October 21st 2012 9:19 am
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I kno' whut all ob yu r finkin. Yu r sittin' in yur howses, dwinkin' cawfee an' eatin' yur Sunday mornin' pile ob bacon, catchin' up on all da Dogster nues an' yu see dat dere r a diawy entwy fwum me, Zaidie.
Yu fink,"Whu dis guy r? Zaidie?? Whut kinda name dat r?" Den yu come tu yur senses. Yu wememmer dat yu du, in fak, kno' me' an' yu fink,"Zaidie/Zaidiepup/Z-Pup/Z ('cept onwy Zoe r 'llowed tu call me dat!)/Mistur Pawsum/LWD!! Yu wented on baycayshun an' we hab heered nuffin 'bout it. Whut da heck r go on???"
Pupses, I will ged tu it, I pwomise, bud in da meemtime, sumfing else camed up an' it r an OUTWAGE. My weputayshun hab beened destwoyed, WUINED, eben!
I wuz jus' weadin' da Dogster Magazine, da wifestyle sexshun. I wuz particuwarwy innerwested in da title ob one ob da wists : 10 Nottiest Dog Bweeds. I finked tu myselb,"OMD! I OWN dis wist. Dere r NO PUP nottier dan dis LWD!! Weguwar notty pups come tu me fur abbice. Dem wook up tu me, I r so notty. In fak, if yu wook up da werd,'notty' in da dikshunawy, yu see a pichur ob me, Zaidie! Dat r all yu need kno'! BOL :D"
I cwicked on da wink an', wo an' beholded, dere it wuz. Da 10 Nottiest Dog Bweeds wist :
2) Bull Tewwier
3) Jag Wussell Tewwier
6) 'Merican Pibble Tewwier
9) Engwish Bulldawg
I weaded it an' I finked,"Oh, dere must be a mistake cuz dere r no menshun ob Westies. Mabbe da wist r continued on da nexx page." Bud dere wuz no nexx page. Dat wuz da hole wist. I r nod on it an' neiber r Whitwey an' Finwey an' Jayden Noelani an' Cwicket an' Ziggy an' all da uber Dogster Westies whose names I can nod wememmer wite now cuz I r so distwot.
Go. Go, pupses an' wead it fur yurselbes. See if it r poss'ble tu wead da wist ob charactewistiks ob a notty dog wifout habbin' a image ob me, Zaidie, poppin' intu yur cute lil' head. Wascally? Impish? Willingwess tu disobey?? Dose werds hab me witten ALL OBER dem....Oh bey. I need wie down.
October 14th 2012 7:21 am
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OY BEY! We r goin' 'way 'gain, pupses! Dis time it r nod fur fun an' 'wewaxin'. It r fur da funewal ob Momma's Gwamma (Ackfuwawwy, Momma callded her 'Nan' ♥)
Anyfur, I be back in a coupla days. I weally miss messin' 'wound here on dis Dogster fing an' if I r nod careful, I r gonna wose my honurwawy memmership in Schnauzer's Wule! I hab nod beened able tu pway dere in yeers.
Mabbe I shood send ebery SR pup a memmership in da 'MEATZ™ ob da Day' Cwub, so dem kno' I r finkin' 'bout dem! Dem ged a fweezer filled wif MEATZ™ ebery day!! An' dose fweezers stack up nicewy, tu :D
We hab a bizzy day dis day, so I r gonna say 'See ya, pupses! An' take care ob yur peeples, 'kay?? Gud werk! I wuff yu ♥ ❀ ☀
October 12th 2012 8:13 am
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Momma, Dadda an' me, Zaidie, habbed a PAWSUM baycayshun! Our lil' cabin wuz cozy an' wustik (bud nod TU wustik :D). Da lil' cweek ahind it wulled us tu sweep each nite an' helbed us wake up oh-so-gentwy in da mornin'. It r twoo whut dem say : sumtimes a change r as gud as a west...or sumfing. BOL!
I habbed wotza abbenchurs an' I will wite 'bout dem soon. Dis day, doe, we r sad cuz Momma's Gwamma died wate wast nite. Hur wuz 94 which r elebenty-sebenty-seben in pup yeers. Hur habbed a PAWSUM life - borned on a small farm wifout water an' ewectwicity in da middle ob nowherez - moobin' tu da big city an' werkin' - den meetin' hur fu-chur husband when him offered hur a wide home fwum church in hims father's fancy Chwysler Imperial! Hur sed no! BOLBOLBOL :D
Anyfur, I hab beened weadin' yur diawies an' commentin' when I can. Momma r still duin' waundwy an' junk fwum our twip an' now hur r kinda sad :( I will dwop in here when I can cuz I wuff yu pupses an' I miss messin' 'wound wif yu here on dis Dogster pwace. Take care ob yur peeples, 'kay? ♥ ❀ ☀
October 8th 2012 7:32 pm
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~ LWD Facts 'Bout Baycayshuns ~
Baycayshuns r fun,
bud dem r ober tu fass.
Den yur Momma cwies.
