~ Zaidie's Howse ob Haggis and Scotch ~

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~ Oy Bey. Whadda week ~

October 12th 2012 8:13 am
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Momma, Dadda an' me, Zaidie, habbed a PAWSUM baycayshun! Our lil' cabin wuz cozy an' wustik (bud nod TU wustik :D). Da lil' cweek ahind it wulled us tu sweep each nite an' helbed us wake up oh-so-gentwy in da mornin'. It r twoo whut dem say : sumtimes a change r as gud as a west...or sumfing. BOL!

I habbed wotza abbenchurs an' I will wite 'bout dem soon. Dis day, doe, we r sad cuz Momma's Gwamma died wate wast nite. Hur wuz 94 which r elebenty-sebenty-seben in pup yeers. Hur habbed a PAWSUM life - borned on a small farm wifout water an' ewectwicity in da middle ob nowherez - moobin' tu da big city an' werkin' - den meetin' hur fu-chur husband when him offered hur a wide home fwum church in hims father's fancy Chwysler Imperial! Hur sed no! BOLBOLBOL :D

Anyfur, I hab beened weadin' yur diawies an' commentin' when I can. Momma r still duin' waundwy an' junk fwum our twip an' now hur r kinda sad :( I will dwop in here when I can cuz I wuff yu pupses an' I miss messin' 'wound wif yu here on dis Dogster pwace. Take care ob yur peeples, 'kay? ♥ ❀ ☀

 

~ Nod 'Gain!! ~

October 14th 2012 7:21 am
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OY BEY! We r goin' 'way 'gain, pupses! Dis time it r nod fur fun an' 'wewaxin'. It r fur da funewal ob Momma's Gwamma (Ackfuwawwy, Momma callded her 'Nan' ♥)

Anyfur, I be back in a coupla days. I weally miss messin' 'wound here on dis Dogster fing an' if I r nod careful, I r gonna wose my honurwawy memmership in Schnauzer's Wule! I hab nod beened able tu pway dere in yeers.
Mabbe I shood send ebery SR pup a memmership in da 'MEATZ™ ob da Day' Cwub, so dem kno' I r finkin' 'bout dem! Dem ged a fweezer filled wif MEATZ™ ebery day!! An' dose fweezers stack up nicewy, tu :D

We hab a bizzy day dis day, so I r gonna say 'See ya, pupses! An' take care ob yur peeples, 'kay?? Gud werk! I wuff yu ♥ ❀ ☀

 

~ Dis r an OUTWAGE (Yup, anuber one :D) ~

October 21st 2012 9:19 am
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I kno' whut all ob yu r finkin. Yu r sittin' in yur howses, dwinkin' cawfee an' eatin' yur Sunday mornin' pile ob bacon, catchin' up on all da Dogster nues an' yu see dat dere r a diawy entwy fwum me, Zaidie.

Yu fink,"Whu dis guy r? Zaidie?? Whut kinda name dat r?" Den yu come tu yur senses. Yu wememmer dat yu du, in fak, kno' me' an' yu fink,"Zaidie/Zaidiepup/Z-Pup/Z ('cept onwy Zoe r 'llowed tu call me dat!)/Mistur Pawsum/LWD!! Yu wented on baycayshun an' we hab heered nuffin 'bout it. Whut da heck r go on???"

Pupses, I will ged tu it, I pwomise, bud in da meemtime, sumfing else camed up an' it r an OUTWAGE. My weputayshun hab beened destwoyed, WUINED, eben!

I wuz jus' weadin' da Dogster Magazine, da wifestyle sexshun. I wuz particuwarwy innerwested in da title ob one ob da wists : 10 Nottiest Dog Bweeds. I finked tu myselb,"OMD! I OWN dis wist. Dere r NO PUP nottier dan dis LWD!! Weguwar notty pups come tu me fur abbice. Dem wook up tu me, I r so notty. In fak, if yu wook up da werd,'notty' in da dikshunawy, yu see a pichur ob me, Zaidie! Dat r all yu need kno'! BOL :D"

I cwicked on da wink an', wo an' beholded, dere it wuz. Da 10 Nottiest Dog Bweeds wist :

1) Daschund
2) Bull Tewwier
3) Jag Wussell Tewwier
4) Pug
5) Malteez
6) 'Merican Pibble Tewwier
7) Yorkie
8) Wab
9) Engwish Bulldawg
10) Beegul

I weaded it an' I finked,"Oh, dere must be a mistake cuz dere r no menshun ob Westies. Mabbe da wist r continued on da nexx page." Bud dere wuz no nexx page. Dat wuz da hole wist. I r nod on it an' neiber r Whitwey an' Finwey an' Jayden Noelani an' Cwicket an' Ziggy an' all da uber Dogster Westies whose names I can nod wememmer wite now cuz I r so distwot.

