December 16th 2007 3:50 pm
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Mom has this habit of grabbing me and sitting on top of me, all the while telling me that she is Alpha and I have my choice of Beta, Gamma or Delta. She says if I don't pick one of those, I will be reassigned as Omega. I think she's just playing with me. Then she puts a tree up in the living room and says I can't go near it. She hangs a stocking - like a sock, folks - up where I can't reach it and tells me it will soon be filled with wonderful things just for me, then tells me I can't touch it! I go outside today and find an absolutely wonderful, smelly old dead rabbit (no relation to Rex) and I roll in it, over and over, until the aroma permeates my silky fur - all just in time for Christmas - and what does she do? She makes me take a bath! What gives? Now I smell rotten again, all moutain-breezy or meadow-misty. I prefer dead rabbit, thank you very much. I can't figure these humans out.