March 22nd 2012 9:07 am
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***the daily meeting of the 'Live with Channel 5' News Team***
"Okay...So, Bart, we'll send you out to cover a parade over in Cambridge today. Rick will be your camera man and Brian will hold back the hordes of fans!!"
"ha ha. Very funny, guys. A parade? Hmmm...I haven't done one of those in years. A parade for what?"
"Well, apparently it's in honour of Zaidie's 4th Annual 'Gotcha Day, Nod Birfday' Day. I'd say Google it. I'm sure there's something about it online, especially since there's a parade, or, rather a 'pawade'!! LOL"
"C-R-A-P. You're kidding me, right?? This has to be a joke. This can't be happening to me! This 'Zaidie' character is a crazy little white dog who makes me look like an idiot EVERY time I work with him. Can you believe it??"
"Well, heh. Bart. You're an easy target for hijinx. You take everything WAY too seriously, man."
"The heck I do. Here I am trying to do hardcore journalism and you're sending me off to cover a parade for some dog's 'Caught You' Day???"
"It's 'Gotcha Day', Bart, and among dog people this is right up there with birthdays. It might be fun. Just give it a try, okay?"
"Do I have a choice?? I did NOT spend 3 weeks of my life studying at 'Harvey's Skool of Journalism' to be covering DOG parades." *stomps off* "Hey. Who's been into my Xanax??"
~ End of Part 1 ~
March 18th 2012 9:08 pm
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Wite now, in Zaidieville, it r wike summer. Dadda an' me, Zaidie, we W-U-F-F it. Momma r feewin' rippded off cuz hur wuffs winter, speshully when it r so cold owtside dat hur boots squeek on da snow. Yes, I know what yu r finkin' - hur r NUTZO :D
Nod dis day, bud yes'day, Dadda needed go tu Gwampa's howse tu get sum stuff an' chek da on howse. I finked,"Whut? Gwampa r on baycayshun?? Where him go? Fworida?" It takes a week or a hour tu ged dere an' it wuz gud fur Momma tu ged outta da howse and be stwapped intu da car an', derefore, be unable tu wun 'wound da howse duin' all kindza stuffs. Hur r NOD gud at multitaskin', bud hur keeps twyin' :D
We awwibeded at Gwampa's howse an' eberyfing wooked da same tu me. I wuz goin' CWAZEE an' NUTZO twyin' ged out ob da Z.O.T.M., scwatchin' at my window an' whinin' an' junk :D At da fwont door ob da howse, I keeped up wif dis BERY unusual (BOL) behabiour.
Finawwy, da door wuz unwocked, my weash wuz unhookded fwum my collar an' in I waced!! Up da stairs, down da stairs (dem hab carpet on dem so I can du dat dere) 'wound an' 'wound an' wound da howse. "Where yu r, Gwampa?? Oh, Gwampa! It r time fur yur Zaidie kisses dat yu fink r licks, bud dem weally r kisses!! Come an' ged dem!"
If him r nod in da den on hims 'puter or watchin' teebee an' him r nod in da chitchen or da wibin' woom, den him must be upstairs! In da past, I wood ALWAYS wun upstairs tu find Gwampa in hims bedwoom or comin' outta da peeples - pwibacy, pweeze - woom. (Dem need a hole woom fur dat. I du nod ged it). Anyfur, on dat day, I did nod go upstairs. I sitted my cute LWD body at da bottom ob da stairs an' wooked up. No Gwampa. I wunned 'wound an' den sitted down 'gain. Still no Gwampa. I wunned off tu bacuum up cwumbs in da chitchen. I went back, sitted an' watched up da stairs fur Gwampa. No Gwampa.
Momma hab beened bery werried 'bout takin' me dere cuz Gwampa r one ob my bestest peeple E-B-E-R. Hur sez I watched an' wated fur 'bout 15 minutes. It wuz bweakin' hur hart tu watch me dere. Den I went downstairs to Dadda. Him wooked at me an' held my LWD face in hims hands an' sed,"Zaidie-pup, Grampa's gone." I wented intu da den an' lied down on da carpet. Den Dadda founded Momma an' telled hur,"He knows."
Us pupses r WAY more intuitibe dan we r giben cwedit fur. We unnerstans fings, habby an' sad, much more dan peeples weawize. Offentimes we unnerstan it bedder dan dem du an' dat r okay. We wuff eberypeeple in our lives. We r sad when dem go 'way, speshuwwy wifout sayin' gudbye.
