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Buddy's Beat

Bank Robbers?

October 4th 2008 12:50 pm
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We were driving home from 4th kid's soccer game this morning and suddenly Mom said, "Oh my gosh!" There was this apartment complex and a policeman standing outside it by the front corner with a rifle drawn! Near the back corner as we drove by we could see a whole bunch of cops with weapons drawn! Mom just kept driving, but said a cold sweat broke out across her forehead. She said it musta been a bust. I didn't see anything broken, but I bet those cops could bust a few things with those big guns!

Mom said she's never seen something like that except on the TV. I never seen it either, except when 4th child plays with his giant squirt gun in the summer. That's a totally more weird color, though.

Mom stopped at the bank on the way home. Fourth child, prolly cuz he was now thinking about guns, said he hoped those guys weren't gonna come over here and rob the bank. Mom said they couldn't cuz the bank was closed and we were going through the drive-through. We didn't really drive through anything. We went around the back of the building and under their side porch. Fourth child said they could rob the teller at the window by the porch, but Mom said that would be kinda hard. This is where I know more than the humans. I am smart this way. All a robber would hafta do is put the gun into that little barrel with a note on it saying, "This is a stick-up! Hand over all the money!" and then push the button to send the little barrel up over the patio to the person in the window. They would see the gun in there and get all verklempt and hand over the money toot sweet! I don't know why the humans don't think of these things.

I might make a really good bank robber if I had opposable thumbs. Lexie said I would end up in the clink if I robbed a bank. She said I might have better luck robbing a pet store and making off with the register display of bully sticks in my mouth. I think my pal Oscar might be better cuz he's really tall and can counter-cruise if he wanted to. I can't counter-cruise cuz I'm just not tall enough. Maybe I could counter-cruise if I were in a really short human's house. Lexie can counter-cruise, or at least kitchen table-cruise if we are home alone. Trouble is, she doesn't share what she gets up there and I don't like heights so I don't go and get my own. Maybe Lexie would make a better robber. I think she is sneaky.


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