Confessions of a Barkaholic

Advices and Stuffs

February 6th 2013 10:13 pm
[ View A Comments (7) ]

Dear Whitley,

We have had snow, ice and below freezing temperatures. Now it is warming up a bit (in the low 20"s) and the weather forecast is for rain followed bt more snow. How am I supposed to find a perfect spot to do my "business" at if the earth is all muddy? I don't want to get my pretty feets all dirty.

Coco Rose doing the pee-pee dance

I are familiar with dat kinda bad weather having lived in Boston with my momma while we attended da Hahvahd School of Law and Barkings and Freezing Your Cute LWD Booty Off. Oh momma, dat are not what it are called?? Well, it should be! Like you, I don't not likes getting my feetses all dirty. So you has quite da dilemma. I suggest dat you might invite NotMe to come visit you. Dat NotMe pup seems to take care of dat problem. And since you has got another dog in da family, da humans can not be blaming you one hundred percent for any "accidents." Den your pretty lil feetses will keep on being pretty.

Whitley.

All this silliness aside, I have a serious inquiry for you. I believe you being the Terriertoriale you are would have the best advise. Pillows. I only ask for 1 in the house and that is the one next to Mom's on the bed. I'm extremely vocal about my pawsonal space on MY pillow. How can I convince Mom that all other dogs should be banished from the bed? Barring that, the fact they should all allow me pawsonal space! I hate the touch of a "common" dog.

~Misty~ Queen of all I Survey (beholden to a sleeping human who thinks a little growl is worse than...errmmmm gotta run).

I know all about dis because I got my terriertory on da bed - a certain corner of da foot of da bed. No matter how hard momma tries to get me to sleep up near her, I sleeps there. Lemme think. Hmm, I take it by your signature dat growling are not da answer, which are hard since growling are so effective. It really are da bestest solution for most of life's problems, besides barking. So I'm gonna suggestive you use your other end - dat are release some poison gas stink bombs. When I was a little puppy, my momma nicknamed me Baby Saddam for my habit of dropping poison gas bombs. As in "Stop treating me like a Kurd and trying to gas me to death Baby Saddam." Yeah, my momma thinks she are funny. Anyways, unleash a few poison gas bombs and maybe da other dogs will get da hint. And they'll probably split because of da overpowering stink smell. Dat should give you your pawsonal space.

 
Barked by: Pepper - CGC (Dogster Member)

February 7th 2013 at 5:40 am

Wise woofs, as always, Whitley!
Barked by: MrJackFreckles~SirLick-a-Lot (Dogster Member)

February 7th 2013 at 8:41 am

Your 'Whitsdom' makes fur good BOL's!!
Barked by: Misty (Psst on the right) (Dogster Member)

February 7th 2013 at 8:05 pm

Errmmm, I didn't read the directions all the way through. I saw "use the other end" and immediately peed on Mom's side of the bed last night right before she came to bed. I think Coco Rose's pee pee dance got in the way, or at least that's what I tried to tell Mom. Was that the right tactic?
Barked by: ✨ Whitley ✨ (Dogster Member)

February 7th 2013 at 9:04 pm

OMD, no! Dat are da wrong tactic, I tried dat as a puppy and didn't get to get back up in da bed to sleep for monthses or yearses or something! Use da gas bombs, not da pee!
Barked by: Coco Rose (Dogster Member)

February 8th 2013 at 7:57 am

Wise Whitley thank you for the advise.

Misty I thought you were going to say you pooped in the bed - either way, I seem to think it was very effective but if your stink bombs are anything like Puffy's they too should do the trick without getting you in trouble - HeHeHe
Barked by: ✨ Finley ✨ (Dogster Member)

February 8th 2013 at 7:23 pm

Pee on da big bed?? Dat are da big no no of no noes!! Dat will get a pup landed in da hoosegow fur sure!!
Barked by: Amazing Grace (Dogster Member)

February 12th 2013 at 2:10 pm

Always pawsome useful advice..... Love it! Condogs on your DDP!
kisses and hugs,mazy

 

✨ Whitley ✨


 

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