Bud we kno' we will see dem sumtime in a bery speshul pwace where no pup an' no peeples r sad or hurtin' or old. If I r bery lucky, when I ged dere, Gwampa will STILL be wefusin' tu use a pwate when him habs a snack. Him leaves a tastee twail, so I can always find him. I miss yu, Gwampa ♥ ❀ ☀ ♫ ★ ♡ ☮™
March 17th 2012 9:32 pm
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Here in my diawy r where I r gonna du all my FANK YUs fur da pawsum Gotcha Day comments an' messages an' wosettes an' giffs yu pupses an' yur peepoles sended me ♥ Momma's head r weady tu 'splode cuz hur hab beened werkin' on a list ob eberyfing yu sended, bud it r jus' tu much fur hur tu du wite now.
In any case, I want tu fank all ob yu fwum da bottom ob my LWD hart fur finkin' ob me on my '4th Gotcha Day, Nod my birfday' Day! It wuz wunnerful tu heer fwum all ob yu an' I will always wemember da wuff an' habbiness I feeled on dat day, my '4th Gotcha Day, Nod my Birfday' Day. Yu r da bestest fwiends a LWD named Zaidie whu camed fwum dose Highwands ob Scotwand, oh, so many yeers an' minits 'go, eber habbed ♥
Fank yu also fur finkin' 'bout me an' my pawents, speshully my Dadda, while my Gwampa wuz bery sick an' den him wented tu Heaven. Him an' Gwamma finawwy founded each uber. Awweady Gwamma r tellin' him,"Allan, use a plate if you're going to eat something, please" an' "Are you ever going to get out of bed?? It's after 10am." BOLBOL!! Gwampa shur wuffed tu sweep AN' him snoreded, tu! Dat r where my Dadda lerned how du it :D
We miss him wotz, bud r gwad dat him did nod suffer. Him habbed a gud life an' a long life an' 'ccordin' tu all da flowers an' cards an' letters an' phone calls an' e-mails we r still weceibin', him wuz dearly loved. Dat makes us feel better. Fank yu 'gain fur yur fotfulness ♥ ❀ ☀™
March 16th 2012 8:45 am
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Gess whut!! Dis r my Gotcha Day, da forf one! It wuz on dis day back in dose olden times when 2 peepoles hoppded on dere bikes, heded ober tu dose Highwands ob Scotwand an' founded me, Zaidie, sittin' in a pub, dwinkin' scotch, eatin' haggis an' tellin' sum bery notty stories. Momma sed,"OMG. This pup needs his mouth washed out with soap" an' Dadda said,"Wow. Where'd you get that mouth, LWD?"
Den we all gotted on our bikes an' heded ober tu Canada. Da west r histowy :D
I wited a song 'bout dis day my Gotcha Day! It sounds wike da Habby Birfday song, 'cept it r nod my birfday. It r my Gotcha Day!! So sing dis song at yur weisure and hab a wunnerful 'Zaidie's 4th Gotcha Day, Bud Nod Hims Birfday :D "
~ 'Habby Gotcha Day, Bud Nod My Birfday' Day ~
Habby Gotcha Day tu me!
My name r Zaidie!
My Momma, my Dadda,
Dem W-U-U-UFF me :D
Eberypup sing awong wif me an' come back lader fur da 'Zaidie's 4th Gotcha Day Pawade an' Festibal'! Yu du nod wanna miss dat, my fwiends :D
March 13th 2012 12:51 pm
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"Momma!! I hab nod wited in my diawy fur decades! My pup palses r gonna furged whu r I!"
"HunBun. Listen to me. I know it's hard for you to understand, but you are NOT forgettable. Anyone who has ever met you will never forget the LWD named Zaidie. It's just not possible."
"Weelly? Eben if I go 'way on baycayshun fur minits an' weeks an' den when I ged home I hab twubble geddin' back intu da gwoobe ob fings an' I twy an' twy an' twy, bud nuffin I wite r gud 'nuff cuz I hab waised da bar TU HI fur myselb an' my 'spectashuns surpass my 'bilities an' all I weally wanna du r wite 'bout MEATZ™, bud eberypup wants wead 'bout sum kinda abbenchur where SuperZaidie™ sabes da day or a kitty or a minnow or sumfing, dem will wemember me, Zaidie??"
