March 11th 2008 1:04 pm
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Hello guys and dolls, I just wanted everyone to know that it's my Birthday!!!! Any dog on Dogster can feel free to wish me a happy Birthday (if they know what's good for them!).
What Demon, no, I'm not threatening other dogs...I'm promising them. Ha ha ha ha. I'm just kidding guys! Although, I do like to give puppy slaps of justice out. :-P
Well, take care and I'll talk to you later!
-Angel Zoom Smokey (Birthday Girl)
March 8th 2008 2:28 am
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I told myself I’d write in my diary more but it’s hard to get back in the writing grove after a while. Besides, Demon, mom and the Fster are always on the computer doing silly things. Like I care if the Fster (Jeff) is trying to write something, I want to write something as well, my darn diary!
Okay, first things first. Demon was watching the Jason Bourne movies the other day and he announced that Matt “Demon” had stolen his name to make him look cooler. I told Demon that his name is Matt Damon, NOT Matt Demon. Also, even if by some chance his name really was Matt Demon, that would have been his birth name. He’s been in movies since before Demon was a pup (yes…Matt Damon is that old) and he has always gone by the name Matt Damon
Okay dogs…I was listening to the radio the other day and I made a few notes that you all might want to know. First of all, apparently there is a dog named Snoop (could it be Snoopy?) who has become a big recording star. See, the Howling Huskies have a shot at superstardom! Also, according to the genius that is Justin Timberlake, America is in desperate need of sexy. I can’t believe he did a song about that! His mommy must have washed his mouth out with soap when he got done singing. Still, he did bring some important social issues up, I’m just not sure what. : ) There is also some dude who likes big butts. The less said about that, the better.
Also, I stumbled onto the greatest song ever composed, move over Mozart and Beethoven, no one really cares about your stupid symphonies when there is a musical ‘tour de force’ called “My Humps” by The Black Eyed Peas out there on the airwaves. Yeah, I didn’t know food could sing either! I’ll have to do some research on this.
Anyway, while I was listening to the radio, I couldn’t help but notice the Fster. I guess Jeff has to sing (horribly) to every song that comes on the radio. There is no way I can quite explain the experience of the Fster singing about ‘feeling like a natural woman’ or other guys ‘wishing their girlfriends were hot like him’. Let’s just say it sends shivers down me and Demon’s spine.
Also…I want to be in a comic book!!! Oh wait…I already have a diary entry about that…
-Angel Zoom Smokey (Hotter then you since ‘07)
February 29th 2008 7:39 pm
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My brother Jeff (aka The Fster) is a huge nerd for any of you dogs who don't know. He watches shows like Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica. If that wasn't bad enough, he also collects and reads comic books...and he's 22!!! I could let this slide if I the Fster was like 6 or something...but he's freaking 22!!! I'm a puppy and I'm too old for that garbage. Anyway, Jeff started to tell me about his favorite comic book character. Listen up dogs...this is going to be good!
The Fster's favorite comic book character is the DC Comic do-gooder Green Lantern. He told me about him and it did sound interesting. He's a traditional comic hero with a sci-fi twist. This is where it gets good though. There is not only one Green Lantern...but five, yes, five main Green Lanterns!!!! Plus, there is a whole Green Lantern Corps. Wow, I got to hand it to you DC Comics, that was smart thinking. They were clearly a head of their time and figured that if Green Lantern ever gets turned into a film, they can hire different actors every sequel and not have to pay the original actor more money. Wow, genius!
Jeff told me that his favorite Green Lanterns were in order, Hal Jordan followed by John Stewart followed by blah blah blah. Apparently, the kid thought I cared. I'm a dog Jeff! If you give me your comics to eat, we'll talk; if not, get lost until you find a milkbone to give me!
That's when I got a genius idea from The Fster's jibber jabber. Why can't I be a Green Lantern!!! DC Comics, take note! Demon Flash Bandit and I want to be Green Lanterns! You could just use us as extras in the Green Lantern Corps., we don't mind! You have like billions of Green Lanterns! I think a lot of people here on Dogster would buy a Green Lantern comic if me or Demon graced it's pages! It would at least give the Fster a good reason to buy those silly comic books. He wonders why he can't get a girlfriend. ::lol::
Then I started to think...you know, there are a lot of superheroes with the word 'green' in their names. The Green Lantern, the Green Arrow, the Green Hornet, and the Green Mask. With the exception of a few superheroes with White, Black and Red in their names here and there...green seems the dominant color character name! Geez comic book guys...throw us a superhero with Purple in his/her name! Is that so much to ask?
