Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News...

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August 26th 2009 4:40 pm
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AH-CHOO

Okay, that sneeze was a fake, but Momma tramped me off to the vet today. I was not feeling well the last couple days. I've been leaving really messy masses for Momma to clean up when she got home. I even let some go when I was sleeping and I vomited a couple times-just yucky yellow fluids but still a matter for concern.

Momma and Pops were really angry when they came home and saw an oowie-gooey pile on the couch. I wish I had thumbs so I could have cleaned up that one before they got home to see it. I felt real bad about it because I was just sleeping on the couch when I made that accident even though my folks knew they couldn't yell at me because I was sick and didn't do it on purpose. I still had to stay in my crate the next time they went to work after that incident. Hence, the vet visit today.

We went to a different veterinary clinic today from usual. We usually go to the Animal Welfare Clinic in Chicago Ridge, but when you go there you have to literally wait hours to be seen. Momma didn't want to do that today, so we drove approx 30 min to Animal Medical Center of Orland Park. We didn't have to wait at all. It was amazing.

Guess how much I weigh...com'on guess!

Nope...try again.
Nuh-uh.
No, but you're close. Okay I'll just tell you. I weigh the same as Momma weighs. 110lbs! Don't tell her I told you. She is kinda funny about her weight. She is petite and thinks she should weigh more...is that normal reaction for people?

I weighed 98.2 pounds last time I was at the vet...I believe. That means in 4 months give or take I have gained 11.8 lbs. Maybe I should lay off the munching of household objects between meals. It's catching up with me.

Anyway, Doc stuck two things up my butt while I was there. I didn't say anything but it was uncomfortable the first time for the fecal test so I made faces at her. The second time I tried to sit down on the thermometer and realized it wasn't only going to make her job harder so I lay down instead so the Doc had to get all the way down on her knees to finish the procedure. Oh, yeah, and I kept staring at her the whole time. Hopefully I made her uncomfortable as well...people don't usually like to be stared down. Eventually I guess it worked because she pulled it out and walked a few steps away.

The doctor cleaned my ears and asked me if I was growing potatoes in there...I didn't get it. She had to use 16 cotton balls and go way in deep. I am kind of used to this treatment because lately Momma's had to use a wash rag and put ear cleaner on it and dig for gold...in my case she only finds dirt. The doctor went in farther than Momma goes and I did some moaning. The doctor said, "Shut up or I'll give you something to whine about!"

I'm just barking up your collar, but you fell for it. You were about to call BBB or animal cruelty or some such nonsensical place...the doctor did say something but all I heard was mumbling because my ears were so clogged up and she had what felt like her entire arm jammed up my other ear.

When the feces test came back negative for parasites and the ear wax test came up positive for excess yeast the doctor came in with an antidote. She gave Momma a bottle of 500mg pills of Flagyl for the yeast and the most expensive ear drops you've ever seen called Mometamax. Doc Handke said the pills should get rid of the ranky smell as well...did I mention I am the smelly kid in class? Not that I like to brag or nothin'.

I took the pills like a champ. Momma put the first one all the way in the back of my mouth and closed my mouth. She rubbed my throat but it wasn't necessary the pill was already down the shoot. The second one took two tries-Momma's fault not mine. She didn't put it near the back of the tongue she put it closer to my teeth on the left side of my mouth so I put it on the kitchen floor. Next attempt was just as successful as the first time. For all my crazy antics and bad qualities I really am a superior specimen where tolerance is concerned.

The Doc put me on a special diet that I just love. Momma made the mix for me this evening when we got back. It is beef (chicken or turkey) with white or brown rice. Yum. Doc says it's bland but it's way better than kibble. Ruby got some too because Momma didn't want any feelings hurt. The Doc said Momma can throw in some Pumpkin or Sweet Potatoes to harden me up too. I hope I never get better; I'm eating like a King. I am supposed to eat this and nothing else in 3 small portions daily for a week after a week I can have some kibble mixed back in.

Doin' what the Doctor ordered,
Dewey