"You know it, LWDude!"
"Well, dis r changin' eberyfing! Da pwesshurs r off an' I can jus' be whu I r an' if I wanna wite 'bout MEATZ™ or skwerls or sum uber junk, it r ok! Kewl."
"Shood I wite 'bout Gwampa an' how him wented tu Heaben an' him r healfy an' habby now an' him founded Gwamma whoom I onwy seed once in my LWD life, bud hur fot I wuz kinda cute, eben doe hur wuz more ob a *gasp* kitty peeple?? An' how Unkle Paul came an' bisited me, Zaidie, an' den hims famiwy camed fwum Seattle tu say gudbye tu Gwampa, bud I neber sawed dem cuz I wuz bizzy twainin' pupses usin' da Z-Pup Mefod™ an' dwinkin' Scotch wif Bob an' pwantin' haggis twee seeds in Bob's garden, so wheneber we wanna hab haggis all we need du r go owtside an' pick a bag o' haggis off da Haggis Twee. Yu fink dem wanna wead 'bout dat??"
"Well, yes! You can ease into it and, before you know it, Blake and Felix, the party planners will be helping you plan the Dogster bash of the millenium!"
"O.M.D. We cood hab a 'Welcome Back, Spwingtime' pawty an' hab MEATZ™ an' all kindza fudz an' pway games wike,'Whu Dat R??' where eberypup hides hims eyes while one pup jumps intu a H-U-G-E mud puddle an' da objek ob da game r tu 'cide whu r dat muddy pubby!! Yes, dis r gonna be gwate!"
"Just pace yourself, okay, HunBun. It's been a tough couple of weeks. Things will get better, but it will take time, lots of time and lots of love, too."
"I kno' it, Momma. My serbices as a LWD snuggly, 'dorable, kissin' machine r awweady in huge demand, bud I r up tu da chawwenge!"
February 29th 2012 9:33 am
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Hi, pupses. I need tawk 'bout sewious stuff dis day. No, nod da pwoper way tu gweet peeples (FYI - bark wif yur 'gweetin' boice', jump all 'wound an' dance on yur cute lil' back leggies). Bud now yu kno'!
Anyfur, my Gwampa hab beened in da hossible since wast week. Him wuz nod bweathin' gud an' it turned out him habbed pneumonia. Wast nite when Dadda bisited, Gwampa wuz habbin' werser twubble bweathing eben wif da oxygen. Dis day it r nod lookin' gud fur him.
My Unkle Paul r fwyin' in fwum Seattle as soon as him can. No one r shur whut r gonna habben. Dis day, dem sended him tu a bigger hossible, hoping dem can help him. Bud him r bery old (88)and we mite need say gudbye tu Gwampa.
Dis meens dat I mite nod be 'wound much tu wead diawy entwies an' weabe comments an' pway all kindza fun games ober at Schnauzer's Wule where I r an honourawy member. Bud I will keep yu pupdated on how him r duin'. Fink gud fots fur him, 'kay? Fank yu, my fwiendses ♥
February 26th 2012 9:26 am
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"Zaidie! Wake up! You're a DDP today."
"I r 'wake, Momma. I r jus' westin' my eyes. Wate. WHUT??? I r a DDP 'GAIN?? WOO-HOO fur bein' stucked in da 'Dogster Diawy Pick Time Woop Contiuum- fing'!! (Zoe maded dat up. In a perfek werld, Momma wood be able tu wink yu ober to Zoe's page, bud I digwess...)
