Squeaky Clean

Rrrufff!!

I think I may have the dirtiest face on earth. I'm not really sure how it gets so dirty, but it sure is hard to keep it clean.

Luckily, I have Sophie Rose. Every night, whether I want her to or not, she cleans my face. To make matters worse, she has the worst timing in the world. Sophie always waits until I'm in the middle of my evening nap.

There I am, just snoozing away, completely happy in my mom's lap. Next thing I know, Sophie is sitting on me, holding my face down with one paw, licking my face.

Grrrrrrrr. GRRRRRRR. GRRRRRR!!! Seriously. What part of GRRRRRR doesn't she understand???

I really hate it when she does that!

I'm just not sure where all this dirt is coming from. We both go outside and come right back in. We both roll around on the floor in the living room. We eat the same food. We live with the same people. How on earth can Sophie's face stay so pristine, while my face stays filthy???


I'd better go prepare for the daily cleansing.

Bandit

Tough Guy

Rrrufff!!!

This past weekend, I went camping with my family. It was a pretty good time.
We took a long car ride. I fell asleep in mom's arms until Bailey and his big butt decided that he wanted to sit there. He sat right on me! I can take a hint, so I just sat on the thingy between the two front seats.

My "sister" Jennifer came with baby Rachel and Tyler and uncle Chris. It was okay at first. Then, the kids started getting on my nerves, so Lori came down and recued me. She took me down to her camper, where Bailey and Sophie nearly smooshed me, they were so happy to see me. You would have thought I had been gone for 100 years!
Lori took us for a lonnnnnnng walk around the campground. Lots of dogs and people to bark at. I did what I could.
When we got back to the camper, I was pretty tired, so I was happy to go to bed.

On Sunday, Lori took me back to my mom's camper so we could have breakfast. Afterwards, mom decided to take me for a little walk. It turns out, it was a good thing I was with her.

This ginormous chocolate Lab tried to attack us!!! It was okay, though...I put on my tough guy routine and it stopped him in his tracks. I'm pretty sure he won't be messing with us again!

Of course, maybe I embellished the story just a little, or a lot, depending on the angle you are looking at it from...We were walking along, when I spotted him...Duke is his name. He was lounging up near the door to his camper. I gave him my most ferocious growl. I apparently don't speak Lab, because, instead of cowering in fear, he hoisted himself off the ground and moseyed on over to have a looksee. I began barking. My bark, of course, is mostly used to pierce the eardrums of my attacker. Apparently, Duke is about 15 years old, so his eardrums weren't bothered by my shrieking in the least. He just kept coming. Then...he sniffed me...

Then...the screaming began.

Lori came flying out of the camper (where she was washing the breakfast dishes). She thought something had a hold of me. Duke had practically inhaled me, so it wasn't like I was screaming for nothing!

Duke's dad finally called off the assault. But, by then, the damage was done. My mom's ears were bleeding from the sound of my screaming(not really, but it was touch and go there for a while). If Duke had just understood my growl, we could have avoided the whole ugly episode.

Bandit

Happy Birthday to ME!!

Rrrufff!!!

It's official, I am 1-year old, today!!

Wooohoooo!! Happy birthday to me! Bring on the cake and the presents!

I've never celebrated my birthday before. Are you suppose to celebrate it by staying home alone all day??? That's what I'm doing. Okay, so Sophie and Bailey are here, but the rest of my family is gone. Lori's at work and my mom and dad are out of town.

You heard right. My mom left me all alone on my birthday. She's going to be home tomorrow night, but by then, my birthday will have passed. How many times does your only dog turn a year old???

I've done the math repeatedly, and, even though I really don't know how to count, I figured that this is the only day I will ever turn 1 year old!!

Lori is at work. She could have taken the day off, for Dog's sake. Instead, she woke me up at the crack of dawn and left, saying that we would have cake when she got home. I thought it was a better plan for her to just leave the cake on the table where I could enjoy it throughout the day, but Lori didn't agree.

I think, later, when she offers me a piece of cake, I will turn my nose up at it.

Like that's ever going to happen. I'll Hoover it down and go back for more.

Bandit

Shoe Laces

Rrrrufff!!!

