ONE YEAR WITHOUT YOU, BABY

IT'S COMING UP ON 1 YEAR SINCE YOU'VE PASSED AWAY ROCKY, MY BOY. I CAN'T HARDLY BELIEVE IT. I STILL THINK OF YOU OFTEN AND REMEMBER ALL YOUR FUNNY LITTLE HABITS, BUT THE TEARS ARE GETTING FEWER AND FARTHER BETWEEN. I AM SURE YOU KNOW THAT I GOT ANOTHER PUP IN SEPT. ROCKY HONEY, BUT EVEN THOUGH SHE KIND OF LOOKS LIKE YOU SHE WILL NEVER REPLACE YOU IN MY HEART. SHE IS SO YOUNG AND FULL OF ENERGY, SHE KEEPS ME ON MY TOES FOR SURE... BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL EVER HAVE THE CONNECTION WITH HER THAT I HAD WITH YOU. I LOVE HER, I GUESS ONLY TIME WILL TELL IF WE 'LL BOND THAT STRONG. ANYWAY ROCKYPOOH, MOMMY MISSES YOU, ONE YEAR LATER. IN MY DREAMS I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HAPPY AND HEALTHY ONCE AGAIN AND WAITING FOR THE DAY WE SEE ONE ANOTHER AGAIN. LOVE ALWAYS, MOMMY

4 months and still healing

I still miss you Rocky. Although I've stopped leaving the light on at night so I don't trip over you. And I leave the garge door open sometimes now because I don't have to worry about you sneaking out of the backyard. I can enjoy a rain storm now without worry. You won't be pacing the hall. I've fallen out of all those little habits that were so routine.
But in a way I miss them, I miss taking care of you, I guess a lot of my identity was being, Rocky's Mom. I miss that. Iam still not sure about getting another dog, Rocky, but if i do, I hope you know that there isn't anyone or anything that could ever replace you in my heart. I love you Rockypooh!

Two Months without my boy!

Well, its been two months since my baby has been gone. I think I've made some improvement dealing with it. Today I finally made it to the park where we walked for years and had the courage to face the other dog owners that we had come to know so well. They were very sympathic and I managed to get out the whole sad story without shedding a tear. But I don't know if walking there again without Rocky is even within the realm of possibility.
Today I also managed to put away most of his things in a little box I made for his mementos. All his sympathy cards and letters, his collars, his leash, even an old toenail we found stuck on the carpet.
It is still hard and I still feel like I am betraying his memory a little bit by putting things away, but I still have his pictures out and some other small reminders here and there. But nothing will ever remove you from my heart Rocky. I love you my baby boy and miss you horribly. I miss your soft fur and your silly little habits. I love you Rocky Baby.

POEM TAKEN FROM A MEMORIAL

"... For if the dog be well remembered, if sometimes he leaps through your dreams actual as in life, eyes kindling, laughing, begging, it matters not where that dog sleeps. On the hill where the wind is unrebuked and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream he knew in puppyhood, or somewhere in the flatness of a pastureland where most exhilarating cattle graze. It is one to a dog, and all one to you, and nothing is gained and nothing lost- if memory lives. But there is one best place to bury a dog.

If you bury him in this spot, he will come to you when you call- come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down the well-remembered path and to your side again. And though you may call a dozen living dogs to heel, they shall not growl at him nor resent his coming, for he belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no whimper, people who have never really had a dog. Smile at them, for you shall know something that is hidden from them.

The one best place to bury a dog is in the heart of his master...."

Anonymous

One Month without You

I don't even know where to begin, it's been a total fog since that day. I know I am mired in a depression. I don't sleep well, although it is getting better. I had to put you down, I had to make that decision and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. It was heart wrenching! you were so good though, you didn't fight it, you trusted me.
Those memories come to me in flashes, like i can't bare the whole terrible scene at once. It was so fast, seconds and you were gone. We took you home with us to be cremated. I remember holding you, you still felt warm. You looked very peaceful honey,but I didn't want to leave your side.
the first day was total shock but the second day reality hit and it hit hard. I remember saying " I change my mind I want him Back, just give him back"
Now i find myself second guessing my whole decision making process, " what if I had done this or what if we tried this medication, or a different vet? " What if, What if ?
I try to concentrate on all the good memories, and there are a ton! But the darkness still creeps back in and I cry and cry and cry! I love you Rocky honey and I miss you terribly!