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Dixie (Our Special Angel)

RAINBOW BRIDGE DAY 2009

My sweet angel.... I know it's been a while since I posted to your diary. Losing you has been the toughest thing I have ever had to deal with. Tears are shed for you all to often, even still nearly every day. We miss you so very much and hope that you still know how dearly loved you are. It's hard to believe that you've been gone from us nearly 18 months now, it still seems like only yesterday that you left us. Do you hear us when we talk to you or about you? Occasionally I still catch Trixie Mae looking towards the family room and hear her whine, is that you she sees still? I certainly hope that is so and that you stop in to check on her and watch over her from time to time.

I hope you got the balloons we sent up to you Saturday along with Cherokee, Puddin', Kobie and the many others we sent for the pups we know are with you at Rainbow Bridge. I just wanted to be sure you to know we still think of you every day and we still miss and love you so very much. I hope you are having fun at the Bridge playing with all your family furiends and all the new furiends that I am sure you have met while you wait for us to join you. I look forward to the day when we will finally all be together again.

Missing you much and loving you more,
Mommy
xoxoxoxox

More Sad News

Dixie's best friend Puddin went to Rainbow Bridge sometime during last night. Her Mom called us this evening to tell us the sad news. She's not sure what exactly was wrong, but said that Puddin had seemed to have been shivering the last couple days. But she wasn't able to take Puddin to the doctor to have her checked yet with the holiday and the weekend and all. We are so sad here, and almost a year to the day that our Dixie left us for Rainbow Bridge. But we know that the bestest friends are at last together again.

We will miss you sweet Puddin. Rest in Peace sweet Pudda Pud, we love you!

