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Biscuits Are The Best... and Other Tales of Grover!

Hooked On The Chew

What's up, bitches? I know I took a break over the summer, but I'm back now and here to talk about real important stuff. No, not chasing cats, though that's important too. I'm talking about chewing. Man, I could do that stuff all day long.

Of course, my favourite things to chew are biscuits. Unfortunately, while I was born with webbed feet, I wasn't born with opposable thumbs, so the all-access biscuit cabinet is a bit of a dream for me at this point. No bother, I've got a stash of chewables on hand for when my jaw needs a workout.

First off, kongs are for suckers. You should only chew that rag if it's stuffed with peanut butter. If you want a good chew, you need to go for the big prize. I'm talkin' Nylabone, dog. Mmmm. Give me one of those fake shanks and I'm good to go.

Nylabones have their drawbacks. For example, you can't take them on a walk. (If you can - call me. I need to be hooking that stuff up over here!). I don't know about you, but I find it hard to do a whole walk with no chewing. Geez, when you put it that way, walks suck!

Ok, that's not true. I love walks! But I love chewing, too! So unfair!

Don'tcha Wish Your Grover Was Cute Like Me?

Hey Guys, Grover here. I know it's been awhile, but let me tell you, it's tough finding time to blog when the P's are constantly hogging the computer. But I'm here now, so let's get down to it.

I want to talk today about this group called the Pussycat Dolls. Supposedly, they're all the rage. Well not with this dog, they aren't. And probably not at your kennel either.

First, what's up with that name? The Pussycat Dolls? How gross. I can't think of anything I'd want to name my band after less than a cat. Ugh, why not just call them "The World's Most Annoying Animal" or "Mr. Chi., Stop Drinking From My Water Bowl". Really, it's obvious these girls have no taste. If they did, they'd call themselves "Man's Best Friend" or "Biscuit Chicks" or "Addicted to Grover" – I personally think that last one would make a great name.

Second – and I’m going to be frank here, what kind of chick only has two breasts? My girlfriend down the pipeline has at least 6 of them – now that's hot! These chicks making like they're so sexy don't even know what hotness is. I'll break it down for you, Pussycat Dolls: Hotness is eating biscuits and playing kong. Sometimes it's also about sleeping on the couch or barking at the mail guy. Put that in your next video, you wannabe pin-up stars!

The whole situation in Hollywood just disgusts me. Except for PETA, they're alright. For a bunch of humans.

The Real Grover

We've been talking here for a while now. But really, the Grover you see in the diary entries is only half the story. I mean, sure I like to play ball and stuff, says it right there in my profile, for cryin' out loud. But sometimes I think that behind the cute smile and buckets of drool, there's another, more sensitive Grover that the public rarely sees. Until Now.

Guys, I'm going to share something with you. Something that may affect your opinion of me. That's alright. I'm cool with that. But if I don't share my inner self with you, all my photos and paws don't mean a thing. Ok, they do mean a thing, they mean I'm a damn cute dog. But back to what I was saying.

Here it goes: I love grass.

Maybe that came out wrong. I don't just love grass. I love everything about grass. I love grass when it's long and gangly. I love grass when it's freshly mowed. But I especially love grass when it's all slimy and goopey because it's being chewed in my mouth. Grass - is there anything it can't do?

Maybe you too love grass but your owner snaps on the leash when you get a mouthful of the green stuff. I know that one. Or maybe you bend your head slightly forward while taking a whiz and graze the blade-tops when no one's looking. (Ask me about how to make it look like you're sniffing stuff while your really snacking away - it's priceless!). Or maybe you just like rolling around in the stuff. That's fun, too.

Grass. Bringer-together of many. Next time: my love of peanut butter - revealed!