On Wednesday, my friends, I will no longer be a puppy. That's right. I'm going to be a d-o-g. A one-year-old d-o-g!! Happy birthday to me!!!

In my one year on the planet, I have learned a lot. I think the most important piece of knowledge I have gained is that shoe laces are wonderful things!

More specifically, the ends of shoe laces...shoe lace thingeys, if you will...are wonderful things.

I like to chew on that hard plastic thingey that finishes off the shoe lace. I know, some of you go for the entire shoe, but I don't do that. For one thing, most shoes are bigger than my whole body. For another thing, I would think that by eating an entire shoe, you risk the chance of being kennelized. That's not a good thing.

I sneak up on unsuspecting shoe wearers in my house and gently grab the end of a lace and give it a little tug. If the shoe wearer doesn't react, I go ahead and start gnawing. Generally, by the time the shoe wearer figures out what has happened, I've already moved on. They are usually left with an untied shoe with the plastic thingey chewed off of one end of the lace.

I'm equal opportunity. I don't care if the laces are old or new, black or white. I just chew away.

I found a tasty little morsel on the ground just this past weekend. A brand, spanking new, tasty little morsel. Lori was a little bit mad at me when she saw what I did to her new tennis shoes. She just bought them a week ago and only wore them two or three times. Now, one of the formerly pristine shoe laces is (in her words) ruined. She wasn't even wearing the shoes at the time!!

If you see a shoe with laces, trust me, you've got to try this!

Bandit

Identity Crisis

Woof!!

I'm having an identity crisis of sort (as you can tell by my greeting, I'm not quite sure who I am anymore)...

My mom, who I was adopted by several moons ago, isn't sure if she's my mom anymore. Well, she's still sure, I'm actually the one who is having the issue.

When my mom is sitting in the living room, watching TV, I can be found curled up at her feet. The only thing is..."her" is Lori, who is usually in the computer room (I am curled up in "her" lap right now). My mom will call and call me, and I will blink nary an eye. But, if Lori should get up and walk out of the room, I am right behind her.

If Lori is sitting in the living room, watching TV, I am usually curled up in her lap, even though my mom is sitting in the chair next to her.

When Lori goes to bed at night, I cry at her door, while my mom sits in the living room, calling to me and telling me to hush. Sometimes Lori lets me in, other times, she doesn't and I give up and go out into the living room to pout.


The other day, my mom had gone somewhere. When she came to the door, I got really excited. Jumping up and down and following her through the house. We were in the hallway (the one with the slippery hardwood floors), when I heard Lori's voice. She had come in a couple of moments after mom. I turned in mid-jump and attempted to fly down the hallway to greet Lori. It wasn't easy, as my feet went in all different directions when they hit the floor, but I managed.


My mom thinks it has something to do with the Yip Yaps. Lori keeps them in her room and gives me, Bailey and Sophie Rose one each at bedtime (it's like a little bone-shaped mint). I absolutely adore Yip Yaps, it's true, but I don't really believe that it has anything to do with my love of Lori. Okay, so maybe it has a little bit to do with it...they are really, really good.

I think it's more about the fact that Lori can get on the floor and play with me and the other "kids". My mom isn't really able to do that, because of someone named Arthur Itis. I don't know who he is, but I wish he would leave my mom alone so she could play with me more. Lori plays with us almost every night. I LOVE to play. It's my most favorite thing to do next to sleeping, eating and getting Yip Yaps.


My identity crisis is starting to affect the way I look, too. My hair is starting to grow on top of my head. I don't think it's suppose to do that! It's suppose to be short there and long everywhere else. Lori was making fun of me this evening, pulling it up and calling it a mohawk. Nice. Real nice.


Mom says this isn't the first time Lori has "stolen" a dog from her. Bailey was mom's dog and Lori "stole" him from her a couple of days after they adopted him. Lori didn't even want a Jack Russell. She tried to talk my mom out of it, but mom wouldn't hear it. She got Bailey and within a couple of days Lori had the nerve to say to her, "You really should have gotten yourself a dog!"

This obviously isn't my fault. Oh well, I'm sure it will all work out.

Bandit

Protector of the Universe

Rrrufff!!