Go. Go, pupses an' wead it fur yurselbes. See if it r poss'ble tu wead da wist ob charactewistiks ob a notty dog wifout habbin' a image ob me, Zaidie, poppin' intu yur cute lil' head. Wascally? Impish? Willingwess tu disobey?? Dose werds hab me witten ALL OBER dem....Oh bey. I need wie down.

 

~ WoadTwip Day ~

October 25th 2012 9:11 am
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Wike I sed, dis r woadtwip day, bud I r gonna weave yu wif a coupla haikus I wited 'bout my baycayshun. Bark wif yu lader!

~ MEATZ™ ~

Joocee hunk ob MEATZ™.
"No need tu gwill mine," I sed.
Bud no one heared me.


~ Skwerls ~

Makin' me nutzo
Wunnin' here, dere, eberywhere.
Pweeze make dem stop. Now.


~ Soubenirs ~

Small giffs yu bwing home
Aftur yur baycayshun. 'Cept
I bwinged home a tick.

 

~ I wuz taggded, kind ob! ~

October 28th 2012 12:36 pm
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Hey, pupses! My gud fwiend Winkie, fwum San Banfwisco, wuz taggded an' him habbed NO idea whut da heck wuz goin' on, so him asked hims big bwofur 'bout it : "Hershey, I wuz taggded. Whut da heck r go on??" Hershey 'spwained it tu him!

Him telled Winkie 'bout dose olden days on Dogster, back when us pupses wived off da wand, maded our own fudz an' an' habbed tu walk twenny miles each way tu da bet's obbice an' onwy pwayed wif wocks an' stix cuz toyz hab nod yet beened inbented! Weally :D

Dere wuz WOTZA taggin' goin' on back den an' when yu gedded taggded, it meened yu habbed tu answer sum quesshuns, bud yu did it in yur Dogster Diawy, so dat yur fwiends cood wead yur answers an' wern eben more way kewl an' innerwestin' fax an' junk 'bout yu! Sounds wike fun, wite?? Ob corse it duz! If yu wead dis, consider yurselb taggded, *bud onwy if yu wanna be taggded* Copy da quesshuns intu yur diawy an' answer dem. Yu can eben ask yurselb yur own quesshuns an' I r pwetty shur yu will answer! So wet's ged tu it!

1)What colour is your collar?

- BOL!!! Witch collar??? O.M.D. I hab 'bout twenny, bud dis day I r wearin' my 'I will nod chase skwerls' collar. Momma finks dat by wearin' it, I agwee tu NOD chase dem! BOLBOLBOL :D Hur r so cute when hur r guwwible!

2) What kind of food do you eat?

- Aftur all da wecalls an' junk wegardin' dog fudz, Momma 'cided tu take madders intu hur own hands. Now I eat sumfing called 'Urban Wolf'. It r a dehydwated mix ob all kindza beggies an' fwoots an' uber gud stuffs. It ged wehydwated an' mixed wif cooked MEATZ™ - any kind ob MEATZ™ Sumtimes it r chiggen an' sumtimes it r gwound beefs an' sumtimes it r steak!! It geds measured out intu daily porshuns an' it can be fweezed! It r ezee tu make an' tastee??? OMD, pupses! Can yu say 'LISHUS??

3) What are your favourite treats??

- Wite now I r toadawwy intu sum cookies called 'Doggy Delirious' by a company in WA called, 'Wet Noses Inc.' Dem r shaped wike bones an' dem come in all kindza fwabours wike cheez an' apple&cinnamon an' pear&mint an' sweet 'tato an' peenut budder an' pupkin an' cawwot&cwanbewwy! Dem hab NO corn, NO wheet, NO soy pwoducks, NO pweserbatibes an' NO, I r nod bein' payded tu 'dorse dis pwoduck, 'cept if I wuz I wood wanna be payded in MEATZ™, bud I bet yu awweady knowed dat :D

4) Do you have a Valentine or a significant other??

