neurotic humans threaten my good food stuff

So mom heard from her mom who heard from some other ditz that turkey is...drumstick roll...Bad For Dogs. We did a search and there's no credible evidence of this. If one dog died after a turkey dinner who happened to have a loud human companion (or, uh, ball and chain?) this doesn't mean turkey is bad for all of us.

If anyone has credible proof feel free to pass on a link...

Howlidays inching closer

Good news - mom will get to have me on Christmas day and NY day even if she's coming back from work that day - usually she can't because a howliday for a human equals punishment day for a dog in a kennel-type situ. But the Jordan will be in a home-type situ for those days so nothing stops us reuniting at o'dark hundred in the ice, sleet, snow, whatevers. I guess with age I'm increasing my personal power brokerage .. is it called magnetism??

I bolted from the sliding glass door a couple nights ago like I used to. The head of the leash is inside, I am outside, yet with a dynamic lightning bolt of immense terrierism (that's what it is!) me and the entire leash are far and across the lawn, into the molting trees, rummaging around snorting (well, just me, not the leash) and then into the next condo complex ..

That takes 30 secs. Mom is surprisingly adept at reaching there 10 secs after.

Like we've barked about before in this diary, this is the consequence of healthiness. Mom is a sucker because she's not going to take away my healthiness. In fact she's looking for a supply of fresh organ meats to make fresh(er) food for me in the coming days, she's going to have time off and we're going to be, ahem, "energized". Maybe you'll see us around.

come and sniff the changes

Something new: mom goes to sleep early wakes up early (waay early - 3am early?) and we've been going to the park when it's frozen and barely light out. I would've left earlier this morn except mom ignored the nudging of the bells for an hour at least.

Her intent was to go 10 laps around the irregular track of the park.
That didn't last and we were suddenly in the forest, across from the park, past the horses (in this case no horses to be seen but a lit up bull statue) and then on a trail we're usually on when there's no one around.

This time male "joggers" alarmed me. In particular one came between mom & me and had the nerve to look, in silhouette, like mom - same colors, same stomp stomp stomp. If it wasn't mom I was scared and running, if it was her I was going to play run-dash, but it took time to determine who it was (give me a break, it was cold and I was nearly frostbitten in the noggin). It also took mom's calling and bellowing from behind the shadowy figure that chased me like what's-his-face with the pumpkin head (Scrooge?) to know I was running away in the wrong direction. It was the right direction because I was cold and that was the way home but the wrong direction because I'm supposed to bring mom home too - and she was insistent on walking.

Anyhow the conclusion was that men are clueless - he could've stopped and let me get my bearings and see who he was so I could gingerly pass him, or he could've endeavored kindly, as mom's seen some good Samaritans aka women do, to get me to go to the Urgent Voice. I ran so far that I was even out of her line of vision.

Maybe he was truly a bear and I had reason to be frightened of him. Think about it; "clothes" can hide much.

Absolutely Puppies

For some reason mom got a bone in her craw yesterday pondering that where I came from, the quaint un-franchisey puppy store Absolutely Puppies, had been driven out of business.* Although we usually agree a "puppy store" isn't where to get a canine companion, at the time rescues weren't going to give her a dog because of an unfenced yard, their general stupidity and nastiness, and the fact that she was supposed to be with me and I was going to be at Absolutely Puppies...

I was 5 1/2 months old from a small probably backyard breeder on the east coast.

I've never had a health, personality, or behavior issue - the last two probably because mom knew a dog doesn't come installed with perfection and trained me, was patient, and took responsibility. Yes.

She thinks A.P. was an easy target of the crazed witch hunters we've developed in this country .. so-called animal rights humans. It's a misnomer and they should be called human-hating humans. They weren't going to go after industrial-size and strength puppy mills because those have expensive and talented lawyers who would send one letter and that'd be the end of the harrassment. They were going to go after a place that, yes, sold puppies outside the home, purebreds, mixed "designer" breeds, for mucho $$$, but in the end was really defenseless: a woman-owned family-run small business.

