier. I mentioned that pet insurance was a good way to offset the cost of expensive vet bills, but she didn't want to pay for that, either.

I told her my dog (who is a purebred) has a grandmother in Holland who lived to be 17, and that the person who bred her dog may not have done health testing or known anything about the lines from which she was breeding.

My friend got really mad at me and told me that I was judging her unfairly. I feel like maybe she got upset with me because I hit a nerve. Maybe she knew that her behavior was rather foul and was upset that her need for sympathy was not met. I just find it hard to be sympathetic with someone who is so cavalier about dog ownership.

I am the Sock- Bandit!!!
Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 11:21am PST 
It's heartbreaking. I've had similar happen with a member of my own family...just didn't want to spend the money on 'just a dog' and basically waited for him to die. I still have problems relating to that person because I just couldn't understand it.

You're right, if she can't even afford 500.00, that's really low nowadays for any vetting for an accidental injury, or even a fairly minor illness that needs a few visits and meds...Plus the pyo comes directly from her not spaying the dog in the first place, because that's the best way to avoid it when a person isn't breeding/showing the dog, anyway.

If you want your friend in your life, you might have to just drop it and try not to think about it. With that family member of mine, whenever the subject of dogs comes up (yep, they got another one too. &^%#@!) I just walk away and do my best to ignore ignorant things they say to justify what they've done (or not). It's no fun, I know.
Jewel, PCD

8.6lbs of fury- in a bow!
Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 12:51pm PST 
Seriously $500?? I dropped that on Jewel last week on really what could be considered unimportant stuff. She had bloodwork done not because anything's wrong but just because I wanted her "normal" numbers. She had a dental cleaning (paid the extra $60 for her to have an IV serious don't know why that's an extra), she had her anal glands flushed out (a bit of trouble lately) and a tube of cream for her dry eyes due to allergies. Just under $500, like $480.

So that dog of hers must not have been getting regular medical care at all if she thinks $500 for surgery was too much!

I think it's a decision you have to make either you're friends with this person and you never talk about dogs or you drop them.


Im just a little- guy
Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 1:04pm PST 
I would of put down 500 dollars on Milton to save his life. He is likely older than 8 years old. He is not unhealthy. I don't know how I would do 1200. There are ways like getting help from an organization that helps with vet bills or having a benefit. My dog is kinda popular and liked. I don't think I would be able to use care credit because of my financial issues. I do keep money around and save it.

Pets are a responsibility. She probably does not really like her dog. What makes her think the next one will be different?

dog-sitter in- charge.
Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 1:13pm PST 
frown i feel sorry for you.. frown and your 'friend's dog and any dogs for her in the future..

On the grand scale of things $500 is even on the low end of BUYING a dog of any decent breeding, that's only the purchase price. Sometimes even adopting a dog from a rescue can be like $200...

2 months ago almost exact to today, to put Lantis to sleep at 14.5 years old. The cost of the house-call veterinarian and all associated costs, cremation, etc itself was over $500...............

Member Since
Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 2:58pm PST 
Well, what I learned from the situation is that there are people who say they love their dog, and then there are people who really do love their dog. I've known people with very little disposable income pay well over 1,000 to get their dog the surgery that they need to live, just because to them there was no price too great.

I guess for me, dogs are not disposable or interchangeable.

Honey Bear
Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 3:22pm PST 
I think it would be highly irresponsible to get another dog when you can't even afford the medical care of your first dog. I think your friend is deluding herself and behaving selfishly. :/

Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 3:48pm PST 
There is a mention that the dog had hemolytic anemia. If that's the case (and based on my experience) the owner has probably spent thousands of dollars to treat this. It is a devastating disease and many times fatal. So I don't get why she wouldn't have spent a little more--unless the dog was not in remission and chances of survival were not good. Perhaps it wasn't money but that she did not want the dog to suffer any longer.

When my previous dog had auto immune hemolytic anemia we spent around 10K over two months trying to save her. We didn't. frown

So I am just saying that if the dog had this preexisting disease 1) the dog has been through a lot and suffered) 2) vet bills (and ICU bills) would be enormous. 3) the dog would have been a very poor candidate for surgery.

Do you even- lift?
Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 4:24pm PST 
I always marvel at people's lack of foresight when it comes to expenses. There was a GSD in a high kill shelter being shared on Facebook with the hope someone would pull/adopt her, and one person stated she would take the dog and give it a wonderful forever home if someone else paid the adoption fee because she couldn't afford it. The fee was $30.

On the plus side, at least if your friend gets a shelter dog, it will be spay/neutered. And since she doesn't sound like she's the type to pay the $1000+ it generally costs to obtain a dog from a reputable breeder, the shelter is a better option than buying from a BYB again.

When the night- closes in I will- be there
Barked: Wed Aug 8, '12 6:21pm PST 
I do understand a person with financial issues having to make the heartbreaking decision to euthanize because the money simply isn't there in an emergency. Its the reason a portion of each paycheck,even just a few dollars, goes into my emergency vet fund. Its the reason I cultivate a relationship with my vet.
Many, many years ago I got caught on that one. I was doing ok with the routine stuff, but an emergency caught me short. I was devastated and tried desperately to work something out.
It doesn't sound like that was the case and that's a shame. It cost me almost $1000 to have Sabi spayed and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I spend ridiculous money on vet bills. If your friend has financial difficulties perhaps you could suggest she start a savings fund for the next dog.
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