- Well, ober da yeers I hab twied tu werk da Z-Pup magik on a couple ob wadies here on dis Dogster fing. Howeber, my efforts hab beened in bain. No pup wants tu be wif da Z-Pup. Dem uze all kindza 'scuses 'bout how dem r nod 'llowed off-weash an' how dere Mommas will nod wet dem date 'til dem r older an' junk. I unnerstan. Weally, I du. Bud it still hurts dis LWD's hart. 'Scuse me, pweeze. *sob*

5) Are you ever fed table scraps??

- It r a cold day in...Ooops. I meen, no. Sumtimes I ged a taste ob chiggen or steak, bud dat r it. My LWD tumtum r bery sensitibe an' sumtimes I ged da urkagurkas if I hab maded a bad decishun, fudz-wize. R kitty poop considered table scwaps??


*Dere r more quesshuns, bud I du nod wanna bore yu pupses outta yur cute lil' heds. If yu wanna tag yurselb, pweeze du so an' stay tuneded fur more fascinerwatin' fax 'bout me, Zaidie :D

 

~ I wuz taggded, Part 2 ~

November 6th 2012 11:51 am
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So wike I telled yu, I wuz taggded. On Dogster when yu ged taggded, it meens yu need answer sum quesshuns! I awweady answered sum, bud now I r gonna answer more, 'CEPT I hab maded up my own quesshuns fur part 2!! So hang ontu yur pantses, pupses, cuz dis r gonna be F-U-N!!!

5) Du yu wike baffs an' when wuz da wast time yu habbed one?

- Nexx tu kitties an' skwerls an' bein' bwushed an' wearin' a coat an' wearin' boots an' bein' gibben med'cine an' bein' weft all awone at my howse an' wain an' windy days an' wettuce, I weally du NOD wike tu hab a baff. Da wast one I habbed wuz on Sunday. I hated ebery single minit ob it an' I did my bestest tu ged Momma an' Dadda soakded awong wif me :D

6) If yu wuz stucked on a desert iswand, whut 3 fings wood yu want tu hab wif yu?

- *thinks hard* Ouch! Dis r a twicky one. I fink I wood need a wifetime suppwy ob kitties, a wifetime suppwy ob skwerls an' a wifetime suppwy ob MEATZ™. Dat shood jus' 'bout cuber eberyfing :D


7) When wuz da wast time yu taked yur peepoles fur a walk??

- Well, dis r a coinfidence! I jus' gedded back fwum one! Dis day, Momma sed tu me,"Okay, Zaidie-Pup, today you have a choice - wear the Buddy Belt of Horror and Torture™ *OR* wear your 'snazzy and styling' new raincoat/windbreaker. What's it going to be HunBun??"
OMD! Dat r wike askin' - du yu wanna hab a baff or du yu wanna hab a shower??? Dere r no gud answer, 'cept I choosed da coat an' it wuz da werstest walk eber! grrrrrrrrrrrrr...

8) How much ob whut yu werned at 'bedience skool du yu pwactise in weel wife?

- :D N-U-F-F-I-N :D It r funny ('cept Momma an' Dadda du nod waff 'bout it) cuz when I wuz in skool, I wuz at da top ob my cwass. I did eberyfing I needed du an' sumtimes da teechurs wood uze me, Zaidie, as a 'xample ob gud behabiour! BOLBOL :D If dem cood see me now, dem wood be howwor-stwicken :D (*Note from Momma : Just for the record, they wouldn't be horror-stricken, but they would agree that Zaidie and his parents could use a refresher course*)

9) Whut du yu wear unner yur kilt??

- Oh, deer. Dat r a secwet. I cood tell yu, bud dat wood meen I wood wose my memmership in da 'LWD Whu Wuz Borned Unner A Haggis Twee In Dose West Highwands Ob Scotwand' Cwub or, as we call it, da 'LWDWWBUAHTIDWHOS' Cwub.

Yes, I DU, in fak, hab a kilt an' if yu ask bery nicewy an' pwomise NOD tu waff, I mite show it tu yu...'cept Momma needs take a pichur ob it furst :D

10) Final quesshun - 'Sides da bet's obbice, where dem wuff yu an' r alwayz so bery habby tu see yu an' da feewin' r mutual, an' yur bestest beech an' Gwamma an' Gwampa's fenced-in yard an' yur bestest twail by yur bestest river, whut r yur fabouwitest pwace on earf??

