February 1st 2008 2:34 pm
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Its been the worstest day ever in my whole doggone life! Everyone has been mad at me today. Even my mom is not givin me those cute looks today. I'm tryin to be good..honest! I am being set up I tell ya! Just cuz I chewed a few things shes all mad. I couldn't help it! I have been eyeing up that fancy dollhouse furniture for a while now..its all wood, ya know. How could I just eat one piece of furniture, that stuff is better than ice cream! What girl can resist a chunk of wood with all of those fancy knobs and drawers and stuff? Everyone knows its the best chew in the world (cept' for the pearl handles on the drawers those things do not taste as fancy as they look, I tell ya!) My mom thinks Im gonna choke or get belly splinters or somethin funny like that (that girl cracks me up sometimes). Sure I have a whole toybox full of bones and toy's but that old squeaky foot is boring, plus my singing dog (I love that guy!) has been sounding really wierd lately.
Plus it did not help the sock incident earlier...so I had a little accident in the hallway and mom found it after she slid down the hall in it (that yellow stuff gets slippery,I am thinking?). That girl knows I have some incontinence issues! She wasnt so mad about that I guess until she put her wet pee pee socks in the laundry room and went to wash up. I was just being nice when I got the wet socks back out and brought them to her bed for her. It was an act of kindness, I tell you! I didn't know she was so offended by my pee!
But wait is gets WORSE!!!!!.Im still stuck in the house with the giant dancing fat guy. Me and my sister Gabby think he's a spy or something! He is the scariest guy ever.. he's as tall as my human sister (4 ft) and even when I go try to sniff that guy he goes all crazy and starts singing and dancing and shaking his booty. That guy even has bells in his hands that ring loudly! I'm so scared of that man I thought my anal glands were gonna express just lookin at him (well actually being honest here, the first time I seen him I did sorta drop a log, if ya catch my drift?). Gabby and me run like crazy when he starts his dancin and shaking. They think WE are annoying??Haaaaaaa! Mom calls him Santa..but we call him big fat trouble!! Plus, we are thinking that he might possibly be eating our food when we leave the room? I don't know how much more of this man we can take! I've tried to knock him over a couple times but that mans a real giant monster! Me and my sister are going to be thinking of a plan to get rid of him. We will keep you posted, or if you have any good ideas that would work for very short statured girls like us please let us know?
Licks and sniffs,
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