Approach-First-Ask-Later(If Ever) People and Kids.

This is a place to gain some understanding of dog behavior and to assist people in training their dogs and dealing with common behavior problems, regardless of the method(s) used. This can cover the spectrum from non-aversive to traditional methods of dog training. There are many ways to train a dog. Please avoid aggressive responses, and counter ideas and opinions with which you don't agree with friendly and helpful advice. Please refrain from submitting posts that promote off-topic discussions. Keep in mind that you may be receiving advice from other dog owners and lovers... not professionals. If you have a major problem, always seek the advice of a trainer or behaviorist!

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Shiver Me- Timbers- "Charlie"

My Little Dog, a- heartbeat at my- feet.<3
Barked: Sun Oct 14, '12 9:02pm PST 

Not much irks me more, than people that intrude upon my personal space.. But there's one that does get to me every single time.

Approach-First-Ask-Later People and Kids.

These people can appear out of nowhere, or can be seen, goggling at your fuzzy pet, harassing their company about that cute 'puppy wuppy' over by you, or making a beeline straight for you without one word to you to ask if they can approach or if your pet is friendly. What's worse, is those who approach without asking permission AND try to take over training with your dog. Yes. I have had someone do the infamous CM 'hand bite' and "Tscht" to my dog because he was pulling and I was working on his leash manners 'wrong'. Luckily, it was Charlie and not one of the dogs I've rehabilitated, or he would have likely gotten bit. Instead, my dog shook it off and took it with a grain of salt. I, however, did not appreciate this man touching my dog.

Anyway... Am I a b&^*$ when it comes to my dogs? If anyone(adult or child) does not ask first before approaching my dogs to pet them, I immediately position myself between my dogs and said person, and ask them politely to "Please leave my dog alone." If asked, I will almost always say "Yes" assuming my dogs are okay to say hello(if Charlie has just had a seizure, I'll likely ask them to give him space instead as excitement and/or stress can trigger it for him). No matter the age of the person, extremely young, old or in between, I am like this.

I've had HOARDS of children(6+ group of girls) approach Ria at eight weeks old and frighten and overwhelm her when they surrounded me on my own doorstep and didn't ask. I did not allow them to touch my cowering puppy, but instead told them, "Next time, please ask if you're going to approach a strange dog. You never know if they're friendly or not" and while yes, it was obvious Ria was a tiny baby and likely wouldn't harm anyone, Charlie was with me as well. The girls got a polite education, and next time, got to pet my dogs when they asked.

I've had it up to my ears with people who do this. And the ages never change - although the majority is children, of course.

What happened to our parents teaching us, "Ask first?" I was taught, diligently, as a child, that not only was it RUDE, but also DANGEROUS to approach a strange dog without asking permission of the owner first. I have had ONE child in the past several YEARS, ask to pet my dogs, out of hundreds. I've had more adults ask, and that was when I took my dog on city transit. Why are people more polite on city transit, I'll never know - I wouldn't take an unfriendly dog on city transit!

Anyway.... Anybody else have issues with these kinds of people?

I no longer allow anyone to pet my dogs unless they ask permission first and make a point of educating children to do so before approaching.

I've done the same with people and their dogs. They make a beeline for my cute Beagle, or my adorable Lab puppy with their dog, or they drop their dogs leash and it's irritating because I've done everything I can to ensure controlled, safe interactions between my leash reactive dog, and my puppy who is learning that there's nothing to be afraid of.

When will people understand that just like people, some dogs like having their space respected too? I admit, part of it is that I prefer my personal space too... But who else will advocate for my dogs?

Let's play tug!!
Barked: Sun Oct 14, '12 10:22pm PST 
Okay, if someone walked over and "Tscht"-ed my dog, they would be lucky if I didn't bite them myself. They would certainly get very loud "Sir, please take your hands off my dog." Some people are just incredible. I recently had to contain myself from dissolving into laughter as I used the sentence "Sir, I understand that you strongly believe I should be receiving higher internet speeds- don't interrupt me please. Unfortunately, I am more interested in the ones I am ACTUALLY receiving." It made me think of this article

I think everyone has to decide for themselves, and it certainly depends on the dog and whether it is going to upset him. I have to stop myself from screaming at people who ride their bikes 6 inches from Smokey. I am a little more tolerant of kids, because I think they just don't know any better. If a kid runs up, I will just say something like, try petting his side instead of his head. That's a little scary to him.

Barked: Sun Oct 14, '12 10:50pm PST 
Guy approaches talking loudly and attempts to pet my obviously frightened dog who is now hiding behind me. "What are you trying to do, get yourself bit?" I say to the guy, who responds angrily: "If your dog is aggressive, then why is he out in public where he can hurt someone?" To which I reply: "Oh, I wasn't talking about the dog." Then flash him a toothy grin and point to the hat that says, surrounded by shark teeth: "I bite."