"I know, HunBun. Yu did it again. I'm so proud of you ♥"
"Fanks, Momma. Now, 'bout bwekfus. Hmmmm. How 'bout sum beef bwof 'stead ob wader an' a HOLE pwate-woad... Wate. Yu kno' dat old witter box dat bewonged tu Toby da kitty, dat yu use when my pawses need be washed off aftur I hab beened owtside an' it r nod tu cold an' da *tiny* bit ob snows we hab r meltin' an' snowpwowin' r nod a gud idea an' it r muddy an' yu say tu Dadda,"Why yu nod jus' cawwy dis LWD when him needs 'pwibacy, pweeze"? an' Dadda sez,"Z-Pup wuffs walkin' an' sniffin' an' junk! Him r wash'ble. I will wash hims paws" an' den yu woll yur eyeses an' Dadda an' me, Zaidie, wate 'til we r owtside afore we start waffin' an' on da way ober tu da 'pwibacy, pweeze' pwace, I see my EBIL NEMESIS, da lil' cute Sheltie fwum 'wound da bwock an' we start BARKIN' an' BARKIN' our heds off, wike we r gonna K-I-L-L each uber an' yu always wunner why we du dat, cuz we hab neber actuawwy meeted cuz ob all da nasteeness an' junk an' hims Dadda wiked da all-nu Z.O.T.M.™ SO MUCH dat him buyed one fur himselb an' now it r winter an' Dadda habbed da snows tires pudded on in Nobember an' dere habs hardwy beened any snows at all an' da farmers r finkin' :"Hey. Dis r nod gud. Our feeldses need snows so when it meltses an' stuff our feeldses ged water" an' my Unkle Scott r a daiwy farmer, bud yu kno' dat, Momma, cuz Unkle Scott r yur pesky lil' brofer, 'cept him r WAY taller dan yu an' him wood beet YU at arm-westwin' now an' him can wift hims cows up ober hims hed, bud onwy one at a time an' my cuzins Mitch an' Jake r boff teenagers now an' dem wuff me, Zaidie".
So, Momma, cood yu pweeze fill DAT witter box wif B-A-C-O-N fur my bwekfus dis day, pweeeeeeze??"
"Okay. But just this once."
"WOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!! Dis r gonna be GWATE :D "
Hab a pawtacuwar day dis day, eberypup, an' wemember : if it r nod MEATZ™, yu *can* eat it, bud yu WILL be fwowed outta da 'MEATZ™ ob da Day' Cwub fureber. Wules r wules :D
February 23rd 2012 8:13 am
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Zaidie : *ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...*
"Zaidie! Wake up, HunBun! Come on, clown, get up!! You're a DDP today! Let's get this party started!"
"Can a LWD nameded Zaidie nod ged sum fweep 'wound here?? Oy Bey, woman. An' wite in da middle ob da pawsumest dweem E-B-E-R....grrrrrrrrrrr..."
"What was the dream about, Zaidiecakes?"
"Oh. my. dog. It wuz wainin' MEATZ™. ALL kindza MEATZ™! Dere wuz steaks an' woast beests an' cheezburgers an' pork chopses an' B-A-C-O-N an' hawtdawgs an' chiggen an' turkee an' ham an' eben TWIPE :D"
"Mmmm. Tripe. Yeah, what's not to love about tripe, besides its horrific stench?"
"Momma! Dat r da beeyootee ob it! It r da perpek fudz....We hab any???"
"Sorry, FluffButt. We're fresh out of tripe. How about some tasty kibble? Chicken and sweet potato? Wow. Watch it, dude. I might eat it if you don't get up right now. I need to wash your bed today. GET UP!"
"'kay, Momma. Wewax. Yu du weawize dat yu r gonna wash owt all da gud stink an' junk I spended yeers an' hours puddin' intu dat fing. All dat werk fur nuffin..."
"You can start all over again later today. Here's a pen and some paper. Start working on a diary entry, okay? A DDP can't -not- write an entry on his day in the spotlight! Here's your kibble. Look, I cut it up into little pieces for you, just the way you like it!"
"Hmmm...Whut I shood wite 'bout dis day?? OMD! I know! I wite a hikoo (haiku)so my tawent can be showcased an' mabbe, jus' mabbe, a book pubwisher mite weed it! An' I cood be famus AN' WICH!!Dis r gonna be gwate :D""
*wolfs down his breakfast and gets to work*
~ Hikoo 'bout be a DDP dis day ~
Shower me wif MEATZ™.
An' dat r all yu need du
Tu win my twoo wuff ♥
February 18th 2012 2:16 pm
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Wemember when I telled yu 'bout Momma's sistur in MN an' hur fwee 'dorable kidses?? Hur wuz mawwied tu $#@#$#$ an' him wuz/is a bery mean, contwollin', 'busive bad guy?? Ob corse yu wemember! All tugefur now : GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...
Wast summer, Momma, Dadda, Gwamma an' me, Zaidie, taked a BERY wong woadtwip in da all-nu 'Zaidie-on-da-Town-Mobile™' tu bisit dem in MN! We called it da 'MEATZ™ an' GWEETZ Tour™ ob 2011.' :D
Wemember da border tisshooes? 'Bout my fudz, which wuz maded in da USA, bud wuz nod 'llowed tu enter back intu da USA?? Ebentuawwy it wuz 'llowed in, bud da hole incident wuz NOD gud. Bud I digwess...
