November 15th 2005 1:03 pm
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I need a little help from all my dog buds…how do you keep your humans from leaving you for a long time? Mom and Dad tricked us. They left after putting all their clothes in some bags and putting them in the car. Me ‘n’ Max laid down to sleep while we thought they were out slaving for our greenies. We woke up at night and went to stand at the garage door but they never came home. The nerve! Instead, this girl named Lynn came and she brought some clothes of hers. We knocked her down running to see if Mom and Dad were behind her. She said “Scout & Max, you will be having me serve your every want and need for a few days. Is there anything you would like for me to do?” Now how much barking does it take for the message “leave!” to be transmitted?

In all fairness, she was rather nice and tried to get us to sleep with her at bedtime. We got to go outside to pee, got our food and wait, it gets better… walks 2x a day!! Mom sometimes doesn’t want to walk us so we are lucky if we get walks everyday. She tells Dad she is just avoiding being dragged down the sidewalk and hurting her other knee. This Lynn gal brought these sticks with her and would bang them together. She called it fiber art. What is that? Why would you do that if you could be licking yourself instead? She told us all about her boyfriend and how they would go parking. Oops.. guess her secret is out! You try holding your pee all day and then submitting as a furry mannequin at night. I do not do soap operas, knitting or modeling --- I hunt wild prey, my true calling… Not having doggy sweaters put on me. Max, he was a total wuss. He loved it so much that I’m thinking about entering him in a contest called “The Dog”. I think he’ll be in his glory with all that fairy dust after they put the crown on his itty bitty ears. I told him just bring back all the food that you win and if you please, our Mom and Dad.