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|Barked: Mon Jan 2, '06 9:19pm PST |
Hello. My name is Star. I will tell you many tough things we dogs have to go through. One, starting with food. Humans always get mad at us for begging, but what they don’t realize is they’re pork chops are much more advanced than our beneful. I mean honestly, what would they do if they had to bend their neck down and shove their face in the same old thing every single day. They have to add some pizzazz to our food. Or, add a little gravy at least. Some dogs go for a whole day because their owners forgot to buy food. FORGET TO BUY FOOD? NEVER! I’d like to show them. So, hopefully those humans have learned a lesson or two about our horrible hardship!
This one is a real problem. How many times in a day, do dogs get kicked off, beds, couches, chairs, etc? I’d like to know but the numbers don’t end! How would they feel if they had to lie on the cold ground all night? Even worse, is when we have watch THEM sleep soundly. Many dogs get injured when being pushed. Do they care? NOT A BIT! We poor animals are being abused. And to be honest, our backs hurt terribly. So, my advice to you would be to get on the sofa when the humans are out. I’d like to push them on the ground for once. Anyway, I believe the human have learned enough about this category.
Have you the faintest idea, how terrible it is when owners play pranks on you? No? Maybe I should explain one major one, when we are sick, or have a disease, human try to give us pills. In horrible ways! One way they do it is, they put the pill in peanut butter. It gets stuck in our teeth for weeks and takes the good flavor out of our dog food. Ever wonder why we go through non-eating phases? Because of the pills! I SAID they take out the flavor. For the poor unfortunate dogs who have obsessed owners, it’s a never-ending cycle. First, the dog doesn’t feel like eating one night. And big deal, maybe they don’t eat breakfast. Second, the owners freak out and buy pills to make us eat. Third, they give us peanut butter pills in our food that makes us REALLY not want to eat so they think something ELSE is going wrong. Really. Humans are clueless. I hope they learned something else, if it’s give us pills, or suffer, well…. I’d choose suffer!
Do you want to know something horrible? Humans put supposedly little CUTE outfits on dogs. Especially kids. What if the dog is a tomboy, but they make her wear a shirt that says: IM A LITTLE PRINCESS? I mean, half the time they don’t even pick the right size. Or season to wear it for that matter! I swear, they’ll make them wear an insulated jacket in 90- degree weather! People are crazy. I myself have experienced when a 7-year-old girl put me in a diaper and a bandana. I was not a pretty sight. I was furious. Not to mention humiliated. Many dogs are. I think clothes for dogs should be illegal. Don’t you?
Owners always get mad when a dog goes “potty” in the house. But hey, a dogs gotta do, what a dogs gotta do. Even if it IS in the house. People go to the bathroom whenever they feel like it. What, four times a day? We get to go only twice. Maybe once. What if we’re not feeling well. I suppose they’re going to get mad anyway. I personally have always been housebroken. Every dog has. We only go because of one of two reasons, one, we have to GO! Two, because we want to annoy them and make them clean it up! That’s definitely the good end of the deal. No matter how much trouble you get in for making the mess, the humans are the ones cleaning it up! I think that whenever a human goes to the bathroom, they should let us go to! I hope they’ve learned a valuable lesson.
Oh boy, I can’t TELL you how many times I’ve been busted for chewing things up in the house. It really is something that most dogs outgrow but do you know why we do it? Because we’re bored. Duh! If an owner never buys the dog any good toys, what are they suppose to chew on, their foot? I’ve actually SEEN dogs chewing their foot. Yes. That’s how desperate some dogs are. Humans just don’t understand. We dogs always complain about being bored. They don’t know the half of it. They have things in their rooms to play with. We have our tail. See the difference. PEOPLE ARE SO UNFAIR!
This category may be short but it’s a big problem! Human get terribly angry when a dog rolls in a mud puddle or steps in it. Do they even realize why we do it? TO COOL OFF! They can drink ice-cold water. We can’t. They can take off layers. We can’t. They can do everything we can’t! Besides, it’s fun. A great pastime and it’s better than chewing. Right? Also, humans get mad when we track it all over the house. Well to bad for them! It’s fun. And human pick ugly colored flooring sometimes. So, we make it a brown color. It really is devastating when they clean it and make it ugly again.
THIS one is sad. A dog does something bad like, GOES, rolls in mud, or chews, so they kick us out for the night! Honestly! They’ll wake up, grab us by the collar, and put us in the yard. I have been kicked out plenty of times. Once a bear even came in the yard. That’s dangerous! Some owners. Making us be a snack while they lie in their cozy beds! I’d like to kick them out and see what they think!
Oh no! The vet. Such a terrible TERRIBLE place. To think a human would really create such a place! Pets so often go into the vet. It has to be the quietest and scariest place I have ever been to. What do humans think poking us with needles is fun? A pastime? HA! They are the ones who need to go to the vet. They need a new brain! They’re crazy! Taking us to the VET! I can’t imagine. Humans can be so cruel!
This one is no joke. Many dogs go to the pound every day all over the world. Think about it, cold ground, gross food. And might I add, a whole lot of howling! I, luckily was only there as a pup. But I can tell you, it isn’t pretty! What could humans be thinking, taking cute little dogs like me to such an UN-cute place like THAT? This is the worst thing to do to a dog. It’s disgusting. Besides, that’s not the main thing. It’s those popular dogs. They are so annoying! Anyway, I must warn you to be on your best behavior if your owners are mad because if you aren’t, you could end up in a very very VERY bad place!
Eww! Baths. YUCK! What kind of insane psychopath would make us take a bath? I’ll tell you who. Humans. They obviously don’t know how horrible a bath is. The freezing cold hose splashing against our fur. Then they put this horrible smelling soapy stuff on us. It smells like orange, GROSS! Some dogs like it. I’d say about, 2%! Humans are wackos. A bath. That could get us sick. Yeah that’s right, think about how guilty they’d be if it got us sick. Baths really make me wish I had rabies. Just for the heck of it! Humans deserve to be splashed with a hose…in just a bathing suit. Then how’d they feel? BAD! Dogs should go on strike. No more cleanliness.
Problem number 10 is all the problems put together. When you read just one sad hardship of our dog lives, it’s not that bad. But when you put them all together, it makes our life way tougher then any HUMAN! I hope you enjoyed my book about our life. And I hope you humans learned a lot to!
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