Mommy has a blog.

It's true. She talks about us there. Along with all sorts of other wacky stuff- like past lives and psychic abilities. Join us there, please.


Stark Raving Zen

http://starkravingzen.blogspot.com/
(In case the link doesn't work!)


She writes about what Finlay and I think and do, as well as babble a lot about her tendencies to read energy fields and "come alive" and psycho/psychic fun... well, you'll understand when you get there. It's crazy fun sometimes. Sometimes it's dark. Kind of like life in general.

And, it's going to be the basis of a real live television show in your up and coming future. You may has well get a sneak peak.

Carry on pups! We look forward to feeling your energy there!

Yours,
Arya

I have no golden toilet.

Today I hide under the dining room table. Weeping. Earlier this morning I received a stern talking to for urinating on the carpet. It is this that troubles me. Suddenly the expectation is that I commence my royal doodies in the frigid elements of this frozen land of Norsk unrighteousness. What is a desert princess to do? I don't dip my hoo hoo in the niveous blanket of winter's insults for anyone!

That, and I have no digital image recordings of my holiday attire. That blows too.

Don't believe what you see!

I'm much bigger than this! Really! My page stinks! It's an abomination! I'm so embarrassed!

But.... I don't have the energy to make it better right now. Tough day at puppy play care. I had a shiba inu in my face for hours. Damn Japanese are so tenacious with me. I'll rev up after a nice rest and punish Mommy first thing in the morning. I promise.

Immoral shadows...

Arya: "What unholy form of black magic be this?!"

Mommy: "It's your reflection, Arya. It won't hurt you. Finlay tries to play with his. He wags his tail when they meet. "

Arya: "I play not with demons!!" Arya hops sideways and refuses eye contact with the ephemeral beings. She growls.

Mommy: (suppressing a laugh) "Arya! That's you and me! See? When I crouch, the lady crouches."

Arya: (aghast) "She mocks you!! Blast that irreverent beast!" Arya is emboldened by her anger and furiously paws at the reflection. "Come out here and face me like a civilized dog, you spectre of all things immoral!"

Mommy: "Clearly you're too irascible for reason." Arya is encouraged to come inside. Mommy pulls her away from the window.

Arya: (yells all the way inside...) "I know where your portal to the damned is now, you flickering abomination!! You will feel my wrath! You've no idea with whom you reckon!"

Arya is successfully herded into the safe confines of the non-reflective interior.

Arya: "Do you think when Finlay receives his black collar by Master Finknottle that he will be able to battle the spectres?"

Mommy: "Finlay likes the reflections, Arya. He doesn't want to battle them."

Arya: "WEAKNESS! SPINELESS! Unforgiveable! He's too weak to do battle with the goulish incubus! I need to be trained by Master Finknottle! I am the only one who recognizes the danger here!"

Mommy: "Arya...? Are you sure you're not just a little afraid of them? Just a little....?"

Arya: "Blasphemous! Doesn't deserve a response! Now where's my smudge stick. There's something in need of a good smudging."

Mommy: "Finlay ate it."

Arya: "Of all the evil.... He's clearly one of them! Now I shall sleep, in order to rid my mind of the demons that surround me. And I'd like to sleep in your lap. You know... to protect you."

Mommy kisses baby Arya on the top of her silky little head and makes room for her little warrior to curl up with her. Finlay yawns loudly, shakes his head, and goes securely back to sleep.

He has no demons to trouble him.

You can call me Cujo.

Do you know what else you can poo on? The MN Renaissance Fair. That's right. I poo and potty on the MN Renaissance Fair. Mommy took me there on Sunday with Amanda and Marilyn. When I arrived, some gross man pretended to hit me with a hammer. Then when we got up to the gate, a lady from far above yelled down to Mommy, "Yew wit' the Pet! Ovah to the Pet doah!" and pointed away. So Mommy strolled over in that direction and read the fine print. I was not eligible to attend. Seems I needed to be vaccinated for that which I was not old enough. The cursed Rabies virus... Well, I was mad as a Rabid bat, when they turned me away. Mommy maintained her cool. Rules are rules, and it was her fault for not researching the details before we arrived, after all. (Had she known, she would have just brought Finlay's tag! There hasn't been a case of Rabies in MN for two decades or more.) So we sent Amanda and Marilyn inside the gates, while we waited for Daddy to come rescue me. Turns out, Mommy thinks it was a blessing in disguise. Although she wanted me there for the excellent socialization opportunity, once she got in she was reminded of the extent of the craziness which ensues. It is very likely that I would have been overwhelmed and unhappy. Oh well. She bought Finlay and me some nice treats. And Amanda found Gussie Finknottle an excellent addition to her wardrobe. We are anxiously awaiting her modeling of it on her Dogster page. If you thought the world was a frightening place before, you just wait... You will very likely have nightmares at the thought of Gussie unleashed with her new sartorial reinforcement. There'll be no stopping her now... Darth Cheney's a gonner for sure.

This I cannot tolerate.

Finlay thinks he's the chosen one?! I'm the chosen one! I am! Why else would I have been born with the Buddist Eyelashes! Why else would Mommy have given me a sparkly silver collar today?!

(Mommy: "Because you grew out of your pink one, and I had to give you one of Seva's hand me downs until I get you another...")

Poo on that! I have a sparkly silver collar because I'm to be Finknottle's student! That's why! Poo on Finlay! Poo on Mommy!

I have Updates too!

1.) Finlay is still gassy.
2.) Finlay is still selfish.
3.) Finlay still tries to crush my tiny head every once in awhile.
4.) Finlay tried to hump me yesterday. (As IF...!)
5.) Finlay still gets to roam the house, while I am caged like a zoo freak animal, when we're alone. (Bastards!)
6.) I am not OCD and have no problem stopping my list at 6. I'm tired and need my beauty rest.

I'm still exhausted!

It was so fun! Fun! I ran myself ragged! We had guests all weekend. Never had such a rollicking good time! We went for a long walk in the woods and I wanted to follow Star, I wanted to insert my nose up Winnie's bum, and I wanted to tackle Tim and bring him down by his neck! It would have been so fun! When Star noticed me, she chased me, which I didn't find fun. In fact, Finlay had to come to my rescue a couple of times when our game of chase prooved too exhilerating. Winnie did not allow me to insert my nose up her bum, and Tim had no desire to be brought down by his neck... But even though everything didn't go entirely my way, I still had fun! Mainly because Finlay's selfishness was diluted 4 ways, which made the possibility of stealing all of my toys unlikely.

A most elegant equation...

Daddy's somewhat of a whiz at math. He thinks by having me work algebraic equations, it will stimulate my mind, thus making me less prone to fits of spoiled rage. I guess they're okay. I have no opposition to them. Allow me to continue...

(Me)(Finlay) * (Mommy)(Daddy)= (Me)(Daddy)= Me!

(Finlay's bed)(My bed) * (Mommy's bed)(Daddy's bed)= My Bed!

(My food)(Finlay's food) * (Mommy's food)(Daddy's food)= All My Food!

See? I'm feeling more relaxed already!

The curse of the braggart.

If 100% potty trained means four accidents in the house over the past 14 hours, then I am definitely that! Oh well. On with the battle; winning the war.

Yours in lovey, but sometimes bitey;
Arya