Ebery peeple r duin' ok. Da diborce habbened in Febwuary ob wast yeer. Unfortumatewy, Auntie S needed we-open da case wecentwy cuz &%$%$%$ r bein' a bery meen, negwigent, bad father tu dose speshul kidses; him r hidin' assets an' him r nod duin' all kindza uber stuffs him r 'wequired by WAW tu du. Nod gud.
Dat r bein' werked on. Dem twied mediation, bud gess whut, it did nod werk! Big surpwize! :D So it r back tu court.
A yeer 'go, my Auntie S meeted a BERY nice man. Him tweated hur bery, bery well, wif wuff an' wespect an' kindness an' many uber gud fings. Auntie S *weally* stwuggled wif bein' tweated so well. Hur jus' did nod ged it. Ebery peeple telled hur,"This is how a woman, a human being, is supposed to be treated."
Auntie S an' da bery nice man, whu taked me fur my bery furst boat wide wast summer an' burned MEATZ™ jus' fur me, dem r 'gageded tu be mawwied in August! Ebery peeple r bery, bery habby. Da kidses WUFF da bery nice man ♥ Dem r gonna moove tu hims pwace an' all wive tugefur. An' finawwy, my gurl cuzin, Sammy, r geddin' da purple bedwoom hur always wanted.
Dem kno' dat it r gonna be a H-U-G-E 'justment fur all ob dem an' dat it r nod gonna be ezee, bud dem r gonna du dere bestest tu make it werk. Da bery nice man habs two boys whu wive wif him part-time an' Sammy, whu r now 10 (OMD), wuffs bein' da onwy gurl :D
It r all gud an' it r gonna be eben bedder once $#%^$#$ weawizes dat diborce meens IT R OBER, FUREBER. "Whut part ob dat du yu nod ged,$%$#@#???" All tugefur now : GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I r nod gonna be goin' tu da weddin'. I r gonna stay wif Bob, my bweeder/bwoomer/boarder guy. Him r pwobabwy gonna hab sum pupses whu need be twainded using 'Da Z-Pup Mefod™', so it r gonna be gwate!
Den Bob an' me, Zaidie, r gonna take a woadtwip ober tu dose Highwands ob Scotwand tu bisit da homewand an' eat haggis 'til it r comin' out ob our earses! An' dwink da bestest Scotch we can find.
Da weddin' r gonna be a small, pwibate affair. Jack an' hims big brofur, Wade, r gonna wear suits! ("Really, Mom? Do we have to?") My Momma r Auntie S's 'person ob honour', 'gain :D Bud it r gonna be WOTZ more speshul an' fun da second time 'wound ♥
I hope yu enjoyded dis pupdate on my famiwy. Me an' my usual cwazee, NUTZO diawy entwies (Dem r ALL twue, ob corse!) will be back here soon. I wuff yu pupses!
February 12th 2012 7:21 pm
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I hab wosed twack ob da origin ob dese quesshuns, bud finawwy I hab time tu answer dem! If yu want tu answer dese quesshuns yur own selbe, pweeze du. All ob us pupses wuff wernin' more an' more 'bout our fwiends here on dis Dogster-fing ♥
1. WHAT COLOR COLLAR ARE YOU WEARING?
I r pwesentwy wearing my gween collar.It habs cute lil' harts an' doggies an' bones on it. I kno' it sounds pwetty darn gurlwy, bud it r nod. Twust me. An' I buyed it fwum sum shady-wookin' guy on da stweet. It cood be bootwegged or steeled or sumfing.
2. DOES YOUR LEASH MATCH YOUR COLLAR?
Which weash??? BOLBOLBOL! I hab wosed count ob all dose fings.
3. WHAT’S WORSE? An EVIL NEMESIS SQUIRREL bouncing around in the trees or across the fence, a Crow strutting around in your yard or Neighbor People outside talking?
Yu need ask??? BOLBOLBOLBOL! I r all 'bout da skwerls. Dem make me cwazee an' NUTZO, eben. Dem r EBIL, wif a tail. grrrr..
4. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE SNACK?