Hum...you know green is the color of money. Let's not forget about DC Comics latest character to get his own series, Booster Gold. That's right, Gold is his name! It's like DC is trying to rub our wet noses in it! We get it DC Comics CEO, you're rich!
I think a comic should be made about me! Marvel, made freaking Howard the Duck...HOWARD THE DUCK. A character based on a duck, nature's D student!
Pretty soon DC or Marvel is going to make a comic titled "Burnout the Mystical Hippie". You heard it here first guys (so don't steal it DC or Marvel! This is Angel Zoom Smokey's character!). Oh! He has a dog 'sidekick' (who is actually the hero much like Underdog or Krypto) who saves the stupid Mystical Hippie. The dog will give out puppy slaps of justice to anyone who messes with her owner. Oh yeah, the dog is a girl like me.
This is actually a good idea...I think I might write it! Any of you dogs interested in the comic, let me know and I might see about making it! If I get enough support...I'll make the comic (with the Fster's help of course).
He will have an arch nemesis...but I'll save that if enough interest in the comic is raised! Needless to say though, one of the villains would be a bird named The White Bomber...I think you humans know why. I thought, you know...there's enough great tragic comic book characters (Batman, Spider-Man to name a few)...why not have a silly one?
So...you comic book nerd dogs and owners let me know what you think!
Peace out my fellow dogs!
Angel Zoom Smokey (Superdog)
February 26th 2008 2:21 am
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Hello my fellow doggies! Ich bin ein puppy! Oh...I love JFK so much. What a great President he was. Anyways, I am so sorry for not writing a diary entry for a while now. I've been helping my idiot brother (the Fster) with his comedy. The Fster is really fun to hang with. Actually, the funny thing about him is that he will do anything for a laugh. I actually made a bet with Demon about that. After the stakes were laid out (a new rawhide bone), I mushed over to Jeff and told him that it would be hilarious if he punched himself in the face. He did...me and Demon laughed and laughed...not because it was funny...but because the Fster was stupid enough to do it. Demon gladly gave me the rawhide for that show. He said it was well worth it, and it was.
So anyways, since it's been so long, I thought I'd give you guys and dolls a really long diary entry today. I know you are all dying to know what's up with me, Dame Angel Zoom Smokey. I will update everyone about my personal life first. I'm kind of a shy dog so I don't like to be all that open about my personal life, but I can tell you I have a new man in my life. His name is Samoa SunnyBear Bell. He's really great and cute. I don't want to go into to much detail now, needless to say he was my Valentine. :)
For those dogs who don't keep up with movies, the Will Farrell comedy "Semi-Pro" is coming out soon. The film takes place in Michigan and was filmed in Flint, Michigan!!! My brother Jeff signed up to be an extra for the film but they didn't use him. Apparently the Fster is good enough to entertain literally ten's of people at comedy shows (::lol::) but he isn't good enough to walk beside Will Farell on a film for a brief second. The Fster should have co-starred with Will Farrell darn it! He's a good performer! I know...I taught him everything he knows! (Side note: If any dogs know Will Farrell personally or through crotch/butt sniffing, let him know about me, Demon and the Fster :)). If not including Jeff wasn't bad enough, they didn't even use me and Demon!!! The filmmakers have some sort of nerve not including dogs of our caliber! I would have loved to see Demon in a fro and a dashiki. I'm telling you now filmmakers of "Semi-Pro"...you missed out!
