July 27th 2010 3:28 pm
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I was jus nappin' wif Mom, mindin' my own business, when she suddenly pops up and I can tell we're gonna go on a walk or for a ride. My favorite thing! (to quote a recent viral email)
We get our harnesses and leashes on and head to the van. It is really really really hot in that van. It is dog-killin' hot in there, if you know how hot I am talkin' 'bout. But Mom turns on the fan in there and cool breezes begin to fly all over the place.
So, where are we goin'? Hunh? Hunh? Dog park? Oma and Opa's? Oscar's house?
We pull up by the dogter's place. That's not right. We go in and Mom keeps tellin' me to look up at her and stop lookin' at the floor and sniffin' every corner. But it smells everywhere! I want to cover up all these smells wif MY smell! Mom can jus read my mind! (Lexie said my mind is a dime novel - cheap and easy. Sounds good to me, though it's unlike Lexie to say nice stuff like that.)
Anyway, the dogter gives me a shot and I try to bite him, but the techie lady person won't let me. Then the dogter uses another needle to take the shot back out. I try to bite him, but the techie lady person won't let me again. Then the dogter takes a hold of my foots and snaps off all my toes! I can't believe this is happenin' to me and all Mom does is make jokes and call me a wuss! Lexie is snickerin' under her beard. Hoomiliatin'! Again, I try to bite the dogter, but that really strong techie lady person still won't let me!
The dogter does say I have lots of muscles and am in beautiful shape. I wish he would said handsome, cuz I am a boy and all, but at least he don say pretty. He asks Mom who grooms me and Mom said she does our grooming. He seems surprised, but says Mom could be a professional. I am quick to point out that professionals know how to trim nails, but that comment doesn't win me my freedom. I think I'm in trouble the next time my nails need trimmin'. Mom is watchin' that techie lady person's special chokehold and takin' notes.
There is a cute poodle in the waiting room who is givin' me the eye, but I tell her my heart belongs to Grettawetta boom boom, and then I pee on the reception desk to reassert my ravaged dominance. I still got it!
OMD, Buddy!! Whut DID yu du tu deserbe dat??? Dere mus' be sumfing fur dat kinda tweetment!!!
HD's eyes get very large, he hides Buddy's post so his mom won't see it! Toes missing, techie choke holds, needles, shots........he runs and hides under the bed.
Oh no, HD! Does your Mom know your passwerds for Dogster?! That's bad. You better change 'em so she don read what I wrote!
I hate the dogter too! i wish I could bite him right in the butt, but Mommy always has a super strong grip on me. She is lucky I love her otherwise I would bite her in the butt!
BOL!!! Your poor toeses!
Oh, no! We have to go to da dogtor soon for our annual exams. Yikes!
That's why I loves ya, my Buddywuddysuperstuddie!