July 29th 2010 3:46 pm
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Lucia left us two weeks after her 11th birthday to await our arrival North of the Rainbow Bridge
November 17th 2004 12:21 pm
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It was the day before my birthday and my Guardian Angel Sandra's Mother invited us over to her house in San Francisco for dinner. Pleasant thought right?
OK, so here is how the day passed. I was off today while Sandra had to work. I baby-sat Lucia and all she did most of the day was sleep. I thought she was just worn out because of still recuperating from her operation.
I was supposed to meet Sandra at her mother's at 5 PM, as Lottie's house is between Sandra's work and our house. Around 4 PM I decide to go out back with Lucia to make her do her business before we left. Well, needless to say she wouldn't do anything. Just sat and stared at me. She has her own outhouse, but that is another story for another day. After about an hour, without her doing anything I get dressed and we head to Lottie's house.
Lucia rode shotgun and was a sweet little lamb all the way to Lottie's. Now when I pull up at Lottie's and get out of my truck to assist what I thought was Sandra's sweet little Lucia out of the truck lo and behold, someone stole our sweet little puppy and switched the Tasmanian Devil on the end of Lucia's leash. I never saw this wild animal before. It took off dragging me behind it causing me to drop all I was trying to carry. "It" screams up the front steps and starts tearing the wrought iron off the front door to Lottie's house.
Now, Lottie is a little sweet lady of about 5 feet tall if she uses a step ladder. This Tasmanian devil just loves Lottie to death, but can bowl little Lottie off her feet.
Soooo still holding on to the leash for dear life, I make it out to the Patio in back and try to settle this whirling dervish down so she won't cause more damage than the Quake of 1906 did to Lottie's house.
On the way through the house Taz, AKA Lucia grabs a paper towel and swallows it before I can get it out of her mouth. We barely make it to the Patio without ripping the carpet up and I think maybe she will settle down. Wrong again! Taz, AKA Lucia is so happy to see her Grandma all she wants to do is lay her paws on Grandma's shoulders and slobber her makeup off. I finally gain control with the help of five pounds of treats.
Since at that time I was a smoker and Sandra is not there yet, I decide I'll just stay on the patio and smoke a cigarette. Lottie is nice enough to let me peruse her evening paper as long as I don't mess it up as she hadn't read it yet. I lay the paper on the floor by my feet as I light a cigarette and enjoy the cool evening air of San Francisco
Wrong again! About this time, Taz, AKA Lucia decides to give her pop a birthday gift a little early and since we all know dogs do not know how to use wrapping paper she says, "What the heck, I'll just use this handy newspaper right here and give George a great gift!"
Well, folks, let me tell ya! What she held in all day was presented to me on a newspaper that wasn't read yet and she couldn't believe how ungrateful I was for her gift to me.
Sandra's Brother and his wife arrive and Taz, AKA Lucia decides to see how high she can jump to slobber wet kisses on these unsuspecting folks! An Aside here, If any one of you have ever owned a Siberian Husky you know they don't just shed, they "Blow" their coat! I brushed her before we left the house, but I must have missed something as Taz, AKA Lucia decides to blow her coat all over these nice folks clothes.
We settle down to eat and usually our little Lucia lays quietly at Sandra's feet awaiting a little handout once in a while. Now, this new beast AKA Tasmanian Devil decides to roam under the table as we ate and it was like being at a seance with the table rising and bobbing about. We knew it was not another earthquake so soon after the one we had last night.
We got through a pleasant dinner and that's when Taz, AKA Lucia decides to do the Siberian Butt Tuck Boogie. I have described this activity to my dear friends before. For the uninitiated, The Siberian Butt Tuck Boogie is a sight to behold.
Think of a 50 pound Jack Rabbit in East Texas running at full tilt to Mexico, but decides to make a hard right and run to the Grande Canyon with enough speed to jump over without a rocket as that amateur Evil Kenival tried a few years ago.
Remember now, we are in Lottie's beautiful house with a beautiful sectional sofa wrapped around two walls. Taz, AKA Lucia used these sectional couches as speed banks such as they use in NASCAR to keep the cars on the track. I had my back to her, but when I heard glass tinkling, and figurines flying and hitting the floor and the thumping of feet hitting pillows and walls I knew exactly what was happening!
I turned to see Sandra flailing away trying to catch flying objects before they hit the floor and trying to catch Taz AKA Lucia! People, I am here to tell ya, when you try to stop a Siberian in the full throes of the Siberian Butt Tuck Boogie, you are entering dangerous territory!
It has never been done and no human has ever survived. You gotta wait 'em out. You gotta wait till they lay the front of their body down with their paws spread wide, Butt high in the air, tongue hanging out about ten inches, then and only then can you make a dive for them hoping they don't fake you out with a dodge to the right as you dive left. Sandra came closer than any human ever has in history! But she failed.
Now, Sandra's brother has a 14 year old stately lady of a Siberian Husky that sleeps 20 hours a day! I could hear him muttering under his breath, "No dog of mine would do those things." I thought, yeah right, but this is a strange new animal known as a Tasmanian devil and none I know of has ever been tamed, or house broken.
