January 28th 2010 2:06 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

Last night while the whole house was sleeping, I found a bag of blue corn tortilla chips on the counter. Blue I tell ya. Who makes a chip blue, for Pete's sake? Some crazy healthy person, that's who. Big Mama and Big Daddy not only bought blue chips but they are organic. That means there isn't any bad stuff in the chips. What a bummer. I was looking forward to a good Dorito high at midnight, but the only thing that was high was my position as I laid on the back of the couch, gazing with a perplexed look at the closed-up bag of blue chips in the middle of the floor. Blue chips just don't do it for this girl and her girth.

Big Mama had put the chip clip on really tight anyway. It's easier for me to get the bags open when it's nothing but a rubber band wrapped around the bag, but rubber bands are bad for me, too, so they stopped using them. Big Mama always makes it easy for me to get all the crumbs out of the bottom of the bag by making a slit on each side at the top of the bag. I put my head in the bag and it rips right down the side. I don't know if Big Mama knows how easy she makes it for us. It goes to show she really does love me and wants me to have chips.

This one time she found me with my head in the chip bag. She cried. She said that it's dangerous and I could suffocate if the bag doesn't rip along the cuts like it's supposed to do. She always makes sure that she cuts the bag, so I don't know what she gets so stressed about. Being a safety freak, you'd think she'd worry less, but not Big Mama. She worries about everything. I didn't even eat the chips last night but she was worried when she found out I had taken them off the counter. I think that was more because I was about to get in trouble with Big Daddy. Speak of the devil and the devil appears. Here's Big Daddy now. Gotta go...