Dixie's Family

** MY STORY..... **

In early May of 2006 Dixie developed what appeared to be some allergy issues and then in June the breathing problems started. She very visably had problems breathing, more so when it got hot and humid outside. We took her to the vet ( a 24 hour hospital with numerous vets) 3 times in a 2 week period, all for breathing problems. She never saw the same vet twice and each time they would put her on several different meds that helped a little, but really didn't seem to help all that much or solve the problem. Eventually after several more vet checks the problems seemed to finally subside around September with the weather change. Unfortunately for us, we now have found out that the allergies and breathing problems were never really treated correctly, but were never really treated as though it was a concern by her vet, evidently they felt they were not bad enough to warrant fully diagnosing and treating and she had been in numerous times for them her last two years with us. Her vets never even mentioned to us that there was an ongoing bronchitis and asthma problem going on with her. We found too late that it was written on her records, but we were never given any copy of those records to view at the time of her visits. Then on December 19, 2007 just before Christmas, Dixie at only 9-1/2 years old, seemed very warm to us and hadn't eaten much for the better part of the day, we rushed her to the vet. As it ended up, we were correct, she was running a fever and she was also having problems breathing again, this time her breathing was very labored, worse than we had ever seen it and she wasn't eating or drinking either. Her vet told us after taking abdominal xrays that she "thought" Dixie might have a kidney stone that was very vague on the xray and she was convinced that her breathing problem was "probably because she was in pain not due to anything else". The vet, yet another new one there, never did bothered to check her records to see that there was a history with breathing problems. They kept her overnight, did more abdominal xrays, more blood work, urine tests and finally an abdominal ultra-sound only to find nothing and sent her home on the evening of December 20th telling us that they didn't know what caused the problem but that she seemed to be better and they could find nothing else wrong with her. I questioned the breathing problem and was again told that she was fine and the labored breathing was "probably just due to whatever pain she had been experiencing for whatever the problem had been". On December 27th the breathing problems seemed like they were starting all over again, she wasn't eating much, hardly drinking but it seemed to subside by that evening. On the evening of December 28th it started again and was worse than the previous day, she was eating even less but was still drinking water, but because of what her vets had told us we just figured it would again pass. By late morning on the 29th the breathing was worse, she had given up eating all together the night before and had now quit drinking anything. We were panicked because we knew what we would be told if we took her back to her regular hospital. So we took her to another emergency hospital we knew of with specialists that we felt might be able to actually help. When we got there they immediately took Dixie from us and did a chest xray and told us she was already in 2nd stage pneumonia and becoming dehydrated and she was immediately put on antibiotics and fluids. On Sunday morning her internal medicine specialist called, told us that Dixie had been in an oxygen tent overnight and that her blood oxygen level was going back and forth, then asked why her regular vet had never treated the issues noted on her records (copies that I had obtained on December 26th to take to another vet to get a second opinion) of bronchitis and asthma, I told her they never told us there were any problems with Dixie's lungs, she told us it was clearly noted in the diagnosis section on her records from several previous visits, we told her we had just obtained the copies and had not had a chance to review them ourselves but we were never told on any of her visits that there was any cause to be concerned with her health. We were stunned and angry to put it mildly. We asked if there was anything could be done to help Dixie in her current state and she told us she wanted to do one more test that would give her a better idea of the condition of Dixie's lungs, we agreed to the test. She called a short time later and told us that while doing the test Dixie's oxygen level had gone back up, she said that there was some signs of lung disease but until the test results came back she wasn't sure how far we needed to go to treat this, the specialist was guardedly optimistic but felt she could help Dixie. We asked if we needed to start thinking about letting Dixie go and she said "let's not think about that right now, lets see what the next couple days show after treatments". She told us that if she could turn this around that Dixie would most likely be put on medications to keep everything in check and that Dixie could still have many more years with us. The internal medicine specialist put her in ICU on heavy antibiotics, fluids, and intravenous food in the early morning on Sunday the 30th and asked if we would wait to visit her till Monday so they could keep her on the meds and fluids non-stop. On New Year's Eve morning we got a call from Dixie's nurse that she was doing ok but she still wasn't eating or drinking anything herself and she also told us that she had been in a oxygen tent overnight again because her blood oxygen level kept dropping. We knew that was not a good sign. As soon as I could get out of work we went over to see her, it was about 2:30 pm and when they brought her in to see us she brightened up and her tail started wagging, she was so happy to see us, but it just about killed us to see her breathing condition. The breathing problem was 100 times worse than when we had left her on the 29th and the specialist told us that was what she had come in to on Sunday morning before she first called us. We told her that it was so much worse than when we had brought her in and asked what she felt the prognosis would be, because we couldn't bear to see her in such distress. After talking with her and looking at chest xrays, she finally told us that Dixie's lungs were collapsing as a result of the allergies that led to chronic bronchitis and asthma and eventually the lung disease and that she didn't think it could be reversed enough to give her a good quality of life. Dixie's breathing was so labored that you could tell she was exhausted just trying to breathe, she was spending every ounce of energy just trying to get a breath and she wouldn't eat or drink anything we tried to give her either. We were so upset and it pained us to see her in that condition. We loved her so much and didn't want to let her go, we knew she was trying to hold on for us, but we also knew that if we truly loved her that we couldn't let her go on that way, not eating or drinking or being able to breathe. She was basically starving because she didn't have the energy left to eat or drink and still wasn't able to catch a decent breath, this was very obviously not giving her any quality of life. We always said if there was no quality of life that we wouldn't let her suffer. At 3:45 pm on December 31st 2007, we made the most heart wrenching and difficult decision of our lives to let her go to Rainbow Bridge to wait for us. It was the hardest thing we ever had to do. I held her cuddled in my arms, whispering in her ear how much we loved her, with her daddy stroking her little head when she passed at 4:15 pm. I cried harder than I've ever cried before in my life and it hurt so bad to see her go. God sent this sweet baby to us to love and take care of for him for a time and now he has called her back to him. We know she is now pain free, breathing well and full of energy. But, I still cry for her nearly every day and think about her almost every waking moment. We still miss her terribly and I know we always will!!