On to other Hollywood news. The Academy Awards were announced yesterday and once again, dogs were completely shut out of the ceremony. Underdog failed to secure a nomination (though the Beagle in the film deserved one darn it!) and as a result, he did not win. I mean, he played Underdog and freakin' Shoeshine Boy! He delivered the performance of a lifetime and who ended up winning best actor instead? That right, Daniel Day-Lewis. I thought you retired Day-Lewis! You are very lucky Underdog wasn't allowed in the ceremony, or there would be blood. Ha ha ha. Get it? He won for the film "There Will Be Blood." Oh...forget it. I know what happened, he spent a little too much time in Ireland, got drunk (don't worry Day-Lewis, I've been there before too) and forgot that he retired! Yes...that explains a lot. I'm just joking Daniel Day-Lewis, all us dogs love you (so do a dog movie! :)).
Now, onto my political career. I have decided to run as Demon's VP in the upcoming election. The only reason I agreed to this is because Demon is more experienced and he agreed to wipe all my DUI's off my driving record. Oh yeah, we both agreed that dogs should be allowed to drive. We did not make this decision lightly either. After many hours discussing this, we noticed that a jerk ran a red light and agreed that dogs couldn't be that much worse. So, under the Demon/Angel administration, dogs will be allowed to drive...but here's the catch...dogs can only drive monster trucks. That way if a dog gets into an accident, the dog will mush away with little or no harm.
Okay, there is one issue I disagree with the Democrats with. I personally like the idea of big brother. The Fster is so cool, how could you not like big brother. I don't know why people get on George W. Bush’s case about it so much. What? Hold on, Demon is telling me something. Big brother is what? Okay, never mind, George W. Bush is insane. I can't believe George W. Bush almost fooled me!!! That's like Einstein getting intellectually served by a zygote.
We were also discussing our rivals. Neither one of us feel that John McCain is a serious threat. Yes, the man was a war hero but the country needs change in a way that only Obama, Clinton or Demon and I can provide. The news item that made us laugh the most was Ralph Nader entering the race. Demon and I are starting to wonder if the loser is getting kickbacks from the GOP for running and possibly taking some of the Democrats and us dogs' votes. Ralph Nader's name does sound suspiciously like Vader...and the only Vader that comes to mind is the Sith Lord Darth Vader! George Lucas...your secret is out!
Oh yeah…me and Demon want Bono and The Edge’s permission to use their classic U2 song “Beautiful Day” as our campaign song. We love the band U2. :)
One important issue I'm raising that no other candidate is discussing are zombies. Something needs to be done with this zombie menace! Movie after movie is made to warn us about them, yet we ignore them. It's always humans too, you never see zombie dogs! (Except in those terrible Resident Evil films which were clearly made to make us dogs look worse). There are even famous zombies we do nothing about! Case in point: Bob Dole. I promise, if I'm elected Vice-President, I'll do my best to rid the world of zombies.
Well, peace out my fellow doggies!
Angel Zoom Smokey (Giver of Puppy Slaps of Justice)
February 9th 2008 4:28 pm
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I"ve been watching the new dvd Mommy bought, Snow Buddies. It is so good that I'm going to give it my Angel Zoom Smokey 4 Paws Up Reward which is a less violent version of my Puppy Slaps of Justice Award. It is a great movie, and I enjoyed watching all the puppies. I particularly enjoyed the dogumentary that came as a special feature. I was happy to see how well the dogs were treated during the filming of the movie. It is only right since the dogs were the STARS of the movie. I think more movies should be made about us dogs. The humans already have lots of movies about them, and they live such boring lives. Dog movies are far more interesting. Humans just hate to admit that fact.
Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't written in so long, but I have a busy schedule. I have to get up (as late in the morning as possible), annoy Demon Flash Bandit, hunt for Milkbone, annoy Demon Flash Bandit, take a nap, annoy Demon Flash Bandit, watch some tv, annoy Demon Flash Bandit, write my sweetheart Samoa SunnyBear Bell, annoy Demon Flash Bandit, eat some food, annoy Demon Flash Bandit, run through the house and jump on the furniture, annoy Demon Flash Bandit, try to find something I'm not supposed to have and rip it to shreds, annoy Demon Flash Bandit, eat a nightly ice cream snack, and annoy Demon Flash Bandit. If some of you think there is a recurring theme in my life, I have no idea what would give you that idea. I do sometimes enjoy annoying Demon Flash Bandit, but it isn't like that is the main mission in my life--okay maybe it is. I can't help it is my main purpose in life is to annoy the Deemster as much as possible. I like to follow him around and tell him off and pounce on him. It is great fun. I highly recommend the activities to other puppies who have older dogs in the house.
