|Barked: Sat Feb 11, '12 11:43am PST |
|Only one person in my entire neighborhood knows the truth behind Mikey's passing. That neighbor was one of Mikey's favorite and she absolutely "got" Mikey and I felt that she deserved to hear the truth about it all. I asked that she not tell anyone else and she's held tight to that. She could not have been more comforting and understanding. She is a good person.
No one else knows and I started telling "the lie" about Mikey's passing and I'm feeling like such a fraud for it.
The reason I lie is that everyone who knew Mikey absolutely loved him. Even with his dog aggression flaw, people in my neighborhood understood it, forgave it and still loved saying hi to him and heaping loads of love and praise on him. The last thing I want is for people to think of him in such an ugly, albeit true, manner. I don't know why I'm so stuck on that, but I am.
I guess today I realized how much it's weighing me down.
There are a lot of neighbors who I haven't seen in months and months and are just now finding out about Mikey and so, almost every day I'm having to tell them "I lost Mikey in December". I usually stop at that. About 1/2 the people ask why and the other 1/2 don't.
If they ask, that's where my lie comes in. Not detailed or probably that far off, but basically I just tell them he got really, really sick.
No one needs to know and I don't owe it to anyone to tell them the truth, but I didn't realize how many times I'd have to lie and how much it would weigh me down. It's weird.
Luckily most people don't focus too long on it because they have A Moose wanting all of their attention.
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