My Rainbow Bridges Adam, Arfie, and Gracie

Until we meet again...
http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

2 years

I was reading another dogsters journal entry. Her dog recently passed on to the rainbow bridge. She wrote about crying. Suddenly my own memory was vivid in my mind, of myself crying in the car on the way to the animal hospital, my Arfie's seizure-wracked body in my lap. I had really let out the wails when his seizures slowed, each one slower, rhythmically. Like his heart beat, slowing. He stopped moving right as the car pulled into the hopsital parking lot. What went through my mind? I wanted to save him, my old dog. It was purely a selfish instinct. I jumped out of the car, racing up the steps with him in my arms. "Not yet, we can lower your kidney enzymes yet, make them better" no, we couldn't have. And his body had suffered enough.

I usually don't think about that time anymore. When it first happened, I thought about it often. Two years later, when I think of Arfie it's never of his old, arthritic body. Or the hours I spent giving him sub-q fluids while he patiently sat for me. Or of him getting stuck somewhere or wandering, because of his dementia and loss of mobility and eyesight. Or the medications and weekly vet visits. My memories of him always go to the good times. His many long healthy years.

I'm taking my dogs to a beach today. Arfie has seen it. And I think he'll see it with us today.

In memory

It seems like the right time to make a tribute entry for Arfie. I've realized how stiff and old his joints were after I rescued the puppies. And I realized the signs he was giving me that it was time to go. But even though those are the most recent memories of him, they were just the end stage of his life and his life was composed of many more stages and alot of personality and love. True, he couldn't get along with any dog bigger than he was. But he was so tender and gentle to smaller dogs, animals and especially children. Being a mini poodle mix, most people don't think they're good with kids but Arfie was. He was my velcro like Jessie is now. I still feel like he's not far from me. Sure there was that period most pet owner's experience when their beloved pet dies and for a second you think you hear your dog's footsteps or see his shadow passing. I love the Rainbow Bridge poem and idea. Arfie is always part of me and part of nature so it's only the physical that I'll meet again at Rainbow bridge.

A dog's christmas wish

On Christmas Morning I wish for every animal searching trash cans for breakfast, A filled bowl with his name printed in bright letters.

For every dog who slept fitfully last night, chained in a frozen yard, A soft, warm bed with a person snoring gently nearby.

For every shelter animal spending Christmas morning in a soiled run, A forever home, filled with sounds and smells of family.

For every Christmas puppy given today, A tolerant, caring owner who won't abandon you as you grow into a real dog.

For every ailing pet, Enough money for your owner to pay the bill to make you well.

For every lost animal, A clear, safe road and well-marked path to lead you home.

For every old and tired friend, A warm fire and a soft bed to ease your aches and pains. And for every Heart Dog at the Bridge, A moment when you know that you are remembered today, missed again, and loved forever. --- Author unknown

kidney disease

Arfie was born in October and died the morning of July 20, 2007 when he was 16 years old and weighed 23 lbs. Almost two years ago after a routine visit to the vet, it was discovered he had kidney disease when his blood was checked to see if it was ok to be put under anesthesia to have his teeth cleaned. With his new founded high kidney levels, the vet said simple changes could slow the progression of his disease by alot. The first change was his dog food, he was given dry Hill's prescription diet K/D formula. A few months later, when his blood tests still showed increasing kidney levels, he was put on two medications, calcitricol and adozyl capsules. He had 1.5mL of calcitricol and 3 capsules a day. He still showed no symptoms of renal disease to the eye; he wasn't drinking more or going to the bathroom less, and he had his appetite still. He was not ok to go under anesthesia though.

He also had been on a pill for arthritis called Glucosamine DQ. This had to be given every day, and as arthritis symptoms showed improvement, the dose could be lowered. it wasn't like aspirin that treated pain as needed, this had to be given each day. I noticed it made him less stiff. His back legs were worse than his front, eventually he could not go on daily walks, jump up on furniture, or climb stairs.

In November 2006, he had something that was like a seizure called vestibular disease, which is common in older dogs for no known cause and not life threatening, but the dog's sense of balance is very off set and they have to be kept safe. My dog couldn't walk, but the next day he wobbly could. It usually takes up to four days to recover. Some other symptoms of vestibular disease besides lack of coordination may be if your dog's pupils are dilated and eyes rolling around, the dog's head tilted to one side and unable to straighten, and stiff legs unable to straighten or stand.

Up until then he never had any emergency before and he got better fast and didn't act sick besides the arthritis signs. He went every few weeks to the vet to get his renal profile checked. At one visit the vet took his blood pressure and it was very high. Kidney disease can cause hypertension. He was put on 5mg of enalpril and when it was rechecked his bp was almost normal. He was also switched to canned Hill's prescription diet k/d to give him a little more water to flush his kidneys than the dry food. And he started a weekly subcutaneous fluid treatment of 200mL. I gave him dog treats to distract him and just put the needle in between his shoulders. He tolerated it very well and had to go to the bathroom almost immediately after the fluid. As time went on, the time he needed to urinate after the fluids got longer, but that was near the end, that it took hours before he had to go.

