The Teachings of the Doggy Lhama

The Misadventures Of A Butthole Surfer

Well, over the past week I've gotten a new name from my humans, Butthole Surfer. I've been picking my butt all week. It started out as just a little irritation and my humans thought I had sat on an itchy weed. Then it got more red and itchy and they thought itI had a bad case of the 'Roids if you know what I mean. This morning I was feeling awful and didn't want to eat my breakfast. When my mutti checked me out she found a huge red lump on my butt. Then I had to go to the Vet and it turned out that there was a reason for my butthole surfing. My anal gland was abscessed and was on the verge of exploding. Needless to say I had to go in for surgery. They removed the offending gland, which was so badly infected that the doctor had to take off his white coat because puss and blood was all over it. They did my teeth while I was under and my mutti says that I could pose for the doggie AARP for my sparky smile. I don't feel good and going to the potty is a bit of a challenge now but the Dr can remove the stitches on Monday. Until then I can't see my brothers much because Alois will rip my stitches out.

The Results Of The Human Personality Test

I took the human personality test for dogs. It says that I'm a Will Smith type. Well I'm not much on the fellow but the results are in and the description is so me. I'm a popular looker that everybody loves.
Will Smith
Leading Man

A fresh prince in the pursuit of happiness, Rusty is megastar Will Smith!

Putting the jazz back in jazzy, Rusty is always moving and grooving to the beat of his own internal drum. Not one to settle for second best, Rusty only takes on projects that are sure to draw attention and improve his pawpularity in the pack. Rusty's broad appeal across breed, age and gender lines means that his actions often lead to his being named best in show. Smooth, suave and debonair... he's the perfect pet to take home to Mommy. Not lacking in the looks department, Rusty‘s toothy grin would send even the most furrocious group of alien invaders spinning helplessly back into space.

Check Out My Peculiar Aristocratic Title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: His Eminence the Very Lord Rusty the Brobdingnagian of Throcking by Hampton Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

I've Been Tagged!

The Rules
(Hint: Copy and paste the rules so you don't have to type them again):

Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Dogs who are tagged, need to post in their diary the rules and their 7 pawsome facts. Then choose 7 dogs to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to bark them a pmail that they have been tagged and to read your diary, or, send them a fun Rosette announcing they've been Tagged!

I was tagged by Cisco
The Seven Dogs I tagged are:
Roxanne
Pandora
Evie
Bella
Daisy
Noodle
Tailgate
Seven Facts About Myself
1: I was rescued from death's door two hours before the pound was about to eliminate my physical body.
2: Most humans thought I wouldn't live because I was in terrible shape but now I'm all better.
3: I'm a service dog.
4: I love to watch baseball and wrestling with my daddy. I get tips from wrestling on how to snipe my brothers when they run past me.
5: I am the sovern ruler of the couch.
6: I love all human and animal kind. It's only natural afterall, I am the 8th. Doggy Lama.
7: I love my hair dresser, Meghan. No one else will do to cut my hair just right. I'm her favorite dog to groom, she said so.

I Got A New Dish

I got a nick name, knothead. I got it because I don't see as well as I used to. When I was getting a drink or eating and my tags banged against my old bowls, I'd get terribly frightened and run. Of course I wasn't looking where I was going and would run into tables, cabinets and whatever else was foolishly put in my way. I got numerous knots on my head, hense the term knothead. My Mutti got sick of me hurting myself so she got me special rubber dishes that don't make any noise and aren't scary at all. At first I didn't like it because I was a might spoiled as my humans used to turn my bowl so I could get easier access to my food when I got scared. Now, even if I act frightened they won't do that for me anymore. They said something about not having a crutch. Hello, I don't walk on my hind legs all the time. So I snorted at them to show my displeasure and went on to eat my food before my brothers did. They are really nice bowls so if you don't see as well anymore, tell your mommies or daddies to get you one. Go now and live in Peace and Joy, The Eighth Doggy Lama, Rusty Bear

I'm an X-Treme Sports Star

The other day I was rather hot because the weather had been over one hundred degrees for nearly a week. My daddy picked me up and held me in front of the fan. It was then that we learned of my talents and created a brand new doggie extreme sport, Air Swimming. Now, it will probably only work for those of you that are wee ones, unless your parents are particularly strong or can rig up a suspension device for you. Anyway get a human to hold you up in front of a fan and then start the doggie paddle. My granny says it's the cutest thing when I do it. Of course it's easy as I created the sport I have perfect form. Go now and live in peace and joy. Blesss you all, the Eighth Doggie Lama, Rusty Bear.

A day at the Vet's

I have had a pair of negative experiences at the vet's office. Yesterday I went for a check up and to get some terrible shots. To all my canine friends, it is wiser just to accept the inevitable with grace and dignity then with screams and flashing of teeth. The doctor found an object in my ear but sent me home to see if it was a big deal. At the time he didn't know if it was a ball of wax and hair or something else. My mutti nearly fainted when she heard something was wrong with me. Today she took me back in and I had to get the object removed. They had to leave me at the icky vet's untill I could be operated on. I skipped all the grace and dignity stuff and screamed for my mutti but she gave me to the docctor and left. It was a horrible experience at first but the nice lady who works at the office talked to be. I went to sleep and when I woke up a huge foxtail had been pulled out of ear. My mutti picked me up later and I was really tired so I just slept most of the day after that. As I am rather tired I shall be ending my entry and returning to bed. Go now, my canine friends, and walk in peace and harmony.