About this time I had been embarrassed about as much as I could and wanted to retreat! I made a quiet, gentle offer to Sandra to take Taz, AKA Lucia home with me in my truck. Well, you know how mothers are, (their children can do no wrong) Sandra refused my offer and I was outta there before she could change her mind!
It is now 2:56 AM. Sandra has been in bed for three hours, we have our sweet Lucia back and she is sleeping so much like a little innocent baby on our Leather couch. I just want to go over and squeeze that sweet little pup. I wonder where the hell Sandra switched that darn Tasmanian devil back for our sweet Puppy.
And I wonder if she had to pay Ransom!
November 10th 2004 9:10 pm
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I had just finished with my income tax for the year and have to make a trip to the bank to transfer funds around to cover the checks I just finished writing, and to the Post Office to mail all my money to the IRS. I am feeling pretty low after all the paperwork and the parting of ways with my hard earned money, and think if I take Lucia with me on my errands I might get cheered up a little.
Bad move on my part.
I look over at the couch where our sweet lil' pooch is sleeping on her back with her paws up in the air and think that it's been a while since I’ve taken her anywhere and she might want to go with me.
The minute she hears me coming toward her with the leash she goes into her Siberian Butt Tuck Boogie because she is so excited about getting out and riding shotgun in my truck. I finally snag her and get the leash on and out the door we go.
My intention is to go straight to my truck and let her climb in on my side.
Foolish me, as it was her intention to go inspect every smell along the hedge in front of our house and the fence by the neighbor?s yard. She hunkered down and started to pull me down the sidewalk and along the hedge.
How a 50 pound dog can pull a grown man by a leash beats the heck out of me, but it felt as if my arm was being pulled out of the socket and hurt like all get out.
We thought we could break her from pulling so hard if we put one of those choke chains on her, but that was as effective as thinking a stick of butter would not melt on a banqette (Nawlins speak for sidewalk) in New Orleans during a hot summer day. She just pulls, coughs, pulls and ignores the choke chain as if it didn't exist.
When Lucia wants to go somewhere you'd best be ready, because she is gonna go, come hell or hot water, and she is gonna drag you with her.
After her inspection of the sidewalk and fence, I finally got her aimed toward the truck and with the leash around one wrist I got the door unlocked and she jumped right in. Climbing over the console and half settling down in her shotgun position she starts wooing for me to lower her window so she can stick her snoot out and check the smells as we head to the bank.
I try to keep my Batmobile clean and sparkling, but her drool and snout marks are always with me on the window and windshield of the ol' truck. But I love this ol' dawg and she is spoiled rotten so I ignore all her markings until it's time to get the ol' truck washed again.
My plan is to let her stay in the truck as I use the ATM machine to transfer funds, but she was not acceptable to that. With my hands busy holding the envelope for the deposits and the leash I could not slide out my side and keep her in the truck.
She wanted out and I could hardly stop her. Wrapping the loop of the leash around my wrist, we started off across the parking lot. She hunkered down in double ought Grandma Gear and started pulling my butt across that lot. I am fighting for dear life trying to not drop my envelope with cash in it and holding on to her leash.
Well, I can now well understand why they use Siberian Huskies to pull those sleds in those sled races in Alaska.
The Tasmanian Devil has appeared as I was busy trying to lock my truck and dragged me across that parking lot! Just about to the curb I trip over my shoelace at the same time "Taz" reaches the garden area in front of the Bank. I land on my right side, arm with the leash hooked to the wrist is now three inches longer than the arm holding the bank envelopes.
The Bank did a fine job of making a little garden area with plants and bark chips with a bench for folks to rest on. Lucia, aka "Taz" pulled my big butt through, over, and around that little garden, ripping up plants with the leash and my body, and using me as a bulldozer to scrape up all the chipped bark in that little garden.
I could not let go of her because I could never go home again if she got loose. My Guardian Angel would not take kindly to that, and my other hand was busy hanging onto the bank envelopes.
I finally was saved when she tried to go under the bench. She could make it, but my big butt could not, so we were at a Mexican standoff here. A crowd was gathering from all the shops and bank in the area and I was embarrassed as could be while spitting out chips and trying to get my sweat shirt back on straight.
The folks just stood and laughed because as they said later, they did not want to fool with that Wolf pulling me through the garden. I told them, "The joke was on them, that this animal is a Tasmanian Devil, not a Wolf."
The Bank Manager was real kind to us and said don't worry about the plants, some of them were dead and were gonna be removed any way. We had saved the bank some landscaping dollars by yanking them out by the roots anyway.
I finished my business at the ATM and decided to go home rather than go to the Post Office. The Post Office has a garden too, but the garden they have is all cactus and I wasn't in the mood to go sliding through that one.
I get this Tasmanian Devil in my truck and head back to the safety of home. When we get in the house that old Tasmanian Devil went back to wherever it is he goes to and our sweet lil' pooch Lucia was back where she belongs.
I still have a couple days to get my taxes in the mail, but that is one place neither Lucia, nor the Tasmanian Devil will ever go in my presence, the US Post Office with its' Cactus Garden.
Now, to go get these bark chips out of my boxers!