|Tiller- (Skansen's- Ira in the M|
I DO Exist...To- Drive You Batty
|Barked: Tue Jan 1, '13 2:00pm PST |
|A non believer in the context that you were sure she would develop fear aggression. That's just not so. Regarding the euthanasia comment, no one rightfully could be mad at you for something you didn't DO , but it was the mere concept...that she had this bad attack, now was frightful, so that's about it for her and her future.
You post here enough where I know you to have good knowledge. This has thrown me for a whirl and leads me with no other conclusions than you put too great a weight on the fear imprint....which isn't something I ever thought I would hear myself (to anyone), as I always stress it. But it is not some life sentence, should the puppy endure a catastrophic event at that time.
There is really NOTHING, in my experience, that would ruin a puppy. Only indifference, or believing that they are beyond helping.
A year ago or so, I fostered a litter from age five days old. It is still a guilt thing for me that one pup was the whiner, the little drama prince. And the screamer. Oh my dear word would he holler and holler...like blood screaming yells. Skittish during his handling. Over time, however, my radar went up. He was avoiding his littermates more than normal. And then after a growth spurt it occurred to me that he had an odd carriage.
This puppy was wall eyed. Now I am about to say something very disturbing and I apologize, but I was in mental health years ago, and one of the people there used to be a child cruelty investigator. I had talked to her about how do you really know, with little babies? And she said babies who are suffering abuse are wall eyed. They don't know when the hits are coming, so you just keeps those eyes held open as wide as you can. It's not much, but it's the one way you can feel any control of your world. That's what this puppy reminded me of. Very wall eyed. When I took him into the vet, by now very concerned, before she laid a hand on him, just seeing him and his wall eyes from a distance of way, she exclaimed in fright, "what on earth?!"
He was loose and malformed in the atlantoaxial region, where the neck will link with the head. Obviously the weight bearing region, so intensely painful. This little man had been living, effectively, in a torture chamber Every time his littermates, or I, tried to play with him, would come searing pain. He'd holler, which would excite them, and they'd get aroused and come at him harder. This is all he knew. Day in and day out. That's why he didn't want to play....feared it, with shrieks of terror if he anticipated it in any way.
Maybe he will teach you something here. I removed him from his litter and put him in a crate on my daybed. Just so he could come to some sort of peace that he could control his universe, which he hadn't been able to do. Here he is, and what I love about this video is that you can see his conflict....drawn to his crate as safe, a little bit touch apprehensive. But as just a baby, still full of a desire to learn and explore life. Even in experiences that had severely traumatized him and brought him nothing but intensely painful suffering, again and again and again. With some patience, he was still drawn in. And conquered his demons.
Not only was all that experience something he left behind, but he was in time trotting around my horse like a cocky little beetle trying to incite TILLER into play. The two were extremely fond of each other, and as he grew came to be extremely playful with all dogs and people. The first in on a scene, no apprehension. This despite an extended time of searing pain, intimidation, being totally frightful and overwhelmed. But he was still a little puppy, with so much room in the time ahead to learn, explore and adapt.
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