Yeah, I hate these people as well. They probably don't know any better, but I've had it with attempting to be nice. You either ask, or I snap at you to bugger off quick. Granted, even if you ask I'm probably gonna say no since my dog almost always wants nothing to do with you, and especially your kid, but I'll be a heckova lot nicer if you do ask. Which is the smart thing to do.

People who attempt to "train" my dog for me get a lot of nasty words screamed at them, along with me "training" them right back and asking how they like it. I just don't put up with it, period. My dog my rules, you don't follow them, you'd better leave me and my steel-toed boots alone.

Edited by author Sun Oct 14, '12 10:51pm PST


Jackson Tan

Lad about town
Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 3:11am PST 
I actually had to stop toddler grabbing JT once. I caught her wrist and said 'no!' really sharply. The mother looked over with mild interest but then went back to her conversation. Sigh.

Another time a kid ran over and hit him in the face with her flip flop! Guh? Again, the mother did nothing.

Worst thing was when a guy in the park slapped him so hard on the rump he screamed. He was trying to make him sit. silenced
Princesse- Lily CGN

I am RoyalChi!
Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 4:05am PST 
Thankfully , around here, most people and children are smart enough to ask first. However, there have been a few times that I have had to stop people in their tracks by yelling or saying loudly, "She's not that friendly " ( I only have to say that to women and children, Princesse loves menshrug )

One time a child was rushing towards here, yelling " Does she bite?" My "Actually, she might" stopped her in her tracks laugh out loud
Kali earned- her wings- 10/21/14

She's game for- anything that's- fun.
Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 4:24am PST 
When the parents don't have the smarts to "ask first", the children certainly won't. I have the same problem. Jax used let out a nice mean growl. Which, "DUH" would surprise them. You think? What did they think her reaction would be? Walking up to a large strange dog? Kali is friendly, but people are afraid of her looks. They just assume she's mean. Koby is out of control, so, when I walked him, people would walk on the other side of the street, when they saw us.

Whippy- The- Whipador
Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 5:35am PST 
This is something i'm thankful has never happened to me. I wouldn't like really young kids just running up and petting Tyler ( he's a little worried about young children ) but so far, kids have always asked. Thankfully my two are good with people so it's not something that i threat about to much but i can only imagine how hard it would be with scared or aggressive dogs!

Edited by author Mon Oct 15, '12 5:36am PST


Crazy Ball'O Fur
Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 8:22am PST 
Personally I've whittled this down to so many parents not being responsible enough to have kids these days. If the parent is not responsible, their kid will be the same, which has started a cycle. I've had a lot of problems with this. Since Bella is reactive, I've been working with her on not pulling to get to people/animals. We've yet to pass that stage and get to not being hyper when people try and pet her, so I've not been letting people do that. However that's hard to do when a group of kids just runs up saying "Ohhhhh Puppy!!!!!" and is suddenly grabbing her leash yanking on her saying "Let's go for a walk" and petting her like crazy.

Herpaderp-apotam- us
Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 10:23am PST 
If kids come running up to Noah without asking, I put him behind me and tell them to never approach strange dogs because they may get bitten. Of course I don't mention that I am more likely to bite them than Noah shh

This happens to me way more often than I should, but I guess that's what I get for having such a handsome boy. I don't like kids, at all, but Noah does so if they approach nicely and ask first, of course I will allow them to come say hi. But I've had some kids run up and really smack Noah on the head trying to "pet" him. I have been really harsh with parents who let their kids just run up to strange people and strange dogs.

I worked as a dog walker for several years and I had many clients who had dogs that were not friendly with kids or other dogs but people constantly let their kids and dogs come charging up to us without asking. Sometimes it seems like people with dogs are worse than kids when it comes to approaching without asking.

What really frustrates me is that I know if by some chance Noah did nip at one of them, I would get yelled at for having a "vicious dog."
Savannah Blue Belle

A Heart of Gold!
Barked: Mon Oct 15, '12 10:35am PST 
I've told the story in these forums before about the little boy jumping on my previous lab while we were waiting in line...She did jump up and roar at him, and so he must have badly startled/hurt her because she was usually very mellow.

His father did scold him and warn him to ask first...

I don't want to hijack the thread, but had a situation the other day that might relate. I was at the vet with Samoa who is wonderfully friendly and mellow. We were waiting when a woman came in with a large dog, somewhat larger than Samoa. The dog was pulling towards us and I let Samoa go to the end of his leash to greet. The woman (without reeling her dog back) snarls...please don't let your dog over here...and then proceeds to talk to the receptionist while her dog continues to pull towards Samoa who was sitting next to me by that time.

Later, the vet tech told me the dog was "aggressive." So that is why the woman didn't want Samoa to come over...Who was at fault there...Her or me. I guess I assumed since she didn't reel her dog in that she didn't mind being approached.

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