I wrote my sweetheart Valentine, Samoa this morning, and later I heard Demon on the computer laughing and giggling. He told me he was writing his dairy entry, but I suspect he might have gotten onto my page and maybe he was writing my sweetheart claiming to be me. I guess I'll have to wait and see if Samoa says anything about it. Demon has done it a couple of times in the past. Once he wrote my diary entry, and told everyone to vote for him for President-and he knew I was also running for President myself. I told him I hadn't heard of anything so under-handed since Nixon and the Watergate scandal. He said I obviously wasn't keeping up with things because Watergate was a stream compared to the stuff that has went on since then. I'm sure you've all heard of politicians using mud slinging. Demon actually had the nerve to accuse me of slinging something stinky--and it isn't mud. Can you believe how he talks about a sweet puppy such as myself? If he wrote anything bad about me to Samoa, I'm going to ask Samoa to beat him up. I think Samoa will do it for me because he really loves me. Samoa, if you are reading this and you got more than one paw mail from me, the other was from Demon Flash Bandit. Pay no attention to it. He is so jealous of our love. He keeps telling me that if I continue gushing on about you, he is going to lose his Milkbone. I say that is a win-win situation for me. I can continue gushing on about our love, and then I can have re-cycled Milkbone as a snack. Do you want me to save you some of the re-cycled Milkbone?????
Angel Zoom Smokey (My heart wants to ZOOM to be with Samoa)
January 25th 2008 5:36 pm
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It has been awhile since I have graced the pages of Dogster with a diary entry. Yes, Jeff did open mic night at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal Oak, MI again, and you have absolutely no idea how much time and trouble it takes for me to prepare that loser for his shows. After a couple of months, he has finally learned that you have to stand for stand up comedy, but if it weren't for me, he wouldn't get any laughs at all. A dog's work is never done.
As if dealing with Jeff isn't bad enough, I also have to deal with Mr Grouchy--who also goes by the name of Demon Flash Bandit. He doesn't like to have his naps disturbed, and that is too bad because I love to disturb his naps. I might have to give him some puppy slaps of justice==Texas style. I've never been to Texas, but I like the sound of Texas style. I know it is one state that makes sure people pay for their crimes. If they happen to be innocent, the state of Texas doesn't let a little detail like that hinder their punishment. Do people realize how much time and trouble details like that cause the prosecution? They might not have enough time to attend the weekly rodeo if they had to waste it on trivial details. Texas, you have Angel Zoom Smokey's Puppy Slap of Justice Award. You people know how to puppy slap. Some states might as well give their criminals awards, but you can depend on Texas to make sure people fry. It might look better to the other people if you did try to make sure the person frying actually deserves it. Some people just don't understand how important it is to keep people frying.
As I said earlier, I have a very busy schedule, and Demon is trying to take a nap so it is time to go annoy the Deemster. Have a nice weekend dogs.
Angel Zoom Smokey (Dispenser of Puppy Slaps of Justice)
Angel Zoom Smokey or
Demon Flash Bandit (the Grouch)
January 9th 2008 9:44 am
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What's up dogs? This is Angel Zoom Smokey and I'm dropping by to say hello again and to write my diary entry. Today is a new day with new problems. I just got done watching the Disney 'classic' Cinderella. Some classic, I have a few complaints about this film and Disney films in general. First of all, the CGI was terrible. If I didn't know any better, I might have actually thought they drew that whole movie! Movies have come a long way baby. Despite the obvious early CGI problems, the movie itself was weak. Cinderella was your classic weak female...well, the idiots at Disney have apparently never met any women like me.
First of all, my Cinderella wouldn't have been cleaning up the messes, she would have been making them! Her wonderful step-sisters had the right idea! Okay, let's just say for instance, I looked all hand drawn like that Goofy fellow all the folks at Disney are so crazy for, I would still look darn cute! Who could make a puppy like me work? So, some of you smart-aleck dogs are probably saying, "but what if it's your evil step-mother?" Well I don't have an evil step-mother, so ha ha ha ha Cinderella. If that Cinderella had any brains, she would run away and found a new home, that's what I would do if my step-mother was mean. Plus, if Cinderella was lucky, her new owners might let her sleep in their bed...come to think of it, that might be kind of weird in a Disney movie...although Disney did make Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs...the less said about that, the better.
