September 8th 2008 7:40 pm
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It has been brought to my attention by one of my supporters in North Carolina, Little Man Mickey, that the need for closer and more detailed inspection of canine toys has been neglected terribly by the current administration. When I looked over Mickey's report on his page today, the facts were there for anypup to see.
Where exactly is this nation headed? Certainly not to the dogs!
If elected, I will see that dog toy quality standards are tightened up, er, tightly so that stuffing may not be removed in less than 24 hours after purchase and I will rid the industry of those flimsy squeakers that burst upon themselves and stop making satisfying sounds so swiftly. I will aim high with a revamped squeaker satisfaction policy, guaranteeing the squeakability of canine toys for a minimum of one week from date of purchase!
I was appalled at Mickey's findings and if elected, I will appoint Mickey as CDTI, Chief Dog Toy Inspector, the highest dog toy inspector ranking in the United States of America and head of the Dog Toy Inspection Administration.
Stand Tall. Stand Proud. Stay Stuffed. Squeak Longer.
I am Buddy Grau, and I think this message is gud.