Yesterday, my mom and I went over to my sister Jennifer's house to babysit the kids while Jen went to the hair salon. I don't go over there too often, because the kids are just a bit too active for me.

I had gotten cozy on mom's lap when I heard an intruder at the back door. As mom's sole protector, I leapt into action.

I ran to the back door and barked. The intruder didn't give up. Instead, she entered the house. That's when the screaming began!

Okay, so I was the one screaming like a Banshee (yet again), but it's louder than and more ear-piercing than my bark.

This didn't stop the intruder. She came up into the house and proceeded to chase me. I ran into the living room barking my head off, ears back, tail tucked between my legs.

The intruder then picked me up. That's right. She picked me up!!!

I don't like to be handled by strangers, so I really didn't appreciate this. I growled, barked and snapped at my captor.

All she did was laugh at me and say there was no way I was going to keep her from coming into her own house.

That's when it occurred to me that the intruder was Jennifer. Her hair looked different and her face was a bit pink from being outside in the cold air.

This was only a test of the Emergency Papillon Network. This was only a test. If this had been an actual emergency, we would have been in serious doo-doo!!

Bandit

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Rrrruffff!!

I enjoy sleeping so much. When I'm not a blur of activity, I can be found snoozing. It doesn't matter where, the most comfortable doggie bed, the least comfortable doggie bed, on the floor, on the couch or on my mom's lap. I can sleep anywhere. I can also sleep in any position, curled up in a ball, flipped up on my back or with my head in the bed and the rest of me on the floor.

I love to sleep.

Know what I don't like???


I don't like it when I am snoozing away, so comfortable that I forget where I am, and someone wakes me up because they don't think I look comfortable!!

This happened last night. I was curled up on Lori's pillow. I was sound asleep and happy. Lori decided I looked cold. Hello. It's called fur...heard of it??? She covered me with a baby blanket. I guess that wasn't good enough. She actually decided to lift me up and wrap the blanket around me a little.

You wanna make me mad??? Wake me up, I dare you.


GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

I tried to take her arm off, but since I was still half-asleep, I ended up just growling ferociously at her. I believe she may have been a tiny bit afraid. She didn't stop what she was doing, but I could see it in her eyes.

Seriously, if I'm asleep, chances are good that I'm not uncomfortable, I'm not cold and I'm going to be really, really ticked off if disturbed!!

Bandit

Snow...Glorious Snow!!!

Rrrufff!!

We got more snow!!! OMD!! We got more snow!!

The snow we had before Christmas somehow disappeared. I went out in the morning one day, it was still there. Later in the afternoon, it was still there, but there was less of it. By the next day, it was all but gone (could be because the temperature was near 60 degrees that day). But, the skies opened up last night and all day today, and the snow is back in town!!!

Snow is like the best stuff ever!!! I like to burrow through it, nose first. Sure, you can get brain freeze, but that's just part of the experience, man!

This evening, as Lori and my dad were outside clearing the driveway, I was watching from the front door. Mom was watching with me. When Lori spotted me, she told mom to let me out. Wooohoooo!!

Lori said it looked like I was doing the breast stroke. Excuse me...it was the Butterfly (or Papillon) stroke! BOL!!!

The snow was really deep and really powdery. I hopped and burrowed and ran through it with a big ole grin on my face. Bailey and Sophie Rose came out too, but they've got no endurance, so they went right back to the door. Not me. I would have stayed out longer, frolicking in the fresh powder, but Lori decided she couldn't watch me and shovel at the same time (she's not much of a multi-tasker, if you ask me), so I got sent back inside.

When Lori and dad came inside, I went to work as the clean-up crew, munching on the snow they tracked in. It's not really as good as the fresh stuff you find outside, but it runs a close second.

Ever since I joined the family back in July, my dad has been telling people that I am a miniature St. Bernard because of my markings. I guess my reaction to snow has him wondering if maybe he wasn't so far off the mark.

Bandit

Things I've Learned

Rrruff!!