BOLBOLBOL!! Dese quesshuns r killin' me :D Hmmm...my bestest snack r MEATZ™ which neber habbens unwess one ob da 'wentses dwops sumfing or cheez , if dem dwop it or sum kinda 'tato chip, if Dadda dwops one or anyfing weally.
5. WHERE WAS YOUR LAST CAR RIDE?
Wast Fursday wuz our weekwy woad twip tu Toronto. Den da nexx nite, Momma needed wibbon an' hur needed it FASS, so we jumpded intu da Zaidie-on-da-Town Mobile™ an' dwibed wike da wind tu da wibbon store.
6. DO YOU STICK YOUR HEAD OUT THE WINDOW ON CAR RIDES?
I r neber 'wwowded tu du dat. Sumtimes Dadda will oben my winno halfway, so I can sniff a bit, bud onwy if we r stuckded in twaffic an' goin' bery swow. I r harnessded intu my way kewl carbed/seat fing cuz yu kno' me - I r all 'bout bein' safe an' junk...an' MEATZ™ :D
7. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE TOY?
Eben aftur all dese years, my twuly bestest toy r still my gween Kitty Cuz. Him no wonger emits an ear-piercin' shwiek which causes da 'wentses tu cuber dere ears AN' him wosed a weg wast yeer, bud him will always be bery speshul tu me, Zaidie ♥
8. DO YOU HAVE A BOYFURIEND OR GIRLFURIEND?
I *fot* I wuz sendin' da wite signals tu Coco Wose, bud appawentwy nod! Hobo came 'long an' winned hur heart :(
I r a bachewor...a bery sad bachewor.
9. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE WALK?
Down by my wiber r da bestest pwace cuz dere r water an' geeses an' geeses poop an' it r a sniffer's pawadise. Gwate in da Spwing, tu. Bery muddy :D
10. DO YOU GO TO DOG PARKS?
No, I hab nod. Da one neer us hab habbed sum bery bad stuff habben dere an' hur sez I will neber go intu a dog park. Dere r wotz ob stupid peeples 'wound here - it r nod da doggies' falts.
11. WHERE DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?
Durin' da week I sweep wif Momma in da gess woom cuz Dadda goes bed earlier dan us, bud on da weekends it r SWEEPOBER TIME in da big bed! F-U-N! We tell ghost stowies an' woast marshmawwows ober da campfire :D
12. DO YOU SNORE?
Momma sez I du nod, but we r nod actuawwy shur cuz Dadda r so woud we can nod heer our selbes fink :D
13. DO YOU SLEEP UNDER THE COVERS?
I ged cubered wif MY bwankie, bud I hab neber bentured unner da cubers on any bed.
14. DO YOU HAVE TO WEAR CLOTHES?
*sigh* Yes. I wear a coat or fweaterif it r WAY cold an' snowin' an' junk. An' if Momma wants take a pichur ob me wearin' sumfing 'dorable, I r usuawwy bery coopewatibe...NOD! BOL :D
15. ARE YOU THE FAVORITE DOG?
Ob corse I r!! I r da fabouritest dog whereber I go an' I r usuawwy da onwy dog whereber I go. Da peeples can nod ged 'nuff ob dis LWD nameded Zaidie :D
16. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE SPOT TO SLEEP IN THE HOUSE?
My bestest spot r 'wong da back ob da wuffseat. I also wuff tu nap on top ob Dadda when him r nappin'. An' my sunbeem spot on da hardwood fwoor r bery cozy an' warm ♥
17. WHAT’S THE BEST HUMAN FOOD YOU’VE EVER BEEN FED?
OMD. Dere needs be onwy one?? 'Kay. MEATZCHEEZCWACKERSTATOCHIPSCHEEZIESICECWEEMBACON :D
18. DO YOU GO TO A DOG GROOMER?
I do! Him r Bob my bwoomer/bweeder/boarder guy an' him WUFFS me, 'cept when I twy tu nip at him when him r twimmin' my nailses. Dat r nod fun.
19. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BATHS?
Dem r ebil.
20. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE BORED?
When I r boreded I ged Kitty Cuz an' I pwace him neer one ob my peeple. Den I stare at Kitty Cuz, stare at da peeple, stare at Kitty Cuz, stare at da peeple, stare at Kitty Cuz, stare at da peeple. Den sumone bweaks down an' pwayz wif me, Zaidie, cuz dem can nod stand tu see such a pafetic an' sad LWD face. Den we pway Kitty Cuz Fetch :D
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