So, where was I? Oh yeah, talking about what an idiot Cinderella was. My main problem was the ending. Why didn't Cinderella break the glass slipper over her evil step-mother's head and threaten to shank her stupid step-sisters. That would have been funny. I sssooo would have taken my size 14 bootie off and dished out some puppy slaps of justice, Texas style.
At the end of the movie, me, Nancy Sintra and Jessica Simpson could sing "These Booties Are Made For Walking...and hitting people." That was the extended cut of the song the world wasn't ready to hear.
Why didn't Disnney put Jack Sparrow in Cinderella? He is a Disney character, and he should be in every Disney movie. Oh...before I forget, what was up with that dude being called the Cinderella Man? Didn't he know that Cinderella was a chick's name? Now, if I was named Cinderella, that's no problem...but can you picture Sylvester Stallone having the first name of Cinderella? I mean, it's bad enough the dude is named Sylvester, am I right? At least he was named for a dude who tries to eat birds though!
The good movie Disney made was Snow Dogs...and Eight Below...and Iron Will...and the upcoming Snow Buddies...well, you get the idea.
Angel Zoom Smokey
Demon Flash Bandit
Angel Zoom Smokey (Not a Disney Girl...Unless They Pay!)
January 8th 2008 8:25 pm
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Woof woof woof bark woof bark bark woof woof woof. Ha ha, that one gets me every time. Hello all you fellow dogs out there on the web, this is Angel Zoom Smokey barking at you. Wow, I have had a busy week. My week started off with problems. First, I got my first ever cell phone bill. I was in for quite a shock! It was a bill for $100! I called Verizon and asked them why my bill was so high. The Verizon spokesman I spoke to told me that I went over my minutes, hence the high bill. Can I help it if me and my doggie girlfriends enjoy talking? Plus, I haven't even heard from my boyfriend Samoa SunnyBear Bell yet. Just because I never gave him my number is no excuse! Men...they're all useless.
So...where was I? Oh yeah, my cell phone bill and my struggle to pay it. I didn't have a $100 to throw away (or not to throw away for that matter). I looked through the F's wallet and let's just say, I feel extremely sorry for Jeff. I make more money then that loser! Ha ha ha! Me and the Deemster had a good laugh with that one. I would have looked through mom's wallet, but that is where my Burger King money comes from, and I don't want to have to give up Burger King for a stinking cell phone! (Who could blame me?) So I was in a pickle as the saying goes...which is a really weird saying by the way. Do any of you dogs honestly know anyone who ever got stuck in a pickle? From what I've seen, pickles usually end up in humans, not the other way around. That would be a very silly sight though. If any of you dogs observe a man or woman stuck in a pickle...let me know right away! It is important to me and Demon...(I'm not sure why.)
So, I asked Demon's advise about how I was going to pay this stupid bill. Demon told me that most places except bread. Bread is yummy, so I can totally understand why a place would accept it. That being said, neither one of us was willing to give up our bread. We work hard to earn our food. Do you think anyone can sleep for as long as we do? I think not. Anyway, Demon also said businesses usually accept green stuff as well.
Paying with something green was a great idea! My only problem was that I didn't own anything that was green. That is when I came up with a plan. If Verizon would accept green items, surely they would accept brown items as well. Luckily for me, I knew just the place to 'fish out' some easy money.
As it turns out, this must be the silly humans secret stash because when I went to get some quick cash, mommy started fussing at me. Apparently, nosing through the toilet is a no no under moms roof. I am curious to know where all the money goes. I'm not sure if you doggies know this, but there is a lever on the toilet that lets the humans direct deposit their currency. Jeff was in the bathroom earlier today, I let him know about my cell phone bill before he went in. I'm crossing my paws in hopes that he paid Verizon enough currency to cover my bill.
Well, I'll talk to you dogs later. Remember to vote for me or Demon!
