March 27th 2013 3:09 pm
[ View A Comments (3) ]
Hello friends sorry we are not around much anymore, Mom seems to always have other things going on or she is on catster...sorry dogs there is more going on there...
Well we have to let you know that the last 3+ years my Mom has been helping to take care of her Mom, my grandma. She got Lewy Body dementia, she was in a board and care home being taken care of for the most part, but Mom was always having to check on her, get her the monthly supplies her Mom needed and taking her to her Dr. appts. all along still keeping up with her dog walking and pet sitting business, take care of all of us including her Moms mean cat (I don't like her)....with no family help at all.
On March 8th she got a call to let her know her Mom was running a fever, Saturday they called again late day telling Mom that she needed to take Mom to the Drs. so Mom has to go take care of kitties one needing medication. Then go get her Mom and take her to the Dr....little did she know that her Mom wasn't doing well at all...Grandma was unable to communicate and didn't recognize my Mom anymore...hasn't for some time now
Well the Dr. decided that with the condition her Mom was in she needed to go to the ER by ambulance...Mom didn't go because she needed to go home eat and take care of all of us. They called Mom to let her know that my Grandma had a UTI, still running a fever so they decided to keep her to observe her and try to get the fever down.
Mom went the next day to see her Mom, talk to the doctors and nurses...her Mom was sedated, hadn't eaten or drank anything for at least 3 days...she didn't eaten much before that. They had a case manager come talk to Mom, she really listen to Mom and her concerns about going back to the board and care home, she told the lady that they have been complaining about her Mom because she was getting too difficult for them to take care of...she would cry out every time someone touched her, was very stiff and not eating or drinking much. So the case manager decided to have the hospice nurse evaluate my grandma and talk to Mom. So the next day Mom was back at the hospital met with the hospice nurse and they decided since she wasn't responding, not eating or drinking, the fever wasn't coming down and her decline it would be best to get her into a hospice home until she passed away. Grandma had the DNR so nothing would be done anymore.
Mom had to drive out to the home to sign the papers so grandma could go there, mom was so sad and cried. It was very difficult to do this, but Mom knew it was for the best. So later that day grandma arrived, they kept her comfortable, sedated and just let the process of her getting ready to leave earth happen. Mom, her daughters and some of the family came to see her and say their good byes, it was just a matter of time.This was so hard and difficult to watch for Mom.
On the 16th of March Mom got the call at 5:35am to let her know grandma peacefully passed away. Mom has been grieving for her Mom for a while now, the mom she knew has been gone for a while now and Mom knew the decline has been coming for a long time now. So even though Mom is very upset, has cried she hasn't cried since her Mom left earth only a little.
Mom has been dealing with all of this from the start alone, no family helped in her moms care, so now Mom will have her very own private memorial and scatter her ashes. The family will have their own, Mom just can't be there knowing that none of them came to see my grandma while she was sick only at the end...Mom is afraid she will say something that will hurt others, so it is best this way...she knows her Mom would agree with her decision and will always love my Mom for her devotion and love even in the end...
The last time Mom was with grandma to say her final good bye she held her Moms hand caressing it and talking to her, all of a sudden her Mom squeezed Moms hand...this was her way of saying she knew Mom was there, she was saying good bye too and thanking her for what she alone had done for her...
So this is what happened and now me and my family have to learn to live without the one person that was always there for us....
Thank you for reading my diary...with a sad heart we must close and grieve now..Mom realized more than ever just how short life really is...tomorrow Mom goes to get her ashes, Mom knows that this is when she will cry because it will make all of this final...Mom got the cutest keepsake urn to keep just a little of her Moms ashes so she will always be near...
Hugs and love
Mia and Mom
What sadness in your family, Mia.
Growlmy went through some similar scenarios with her parents, too.
She sees and helps with peeps like your Grandma, too.
Hospice is such a wonderful resource and support at these times.
Growlmy's face windows are all wet, each soul who goes through these oh so hard things makes her feel grief, too. Even at her work, they all are so special to her. (The hardest thing to her, is losing long term residents who she got close to...)
Growlmy and I send our sympathy and comforting hugs, big ones.
((((( ♥ )))))
I am sorry for your loss
Please accept our sympathy and condolences
hugs from all of us
Sending your momma lotsa big hugs.