When people get hysterical about what they assume is happening they unfortunately let grander and not so sensationalized (because it isn't public) animal exploitation go unchecked .. they're wasting their time and energy. Mom knows the breeders at home, the ones in the paper, are just as if not more lame than A.P. was. Who are these crusaders kidding? We're losing freedoms due to the hate bubble some create in their heads and feed, to the point where they're adamant their worst suspicions are fact and they conclude the trial before it begins ..

Jordan,
bestest Dog ever,
tinkling till the soapbox is saturated

* happened abt two years ago.

We're having a yellow Christmas....

I bestowed upon the minions of Dogster's a few minutes of my time so I could re-install my Christmas portrait. It's very cute. However it's also very hidden. Because we are not premium members any longer and mom says over her dead body we're giving the site $20 to get in there and re-sort the photos.

So...in my land it will remain bountiful yellow dandelion holiday season. I guess there is probably a song in there for folk with a lot of leisure time on their paws.

P.s., I'm still exactly the same dog .. although I am a little bit more of the same dog. Mom is tempted to run it off of me all on the same day, because she has a week off and could probably return me to a stabilized condition on the days after she did so. Only if she does it to herself too .. because I am not the only one with a "love barrel".

I'll have you know I'm still a puppy

Today we went to the park. Very late when it was dark and I had blinky collar on which worked about half the time. Mom started laps and I started dashing, here and there, to this tree, that tree, that bush, that pole, that tantalizing dog on a leash. I've been getting alot to eat and alot of loving and am healthy, big, and wooly too.

I hadn't reminded mom how well my jaws work for a long time. She had the biting gloves on and I went to town; reach up, grab on, sink deep, tug. This was in between sessions of being The White Bullet.

So.....as she contemplates that I could be almost halfway done with my life I reveal other plans: I am still a puppy.

There are puppies on the computer too - mom calls them available-24-hrs-a-day therapists. I think they are really chipmunks inside the modem. Yes.

http://cdn1.ustream.tv/swf/4/viewer.45.swf?cid=31701 6

- To get the link to work remove the space between the 1 and 6 after c&p'ing it .. Dogster is fond of adding spaces.

Yeah!!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27556259/

'Pets and presidents just go together. Only three of the 43 presidents, in fact, have not had a pet: Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce and Chester Alan Arthur — none of whom has been treated kindly by presidential historians.

None other than Calvin Coolidge — who was not known as “Silent Cal” for his levity — remarked, “Any man who does not like dogs and want them about does not deserve to be in the White House.” '

The most excitement I had this summer contained in a 20 sec.- vid

See 'Svimming 08'.

Really I came to my page under direct coercion from mom who said we must remove the joke about my voting Republican so dogs and intelligent humans can give us rosettes again.

sniff
sniff

Nothing scentastic or edible around, wake me in Dec.,

Jordan

Back in the top 15

Mom finally took and edited a good pic of me. I'm back in the running after being beat out by some pics she took that WEREN'T of me (imagine?). Still, the slug is ahead. The smoking monk, who seems untoppleable, is ahead. Humans: their taste is inexplicable.

Speaking of which, are you trying to kill me with Febreze collars? I don't remember pawwing a contract with Febreze and want a collar from them only if it smells like my ass or dead animals.

Respectfully,
J.

Bird Bizness

It took me awhile but think I'm getting it. The robins, two of em, set up a business in the tree. They did it when we were gone for five days. Birds probably have lesser memory than me and assumed we'd left forever, hence all the birds might show up at their store unperturbed. Crafty, yet without long-term vision.

They'll have to adjust because we come and go. If mom & I stay in the backyard the one with strutty chest and puffy head paces in the grass. Mom aims her longest lens at him. She's taking advantage that he won't leave without making his worm deposit but he's too scared, if we're there, to fly on up to the store...the one called momma bird is less afraid.

There's new chittering in the store. I sometimes stare and wonder what the hell's going on in worlds that aren't my worlds. Then..I wonder if they're edible because that chittering is telling me to investigate and chow down. Such is life for an intelligent carnibal. Unfortunately and cruelly this barrel-chested dog meant to dig can't climb even the shortest tree...I make up for it by bolting out and chasing that puffy-headed bouffant worm-luggin' bird when I can.