Angel Zoom Smokey
Demon Flash Bandit
Angel Zoom Smokey (Toilet Fisher)
January 7th 2008 5:12 am
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I haven't had a chance to write since Christmas, and I will tell you now that I was very disappointed in Santa Paws. Sure, I got toys, treats, and dingo bones, but I didn't get the car, the computer, or the cell phone I asked for. There was a very long list of stuff I asked for and didn't get. Demon reminded me that Santa had to bring toys for all the boys and girls, and I think that is the problem. My solution is that Santa Paws should only bring toys to dogs. It would save him a lot of work and trouble, and it would give him more time to fill my requests. Perhaps he will bring me the rest of the stuff next year when he has a bit more time. I did have kind of a long list. Since he has plenty of time, I might pick out which car I want instead of just asking for a generic car. It had better be made by Ford or GM because I don't want to get any nasty looks from autoworkers here in MI. Besides, Mommy would get rid of anything that isn't made by one of those two companies so I would still need a car. Life gets so complicated when you live with the humans. When is a puppy going to get a break? Maybe I could get one of those little electric cars they sell at Toys R Us. They are kind of cute, and I think my paw could reach the pedal. I'm not sure if I'm big enough to drive a regular human car yet. I am still a puppy. Christmas was nice even if Santa Paws was not up to par this year. I can't understand how he could leave off so many of my wishes. I faxed him 300 pages of toys and things I wanted. If he pulls that again next year, I'm going to stay up and give him some puppy slaps of justice. What a loser!!! I might go to the North Pole and give some puppy slaps to Mrs. Claus and all the elves. The North Pole has a delightful climate so I'd enjoy going there, and the puppy slaps would just be added fun. That jolly old elf had better learn you don't mess with Angel Zoom Smokey.
I didn't make any new year's resolutions, but I gave Demon Flash Bandit a long list of things I thought he needed to improve. The stupid mutt didn't agree with me. He didn't make any resolutions because "he is perfect". Sure, he is perfect--a perfect nuisance. I read his dairy about me following him around and how I'm his black and white shadow. The truth is I'm not following him around. He is in my way, and he never had enough sense to move. He is always where I'm trying to go, and then he has the nerve to say I'm following him. Why would I follow him around? I've got a life. I have better things to do than get into Demon's business. I can tell you from past experience that he is boring, and I have no interest in anything he is doing--unless he has a dingo bone.
Before I go, I want to send a special hello to my boyfriend, Sunny. Sunny thinks I'm pretty and has already asked me to marry him even though he is a puppy. I've got to go, and annoy Demon Flash Bandit. I have loads of fun annoying him. I think I'll go get in his business since I've been accused of it in his dairy entry, I might as well do it. HAHA
Angel Zoom Smokey (Dog With a Life)
December 23rd 2007 9:08 am
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I'M BACK!!!!!! Finally, I got some computer time. I read Demon diary entry, and he explained how he ended up with a hurt paw. I was there, and I didn't see any thugs trying to break his paw, but he says they were fast, and I wasn't looking in his direction. I have my doubts about his story because I think the Deemster likes to embellish his stories, but I won't say it isn't true because I'm sure that some of the possible presidential candidates are worried that Demon Flash Bandit will win the election. He is intelligent and handsome, and I plan to be his vice-president. With a ticket like that, those humans don't stand a chance so I can understand if they start getting desparate. I kept Demon company when his paw was hurt. I felt sorry for him. He can be a very nice dog even if he is a bit egotistical.
I'm so glad Santa Paws sent his fax number. I've continued sending him my Christmas wishes as I think of them. It makes it so convenient for the "Paws" because I can send him lists, and he can buy much of it on-line. I've even sent him the web-sites filled with my shopping cart. I try to make the "Paws" life easier. I'm not so sure the elves are good at hunting for stuff on-line. The internet must be wonderful for Santa Paws.
Mommy has displayed all the Christmas cards, and Demon and I got some from some very good looking dogs. They make the house more festive with their photos. Demon and I have been very excited about our cards.
I've got to end this so I can go watch tv. Have a wonderful Howliday
Angel Zoom Smokey (Santa Paw's Favorite)
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