Bundle of Fluffykins or Corporate Raider?

Y'know, they think I lay here on my big green pillow all day when they leave.....if they only knew. Today, for instance. They leave for their various pursuits; school, work, whatever they all do. I'm left here to amuse myself with a basket full of toys, a greenie, and a jumbone. All good, I admit. But not very satisfying for an adventure-seeker like myself. And a waste of my talents, I must say. Anyway, today is pretty typical. All of them gone by 9am, except the old woman downstairs--the one who smells like chocolate and newspapers. Now I plan my day. Save the world? Nah, did that last week. I think I'll enrich my portfolio today. It's fairly easy to sign online here. My paws are plenty small enough to manipulate the keys. I'm thinking tech stocks today. So, yea, I sign online, and I'm just getting going with the trading, when I hear the old one coming up the stairs to let me out. Now I'm torn. Yard with Glenry, my best buddy, or finish this trade. Either way, I'd better get off the computer chair, or risk giving the old one a heart attack. She isn't very computer savvy, but even she knows a chihuahua on E-trade is unusual. So I jump back down, and act eager and hyper, as expected. Some days that's just exhausting, I really mean it. The yard is fun, chasing squirrels (god, I hope I don't ever really catch one...those things are HUGE!), hanging out with good ole Glenry, the usual. A nice break from the world of commerce. The old one eventually lets us in, and while Glen is busy grooming---he's obsessed, he really is-- A real metrosexual--I jump back up and finish my trade. It's a risky one, but I'm banking on the new appointment to the Supreme Court's stance on stem cell research to juice my pick a little. So, that's all been fairly exhausting. A bout with Jolene my stuffed racoon...and love slave, but that's a private matter....sounds good about now. Soon they'll come home and treat me like a baby. Their very own bundle of fluff. I have to say I love it. It's a guilty pleasure, kinda like Jolene. Anyway, it's been an altogether good day. Very productive and satisfying, and I feel secure in my growing nest egg. Can't depend on these folks for my retirement, can I?