I habbed WOTZA fun, bud it r time tu hed home. Bark wif yu lader, my fwiends ♥
October 6th 2012 7:39 pm
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"Momma! I r witin' tu my Dogster fwiends, but I hab no idea where I r! Where I r??"
"You're staying in a cozy little cabin in the woods. There's a creek out back and the sound it makes lulls all of us to sleep. There are squirrels all over the place and you have two perfect lookout spots for squirrel patrol. You've seen some sights, made some new friends and eaten some real MEATZ™"
"Yu r habbin' fun, Momma?"
"Oh, yes, Zaidie. I really, truly am."
"Yu need a Bodka Dwip™here, Momma?"
"Only the tiniest one, HunBun."
"Dat r gud, Momma. I r 'xhausted. Baycayshuns r hard werk *zzzzzzzzz*
Habby Fanksgibbin' tu all my Canadian fwiends! An' Habby Cowumbus Day tu all my 'Mer'can fwiends, tu!
October 3rd 2012 3:53 pm
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"Where are you, Zaidie?"
"I r here, Momma!"
"Where is that?"
"It r wite here, Momma!"
"Are you packed yet?"
"Almost! I just need a coupla more sootcases an' I be all weady, Momma!"
"We're only going for a few days, Zaidie. You won't need that much and I can't imagine you've packed any sweaters for yourself. What are you taking??"
"BOL :D No fweaters, Momma!! BOL! Well, I r takin' all my Cuz toys cuz I wuff dem an' all my stuffies cuz I wuff dem, tu, an' my Nina Ottoson games 'case I ged boreded an' all my tennis balls cuz a guy neber knows when him r gonna need tu pway fetch...Hey, I bwing da LWD Cwubhowse, Momma??"
"We won't have room for that, HunBun, not since you added that new wing last year. Hey, tell your friends that you're going to be away for a few days. You know how they worry if they don't hear your LWD voice."
"I know dem do. It makes my LWD hart feel gud tu kno' dat dem care 'bout me, Zaidie. I will wite a diawy entwy soon as my Cuz toys r finished in da washin' 'chine!!"
*pause* "Wait....What did you say, Zaidie???"
Hi, pupses!! It r twue! We r goin' on a lil' baycayshun! Momma founded a cute lil' cabin sumpwace an' we wented it fur a few days an' *I* ged tu go tu!! It r a pup-fwiendwy pwace an' dere r a lil' cweek wite 'hind da cabin an' da sniffin' r gonna be PAWSUM an' I r gonna make nu fwiends an' see da sites an' continue my misshun tu wid da werld ob bermin, one skwerl at a time! I heer dere r WOTZ where we r goin'!!
I will hab my waptop wif me, but I can nod guawantee I r gonna be 'wound dis Dogster pwace bery much. We be back wate nexx Toosday nite. Be gud pupses an' take care ob yur peeples, 'kay? I wuff yu!! *westie struts off to finish packing*
October 1st 2012 8:47 am
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Sum ob yu pupses mite jus' be wakin' up, bud here in da east it r almost noon. "Hey, Momma? I hab sum wunch soon??"
Anyfur, I hab gud nuses AN' I had bad nueses. Da gud nueses r dat yu can send Dogster Giff Shop bawwoons tu all yur fwiends dis day *FUR FWEE*! Yup, dat r whut I sed. Dem cost 0 zeawies dis day onwy.
Da bad nuses r dat dem r fwee cuz, appawentwy, dis r "Catober 1st". Da name awone r 'nuff tu make me cwazee an' nutzo, bud da idea ob cewebwatin' such a day goes 'gainst ebery fibre ob my LWD bein'. I r NOD cewebwatin' anyfing kitty-wewated. In fak, I r pwotestin' dis hole fing by wefusin' tu participate.
I r sendin' bawwoons tu no pup. I hab my pwinciples an' my mowals an' junk an' I r standin' by dem dis time. Nod eben da pwomise ob fwee bawwoons r 'nuff tu sway me, Zaidie. Ok. If dem wuz filled wif bacon bits or hunks ob MEATZ™, I mite weconsider, BUD DEM R NOD, so I west my case.
I will be back here on a day dat r NOD all 'bout honurin' kitties. I r eben finkin' ob takin' wegal akshun. Yu hab beened warned, HQ.
*PUPDATE* Me an' my staff jus' habbed a 'mergencee meetin' an' we 'cided dat we R gonna send bawwoons tu all our fwiends, bud *nod* cuz it r 'Catober' 1st. We r duin' it in mem'wy ob Izzy B an' all our deer fwiends at da Wainbow Bwidge whu wive in our harts fureber an' alwayz ♥ ❀ ☀
September 30th 2012 12:48 pm
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All ob us pupses an' our peeples r so bery sad dat our sweet, orange fwiend, da one an' onwy Izzy B, wented tu da Wainbow Bwidge on Fwiday, jus' a coupla monfs short ob hur 16th birfday.
