July 17th 2008 6:25 pm
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Uh-oh. Someone has provoked the bull. Guess who? Those JUDGES on AMERICA'S GREATEST DOG! They're RIDICULOUS! Mummy and I JUST got done watching it and HATED to see what poor Bella Starlet and her Mummy had to experience! Don't know what I'm talking about?
THE JUDGES SAID DOGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO WEAR CLOTHES.
WHAT. THE. HECK.
Since when do my cute little outfits keep me from communicating with other dogs? I am a very friendly gal, and if I spot you and you're a dog, instant buddies. Just add water. Personally, my clothes have only gotten me MORE attention-from people and dogs alike! And I THRIVE on attention. Really. If I went a day without attention I couldn't live anymore.
And another reason I MUST wear clothes is because...well, it's REALLY embarrassing, so cross you're heart, hope to die, stick a needle in your eye if you tell...People have mistaken me as a BOY dog. I guess salt n' pepper with luscious hair is masculine. Who knew?
Mummy started getting fed up with the gender-mistakes. So she got an idea: to make me as doggishly girly as possible! She started with a new collar. A pink collar with purple butterflies and pink flowers. And my ID tag is shaped like a big, red heart. But I guess it wasn't noticeable enough, because someone STILL managed to call me a he. How OFFENSIVE.
So, she pulled out some clothes. A black tank with gold sequins around the edges. A pink jersey-tee with a sparkly bunny on it. A yellow tee with pink butterflies that says "Social Butterfly" on it (describing me perfectly!). A green coat with faux-sheep wool on it and little black buttons. A cutesy sweater for each of the holidays.
And it WORKED! Viola. Instant girl. Instant Diva. Instant ME.
And I LOVE the attention.
So, America's Greatest Dog, you are sorely mistaken. Beautifying us stunning dogs is in no way mean to us. In fact, it's doing us a big ol' fashioned favor. We communicate with our ears, tail, and body positions FLAWLESSLY with our fab outfits.
Mummy and I are cheering for you, Bella Starlet!
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