|Barked: Wed Jun 15, '05 8:16pm PST |
|A DOG'S QUESTIONS TO GOD
Dear God, how come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell
one another? Where are their darn priorities?
Dear God, when we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the
same old story?
Dear God, excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the
cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one
named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs
love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would
be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
Dear God, if a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human is around
to hear him, does he still get his butt whacked with a newspaper?
Dear God, is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
Dear God, if we come back as humans, is that good, or bad?
Dear God, more meatballs, less spaghetti.
Dear God, when we get to the Pearly Gates, will we have to do that stupid
hand shake trick to get in?
Dear God, we dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields,
and Frisbee flight paths. What the heck do humans understand?
Dear God, are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been
howling at the moon for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the horny
beagle across the street.
Dear God, are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize to them?
Dear God, is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we
can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the accident on the
carpet thing, again?
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