Confessions of a Barkaholic

Da Weekly Advice Column

September 19th 2012 8:12 pm
[ View A Comments (9) ]

So I told you pupses how I are starting an advice column, right?? So keep da questions coming and I'll be trying to answer some every week!

Dear Mz Whit, bein a barkaholic kinda pup too, what can I do to be more quiet like? I am always gettin hollered at to stop barkin.
It just don't work.
Thank you for your help.
Barkin in Idunno

Now, you says you's a barkaholic kinda pup. Well, I think you shouldn't be doing nothing to change yourself. You is wonderful just the way you is, especially if dat way is permanently set at maximum volume. I get hollered at to be more quiet like too, well mostly it are "shut up Whitley" and "shut the #@%! Whitley" and "for the love of God, shut the #@%! up Whitley." But barkin' are just a part of who I is, and I don't let nobody change dat. Today, I barked on my walk, barked at da other dog at da vet, barked at peoples going in and out of rooms, barked at roofers, barked at all kindsa other stuff too. So I say barkum diem, which are kinda like dat whole carpe diem thing, except it means "bark da day!"

Ok, on to da second question.

Whitley, I has a question.... why duz you love da kitties so much?

Why does I luvs kitties? Hmm, dey are soft and snuggly and good for warming up to in winter. They's also fun to play with. And dey have tasty cat food dat sometimes I get to lick up when dey leave a little bit in their kitty bowlses. And sometimes, dey knock da treatses to da ground for you, especially if dey are named Maurice. And dat kinda help are always useful! BOL! And dey are just sweet and I luvs em!

Don't worry if I didn't get to your question dis time, I'll be answering some more next week. So ask some more and I'll try to help!

 
Barked by: MrJackFreckles~SirLick-a-Lot (Dogster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 8:57 pm

I love to dig me some holes...why do the peeps not like that??

They say they are gonna get a concrete walk put in. Will that make it harder to dig?
Barked by: Missy (Dogster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 9:23 pm

Totally pawesome advice Whitley.
Barked by: ❀ Finley ❀ (Dogster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 11:43 pm

You barked dat dog at da vet even though it sniffed my butt!! and I had already barked dat Gordon Setter!! Da nerve of dat dude!! How rude!

And the sky-- ya barked the sky, too! BOL! and for fortune cookies!!

Heck, ya bark most everythin'!!
Barked by: Petey (Dogster Member)

September 20th 2012 at 3:04 am

great advice thank you!
Barked by: Zoe (Dogster Member)

September 20th 2012 at 4:05 am

Great advice! I feel so much better about BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK
wait, what was I barkin 'bout?
Barked by: Duncan Fife (Dogster Member)

September 20th 2012 at 5:01 am

This is a wonderfur service. I too am a barkaholic. But I just still don't get the kitty thing.
Barked by: Pepper - CGC (Dogster Member)

September 20th 2012 at 5:44 am

Wise Whitley! Way to woof!
Barked by: Demon Flash Bandit (Dogster Member)

September 20th 2012 at 7:55 am

Your advice is excellent. A dog is supposed to bark--it is our job. If the humans don't want to hear the barking, they should be wearing ear plugs. I will bark for fortune cookies...they are delicious!!!
Barked by: Riley (Dogster Member)

September 20th 2012 at 3:33 pm

I love this column. You're so insightful.

I'm going to have to think of something to ask.

 

❀ Whitley ❀


 

Family Pets


Jezebel DG 29

Charlie DB112

Subscribe

(What does RSS do?)