- Well, dat r ezee - DOGSTER, ob corse!!! I wuff yu pupses ♥ ❀ ☀

 

~ Habby Birfday tu ME!! ~

November 22nd 2012 9:02 am
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♪ Habby Birfday tu me! (I r fibe!)
Habby Birfday tu me! (bud I r still nod 'llowed tu dwibe).
Habby Birfday, Ged cookin' MEATZ™, Momma!!
Habby Birfday tu me!! (I r fibe!) ♫

Hey, pupses!! Yup, it r a speshul day here at my howse - it r my birfday an' I r...Can yu gess how old I r?? Nope, nod one. Nope, nod too. Nope, nope fwee an' nope, nod fore! I r 1234...5!! YAY fur bein' FIBE!! Da werld r my oyster an' I can du ANYFING I wanna du dis day, wite, Momma???

"Well, HunBun, it's also Roadtrip Day and in the US, it's Thanksgiving, so it's an especially special day!"

"Where my giffs r?"

"Well, look at your Dogster page, dude!! We're going to need an 18-wheeler to get all your presents home!"

"OMD!! Dis r unbewiebable!!" *starts wiggling his LWD butt and can't stop dancing* BESTEST DAY EBER!! Fanks fur all da giffs an' messages an' cards yu hab sended me, my fwiends! I will hab tu du my fank yu nexx day cuz we r outta here!!~ Habby Fanksgibbin' tu all my 'Merican fwiends an' dere famblies! I wuff yu pupses!!

P.S. Chek out dis pome-fing fwum Zoe!! I r still waffin' :D

He's feisty and cute.
He looks good in a suit.
Call him Z or LWD.
Today he ain't three.

BOLBOLBOLBOLBOLBOLBOLBOLBOLBOLBOLBOLBOLBOLBOL!!! Da bestest part ob dis day r dat Zoe's pome maded my Momma waff OUT WOUD!! Dis r HUGE pupses, H-U-G-E!! I wuff it :D

 

~ Fank Yu Fwum da Bottom ob my LWD Hart ~

November 23rd 2012 6:31 pm
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I wood wike tu take dis obbortunity tu fank yu, my fwiends, fur helbin' me cewebwate my 5th birfday. It wuz da bestest day E-B-E-R! I kno' I say dat all da time, bud it r alwayz twoo. Yu pupses r da bestest, tu ♥ Hey, I whymed!

I weceibed so many wosettes an' giffs an' stars an' wayer cakes dat my pwofile page r gonna 'SPLODE or sumfing :D I r still wearin' all da pawty hats! Da fudz r mostwy goned, bud if yu hed tu da cafe in da nu wing ob da LWD Cwubhowse, dere r *still* sum turkee dwumstix an' a bid ob birfday cake, bud it r goin' fass! So ged eatin' :D An' fanks fur be so nice tu me, Zaidie, whu r now 5! ♥ ❀ ☀

 

HEY, pupses! Gess where I r!!!

November 30th 2012 9:44 am
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I r at Bob's howse, twainin' a nu herd ob pupses! Momma an' Dadda r in MN, stayin' wif my speshul kids while dere mom an' dere step-dad go moonin' fur hunney...or sumfing :D I did nod want any ob yu pupses or yur peepoles tu be wunnerin' or werryin' an' junk, so I r takin' dis spare nano-second I hab tu chek in an' say hewwo. So, HEWWO :D

I hope eberyone r duin' well. I will chek in when I can, bud I r weally, weally bizzy. Dis r 'Wern How Tu Put On Yur Kilt Without Fwashin' Yur Pwibacy-Pweeze Parts Tu Eberyone' Day! Bob needs take da wefwesher corse :D

Happy Birfday an' Habby Gotcha Day an' Happy DDP Day an' Happy Dog ob da Day tu anyone an' eberyone if I habben tu miss yur speshul day! I wuff yu, pupses ♥

 

~ My Werk R Neber Dunned ~

December 4th 2012 8:13 am
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Dese lil' wascal pubbies r wearin' me down. So far dem hab werned NUFFIN, 'cept fur how oben a bottle ob Scotch. Akchewawwy, dat r da 'portantest fing!!

On da 'genda dis day?? How make ice fur dose whu wike dere Scotch 'on da wocks'. Aftur dat? 'Wern How Make Haggis' Day! OMD, I wish yu pupses cood be here fur dat - da smells wood bwow yur minds!! SOOOO gud :D An' haggis on toast makes a weel 'lishus snack! Bark wif yu later!

 
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