I twied witin' sumfing meeningful, wif wotza werds, dat wood adequatewy expwess our sadnesses an' our wuff fur Izzy an' da hole Beesun fambly. Howeber, I ebentuawwy weawized dat bestest way fur me tu du dat r fru da form ob poetwy knowned as haiku.
~ We miss yu ~
Hur steel-ded our harts
wif hur sweetness an' hur fwoofs.
T'wuz twue pubby wuff.
~ My Wuff ~
I wuffed hur fwum da
moment I sawed hur sweet face
on dis Dogster fing.
~ Fureber ~
Ernie an' Izzy
tugefur 'gain, chowin' down
On eggie weggies.
~ Big Orange ~
Ernie wuffed Izzy
eben more dan mashed 'tatoes
an' gwavy. Weally.
Big hugs an' wotza swoppy LWD kisses tu Mistur an' Missus Beesun, tu Bacon an' Beanie an', ob corse, tu my mentor, da Don ob Sunset Woad, Ernie George, Angel-At-Warge. Take gud care ob Big Orange up dere at da Wainbow Bwidge, my fwiend ♥ ❀ ☀
September 24th 2012 11:23 am
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It r a tip'cal fall day here in souf-western Ontawio - kewl 'nuff dat da peeple need wear a jacket, bud nod so kewl dat dem r stuffin' dere LWDs intu fweaters an' junk. Da sun r pwayin' hide-an-seek wif da cwouds an' dere r wotza weafs on da gwound, holdin' in all kindza wunnerful smells an' stuff. In uber werds, it r da perfek day fur takin' yur pupses fur a walk afore yu ged bizzy duin' borin' peeple stuffs.
Momma gedded weady while I did dis : *eyeroll* an' wated fur hours while hur founded da wite shooes an' sungwasses an' filled hur pocket wif poop bags. Den, boila : we wuz weady tu hed out da door. I, ob corse, hab beened stuffded intu da 'Buddy Belt ob Horror an' Tortchur™'. I weally du nod wike dat fing. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Bud I digwess.
Finawwy, we wuz on our way. Momma sed,"Which way should we go, HunBun?? You choose the route today!" WOO-HOO :D So dere we wuz, me pullin' wif all my stwenfs an' LWD muscles an' stuff, twyin' tu see an' smell eberyfing awong da way. Momma sed dat r called 'NOD COOPEWATIN', bud I call it 'simpwy bein' a pup' :D
I wuz pullin' one way an' Momma wuz pullin' da uber way when all ob a sudden, da 'Buddy Belt ob Horror an' Torchur™' swipped off me, Zaidie!! I wuz FWEE! Yup, no weash or nuffin!!! Momma maded sum kinda weerd noize I hab neber heered afore :O Bud bein' fwee did nod feel tu gud. It wuz kinda skeery. I fwattened myselb 'gainst da gwound an' Momma frowed hurselb on top ob me. Hur pichured me wunnin' fwee an' geddin' wost or, eben werser, bein' squishded by a car! It wuz horr'ble!
Hur scoopded me up an' telled me I wuz a bery gud boy. Den hur huggded me, bud nod tu tite, an' pudded me back intu da Buddy Belt ob Horror an' Tortchur™. Hur fot,"Okay. We can either continue on and walk off the stress or we can run home and flip out and imagine all the ways that could have ended badly..." We keeped walking! An' I choosed da woute we taked!
We went past my nemesis' howse. Him r a yappy, bud bery cute lil' Sheltie who sez,"BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!" ebery time him sees me :D I say,"BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!" wite back at him wheneber I see him. It r fun! Weally noisy, tu! In fak, if dem see us afore we see dem, dem go da uber way! BOLBOL :D
Now we r home an' Momma r twyin' tu bweafe an' wewax. I hookded hur up tu da pwototipe fur da all nu 'Quintuple-Stwenf Bodka Dwip™' witch r nod eben abailable 'til da furst week in December! Hur r westin' comfortabwy an', dis nite, when Dadda geds home fwum werk, we r gonna weenact da hole ugwee incident an' see whut wented wong wif da 'Buddy Belt ob Horror an' Torchur™'. I say we shood frow it out, ged wid ob it, bud dat r jus' my 'pinion :D Bud I r weally gwad I r nod wost nor squishded!
September 19th 2012 12:58 pm
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All ober da werld dis r 'Tawk Wike A Piwate' day - dat speshul day once a yeer when we frow cawshun tu da wind an' diswegard all da usual wules ob spellin' an' gwammar an'...Say whut? Oh, yeah - I du dat eberyday :D
If yu hab beened payin' 'ttenshuns, yu also wood hab noticed dat da BIG piwate fwags in da giff shop r fwee dis day. Yes, I sed F-W-E-E!! FWEE BIG, HUGE PIWATE FWAGS in da Dogster Giff Shop, dis day onwy! So ged sendin' dem tu all yur piwate fwiends or I r gonna make yu walk da pwank an' du all kindza cwazee piwate stuff tu yu, tu :O So AAAARRRGH an' ABAST an' Junk ☠
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