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Plump Dog Millionaire

April 18th 2009 9:40 am
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So Lexie thinks she is Crumb Dog Millionaire - I say she is getting to be Big Bum Dog Millionaire, but she would bite me if she heard me say it. She eats everything she can get her paws on! Sheeeesh! She's startin' to get some extra junk in her trunk, if you get my meanin'. Mom said that Lexie's me-table-ism is just changing. I think Lexie thinks the table is hers for sure, the way she sits under it waiting for stuff to drop.

Me, I have better things to chase. Although I would eat her food if Mom din guard it for Lexie. It's special diet food anyway which prolly tastes like sawdust. Not that I wouldn't eat sawdust, but I'm jus sayin'. Lexie thinks she's better off with a couple extra pounds cuz there are owls at the dog park now - two new young ones who will be learning to hunt on their own pretty soon. I say bring 'em on! I ain't ascared-a no owls. They's jus birds. I am king of birds.

They weigh up to four pounds? They can lift prey two to three times their weight? C'mon Mom - do the math. I would have to weigh about 12 pounds for them to get me off the ground! There are two of them, three if you count the vigilant Momma owl? What is 12 times three? I'm sure I weigh more than twelve times three. I weigh about 19 pounds, so I'm sure I'm safe.

You can read all about great horned owls here. Note the list of prey - domestic cats and dogs! Holy smoke! Now wait jus a dog-gone minute!


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