I've noticed that the humanoids have been getting a little sentimental about the end of this year. They seem to want to reflect on things that have happened and anything they learned from their experiences. I thought I'd do the same thing

1. Leaving home can be scary, but it can also be a good thing. I was a bit nervous when I left the comfort of my old home. My canine mom and dad were there and I was used to the lady that took care of us. I was sad when these new people picked me up and took me away in their car. But, I think it turned out alright. I'm as spoiled as any dog could ever want to be and I'm loved by everyone.

2. If you love something, grab it and run with it. This is important when you live with two Jack Russells, because usually if I love something, they will also love it and will try like heck to take it from me.

3. Table surfing is okay, as long as you don't get caught. I haven't quite mastered the second part of this, but I am getting better at it. You just never know what you might find on the table, so it is better to get caught trying than to go through your life wondering what's up there.

4. It is important to shred important looking documents...and newspaper...and any other paper you find on the ground. Identity theives are lurking everywhere. You can never be too careful. Any piece of paper I find on the ground (or on the table [see Number 3] )must be shredded.

5. Children are great, from a distance, a LONG distance. I love kids as much as the next guy. Okay, so maybe that was stretching the truth a bit. I like it when my mom talks to my sister Jennifer on the phone about her kids. That's about as close as I like to get to them, although I do enjoy licking baby Rachel's face (she kind of tastes like apples and Cheerios). But, that only lasts a couple of seconds, then I'm done and she can go home.

6. Strangers are not to be trusted, I don't care if I know them or not! If they don't live in my house or Jennifer's house, they are a STRANGER. If someone is a stranger, they don't need to get in my face and make kissy noises or try to pet me. We are not going to be BFFs.

7. Shredding the rug by the front door is fun. Not only that, it sort of deters my family from allowing "strangers" aka their friends from coming in.

8. Goodies are the best thing on the planet. Need I say more?

9. Chewing on a rawhide is fine, but chewing on Sophie's ear is better. For some reason, I just can't resist chewing on her ears. They are so soft and warm. She doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she even lets me chew on her ears while she is chewing on a bone!! Bailey would never go for that!

10. Why walk, when you can be carried? I don't walk on a leash, oh no, I don't. If my mom wants me to go somewhere with her, she'd better be prepared to carry me. They can't seem to find a collar small enough for me and I refuse to wear a harness, so there's nowhere to hook a leash anyhow.

This isn't an all inclusive list, just some things I've picked up along the way since adopting my furever family. I guess I'm ready to see what 2009 has in store for me.

Bandit

A Visit With St. Nick

Rrruff!!!

(Think "Jingle Bells")

Dashing to the mall
In a little red Escape
Down I-94
Barking all the way
Woof! Woof! Woof!

Sat on Santa's lap
Shaking like a leaf
Bailey tried to eat a pug
And Sophie barked some more!

Oh, don't wanna go, don't wanna go
Don't wanna go to the mall
Disliked Santa very much
And now I need therapy!


That's right boys and girls, I got to visit with Santa earlier this week. Let's just say, it wasn't a pleasant experience for me.

I don't like strangers. That's not a secret. With this in mind, you would think my dad wouldn't just hand me off to some guy in a red suit, I don't care how jolly he seemed!! But, that's what happened.

We went to the mall in Ann Arbor. As soon as we walked in the doors and I saw all the people walking around, I started shaking. We found where the big guy was sitting, Bailey tried to eat a pug standing in line, then dad put me on Santa's lap while Sophie barked her head off at all the people. (Okay, so maybe Bailey just looked at the pug, but we could all tell what he was thinking, which is why Lori pulled him back)

A few flashes later and it was all over (the photos, that is). Then, we had to stand in another line to get the photos.

To add insult to injury, some lady thought I was a cat!! A CAT!!!! She saw Bailey and Sophie (who was still barking at people) and said, "Oh, you've got two dogs, how cute!" Then dad, who was holding me, told her "actually we've got three." The lady said, "oops! I thought you were holding a cat."
If I wasn't so freaked out by the whole situation, I would have gotten down and peed on her foot! A cat!!! Hmph!!!

Photos in hand, we headed for the exit. On the way, Bailey tried to eat a pit bull. (Okay, so they were just eyeballing each other...but we could all tell what they were thinking)

I was very happy when we finally got home!!

Bandit