January 30th 2010 9:13 pm
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Okay, so I have been really really busy. I went to see the dogter yesterday so he could look at my nose and make sure the bump was still gone. It's still gone.
Then he took my temperature in a really pawsonal way. This cute young chick was holding me while he did that. It didn't really make me feel any better, plus the stoopid cone is still on my head. But then he found something we weren't expectorating . . .
. . . little rice-like parasitic space invader shells near my exit ramp! Oh no! He said they looked like what shows up when you have tapeworms! No way! Can I have a snack, please? I'm awfully hungry for some reason.
He asked Mom if I had a bunch of flees this summer. I was like, well, yeah, I did dig under the fence a number of times . . . you're not saying that is how I got tapeworms, are you?! But Mom said she had never ever in her life seen a real live flee . . . until this summer when she found two on Lexie! I don remember Lexie tryin' to run away this summer . . .
Mom said she saw those two flees and she immediately got us some of the flee and ticking goo and put it on our backs where we couldn't reach it. No more fleeing? NOT! I still got out under the fence. Phooey!
The dogter said that once you see flees, he normally treats both for the fleeing and the tapeworms cuz they go hand in hand, or paw in paw, or in some other sick symbiotic way (Lexie tol me to use symbiotic) and when the flee bug bites you, you can somehow get the tapeworms too. I know I got the flee bug. It is so much fun to sneak under the fence and run around the neighborhood. Everypup told me it was dangerous, but I din listen. Now I'm listenin'.
But this gets better cuz the dogter said we have to take medicines for the tapeworms. The medicines are powder that Mom has to put on our breakfast for three days. Then we wait two weeks, lather, rinse and repeat the powder for three breakfasts. Now, everypup knows that powder doesn't stick so good to dry kibble, right? Are you seeing where I'm goin' wif this?
Canned food for breakfast! Yay! Mom stopped at the local grocery on the way home wif me. I had to stay in the car. She bought enough cans to give us three breakfasts two times, however that many is, and we got to have our first can this morning. Oh. My. Dog!
Mom said I am not supposed to tell anypup what kind of can we got, cuz it's Purina and that's not something she wants to broadcast, that us two special pups always eatin' the good stuffs like California Naturals and Solid Golds and Natural Balances are suddenly havin' to eat Purina from a can. But there's no corn in it, whatever that means. Anyway, I'm a dog and I'm lovin' these tapeworms, whatever they are. The medicine is pawsome! Jus don tell anypup that we ate Purina from a can, k? Mom will be embarrassed.
Oh, and the dogter looked at my four-day-old cone and said I needed some tape to fix it. I said, "Tapeworms? I got those!" But he said no - jus regular tape cuz I had got a couple rips startin' to go up the side of my cone. mwahahaha! So he put tape on the rips and then Kaiser came over yesterday morning and we played really hard and now I tore a big section off the cone. I am so cool!
Mom says it's not a designer cone, just a disposable sort of cone. I have been trying persistently to dispose of it, so I know what she's talkin' about. Mom said I will have to go and get a replacement cone on Monday. I think she's kiddin'.
Mom jus read over my shoulder and even up and over my cone head and said she's embarrassed by what all I have shared wif you. Tapeworms and Purina and destruction all around. I better publish before she tries to get in here and eras------
Now don't worry about a thing Buddy. Not a single pup will know that you have
and you are eating
Your secret is safe here.
Buddy, we NEEDZ you to be honest about that stuff, otherwise, how would we know the TROOF about STUFF. You're like a reporter. It's good to know these things!!!
Yeah, Buddy, don' wurry. Yur secwets 'bout TAPEWURM an' PURINA an conehead destwuction r be safe wif us, wite guyses an' gurlses???
Way tu go wreckin' da cone-fing!! Dat wuz sum bery gud, hard pwayin' yu did, dude!!
You skipped the good stuff!!!
Ernie wanna know if you are gonna get a trophy picfur with a 200 pound grand champion Wormle for your trophy wall!!!!!
Mama just turned green, threw up and then passed out!
I am gonna go give her some kissies.
Good luck with the cone, and I ain't nevfur had no puree of Nas before, but it sounds good to me! YUMMMMM...I wish I'd get to flee to pick up some worms and get the puree of na. You're my hero, Buddy.
My kitteh brofur had da tapeworm afore and he had to have a nasty pill. Yuk! He wasn't too happy about it, eeder. He didn't get no special foods, eeder! You lucky!
Now Buddy, personally, I don't see nutin wrong wif eatin that canned Purina stuff wif the tapeworm medicine, it might not be the Top Shelf stuff, but its CANNED! Hey, if they catch that tapeworm, you can put him in a jar and then you have your own "Worm in a jar" to show all of us.
Now, dat would be kewl!
Purina, hey dude we eat that stuff too. Not everypup can afford all that good stuff all the time. And a little bit ain't going to hurt nuthin.
Suck it up, Suck it up GUD!
kirby & tribe
p.s. yes we would like to see the worm in the jar thingy.