Confessions of a Barkaholic

Advice Barkings

December 13th 2012 9:49 pm
[ View A Comments (8) ]

So dis are probably gonna be my lastest advice column because I are pretty much all outta questions. If you pupses want it to keep going, sends me questions, otherwise, well I'll just go sob and whine or somethin. I know I are not exactly no Dear Abby or whatevers, but I trieded.

So, here goes . . .

Whitley da Wise,
I gots a question fur ya.... What's with dis sharin' thing I keeps hearin' about? Like I should share da momma, share da toys, share my Chrissymus cards. I's not used to sharin'... Zaidie sez sharin' is fur sissies....

Well, I's a Texan and everyfur knows us Texans ain't sissies....

Whut's a pup to do?

signed,
Lone Star Nonsissy

Dear Nonsissy,
I don't know what are with all dis sharin talk. HunBun are right, sharin are for sissies. I's kinda a Texan too (even dough my momma says I don't count since I was born in Oklahoma). But us Oklahomans ain't no sharin sissies either. Da only kinda sharin I think are any good are momma sharin her foods with me, and by sharin, I mean her givin me as much as I want. I don't approve of sharin toys, after all, all da toys are mine. And I don't approve of sharin mommas, both da mommas are mine, after all, I was here first. And sharin Christmas cards??? Well, dat are just ridiculumous. So, we's gotta bark a lot bouts how we ain't no sharin sissies. Den maybe everypup will get da idea.


p.s. Ya gots any ideers how's I can get your Momma to quit waterboardin' me so often?

signed,
Drowning in Texas

Hmmm, maybe you could stop stinkin so much, I heard da mommas sayin you was smelly. And stop da scratchin and chewin, dat seems to get dere attention. Hmmm, maybe I needs to start stinkin and scratchin and chewin so I can get baths more often. I luvs da baths and I only get one a week. It are not fair.

 
Barked by: MrJackFreckles~SirLick-a-Lot (Dogster Member)

December 13th 2012 at 10:09 pm

Great woofs of dogvice!

Maybe the pups and their peeps are so busy with Christmas, they furget to wonder about things to ask you, Wise Whitley!

I has a question, though: Why on earth would growlmy get so annoyed when I try to help her by doing some litterbox cleaning work?? Growlmy wonders if this is 'normal'...?
Barked by: ❀ Finley ❀ (Dogster Member)

December 13th 2012 at 10:25 pm

Maybe ya isn't gettin' enuff dog chow... just sayin'...
Barked by: Pepper (Psst - on the left) (Dogster Member)

December 13th 2012 at 11:09 pm

Dear Mz. Wise.

Some would call me a bossy paws. I consider it making sure I know what is going on in my house. I've been told this is annoying, but I just can't seem to help being a busybody.

How do I let everyone know I'm just looking out for the safety of the whole house?

Pepper Power Out.
Barked by: Misty (Psst on the right) (Dogster Member)

December 13th 2012 at 11:12 pm

Whitley the Wise
How do I convince Mom to get rid of that dog that just asked you the last question?

Queen of All I Survey (but not chief decision maker).
Barked by: Cleo (Dogster Member)

December 14th 2012 at 12:51 am

Dear Whitley,

I have another one for you! Why do all our hooman peeples go all mushy this time of year? 'specially making' us pupsies wear stoopid hats and other such nonsense? Is it the weather or sumfin?
Barked by: Amazing Grace (Dogster Member)

December 14th 2012 at 7:04 am

Always Pawsome Advice....
Miss Whit The Wise- We need your advice...especially us younger pups who have other pup house to compare too...

I mean most these rural pups around here don't have toys,sweaters,treats or nothin'.......No wonder everyone
thinks I'm a Princess.....

There was even 2 smooth hair doxies like me....rescued and put in foster homes up here. Can you imagine making them stay outside all the time????????? It's COLD up here! Some so called hoomans have no SENSE at all! Those kind of hoomans I'd like to Nip in the butt! That would get their attention!kisses,mazy
Barked by: Demon Flash Bandit (Dogster Member)

December 14th 2012 at 10:49 am

I would hate to see you give up on the advice. I started a group for dogs who needed my advice a couple of years ago, and I got even fewer questions. My assumption is that us dogs are so wise that we don't need much advice. However, the humans, as Amazing Grace pointed out, are idiots who need lots of advice. Maybe the dogs could send you questions from their humans. Maybe some of the humans might even be smart enough to understand the answers.LOL
Barked by: Zaidie (Dogster Member)

December 15th 2012 at 9:44 am

Whitwey! Du nod gibe up, sweet gurl!! Mabbe jus' take a bwake ober da howldays! Den when da nu yeer r heer, an' all us pupses r makin' an' bwakin' our nu yeerz wesowushuns, we can come tu yu wif quesshuns an' pwobwems an' junk :D

An' DFB r wite - mabbe us pupses cood send yu quesshuns fwum our peepoles, if we r nod able tu helb dem ourselbes :D My answer tu my Momma r always da same :"It r time fur a Bodka Dwip™, Momma. Hold yur arm still, pweeze.."

 

❀ Whitley ❀


 

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