He didn't like the K/D formulas after a short while of it, so I'd alternate dry and wet, then mixed it with what he loved, applesauce. He ate good for a little while longer, but then a couple months ago, around May 2007, he didn't want that either, so I mixed it with a little peanut butter. The K/D diet is known not to taste good because it has no protein or sodium.

At the end of May, his lab values showed anemia. His kidneys were flushing out alot of protein. So the vet put him on epogin shots, a hormone that would increase the production of red blood cells. He went to the vet twice a week at first, and after two weeks his red blood cell count was normal although he was still leaking alot of protein. He was seen once a week after that, and by now I was giving him subcutaneous fluids three times a week and 250mL.

By this time, he had been urinating on the floor regularly for some months. He could not go for walks due to his arthritis, but he liked the backyard and floor.. On June 17, he started urinating on the floor every ten minutes. As I was cleaning it up I noticed the urine was pink tinted from blood. It was a Sunday, so I took him to the emergency animal hospital, I was afraid it was his kidneys. They said he had a bladder infection and was put on an antibiotic and given IV fluids since he was a little dehydrated and I took him back home. The next day I took him to his usual vet, and they hospitalized him because he was dehydrated more and hadn't eaten for two days.

He never came back the same. He was sicker than he'd ever shown before. The vet said it's a dog's instinct to not show their owner any abnormal behaviors and maybe now he just couldn't hide it anymore. The vet said he probably got the bladder infection from the catheter to check his renal profile, so from then on I just collected his urine in a cup for the vet to check it.

He came home from the vet's after two nights. They changed his diet to Hill's prescription A/D, which is a highly palpable and caloric food for dogs and cats usually given after surgery. He ate this the first day he was home, but then refused to eat it anymore.

He seemed to have suffered from dementia at a larger degree. He had some signs of dog dementia before, like pacing back and forth and standing still staring. But now he had to be guided in the backyard and usually he had to be put on his bed or he would just keep standing.

I gave up trying to give him any dog food after a week. The vet said the best thing is lean white meat chicken breast if he wouldn't eat anything else, but for every day he ate that instead of the K/D food, it was working against him. But when he ate it, he at least showed more energy. He'd eat two chicken breasts a day and some cheese. He got subcutaneous fluids 250mL four times a week. None of his other medication doses were changed. Since his bladder infection, the vet talked about euthanasia delicately and regularly. A kidney transplants prognosis would have been the same, and my dog probably wouldn't have survived the anesthesia even. The vet said most dog's after a diagnosis of kidney disease do not last for more than 6-9 months, and Arfie had survived almost 2 years.

His last visit to the vet was the day before he died. He hadn't been there for just one week, but the staff noticed visible differences. His back legs walked as if they were peg legs. He surprisingly maintained his weight from the last visit. Weight loss is a common sign of kidney disease because as the kidneys worsen, other organs suffer and decrease in mass, besides the lack of appetite. As the kidneys are unable to clean out the toxins from the body and expel them more and more, the toxins increase in the blood. Nitrate and other electrolytes build up and go to the brain, eventually making the dog nauseous, throw up, dizzy, and falling over. The electrolytes also go to the heart, which was what caused Arfie's high blood pressure. The vet told me that he hoped Arfie could live another year, but once my dog stopped eating the chicken there was nothing that could be done and he would starve to death. When he stopped eating, I would euthanize him.

Prior to his death, he had suffered insomnia at night. I didn't know this was commonly seen as a symptom in dogs about to have seizures. I couldn't shut my dog in a room by himself, or he would stand by the door the whole time at this point, eventually he would fall and not be able to get up. I couldn't keep him on my bed because with his insomnia he kept wanting to get down and up every ten minutes all hours during the night. So I made a bed on the floor for myself and slept next to him with the door to the room closed on the night before he died. At about 4am I woke up to him throwing up. Later I found out he'd also thrown up in his sleep. When it was taken care of, I layed back down and he layed on my legs. On July 20, I woke up around 7am to him having seizures in the same spot he had fallen asleep in on my legs. His legs kicked rythmicly. His eyes were open but I couldn't wake him. I got the emergency animal hospital on the phone since his regular vet's wasn't open yet, they said bring him in now. I knew he was dying and why prolong his suffering, but I had to bring him in though, I thought maybe they can give him a tranquilizer.

His seizures lasted about fifteen minutes. His mouth was foaming, his breathing was strained and fast. In the car to the emergency hospital, seconds before arriving, his kicking and breathing slowed at the same pace. He wasn't breathing or kicking when I ran him in the hospital. They preformed cpr on him but he had no brain waves or heart beat, I said it was ok to stop the cpr. The electrolytes to his heart had caused the seizures, which are most common late at night and early in the morning. He wasn't conscious during them.

It felt like since they told me he was sick, I've held my breathe alot with him, tried to prepare for his death, I shouldn't have done that, and just enjoyed our time left together.

This told his disease and death. I wanted to write it to help anyone know signs and symptoms and what to expect. This was just the last two years of Arfie's life though. He had given me a wonderful 16 years. I have so many good memories of him and immeasurable love. His distinct and strong personality, his gentle nature with children and other animals, his funny quirks and habits, the ways he always showed his love, live on.