November 4th 2007 7:58 am
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I am so upset. Jeff changed my sleeping photo on my page to an embarrassing photo of me wearing that silly hot dog costume. Jeff took some photos on Halloween night. He thought the photos would be cute. Jeff shouldn't be allowed to think if all he can come up with is to take annoying photos of a poor defenseless dog. Okay, I'm not totally defenseless. I have some very sharp teeth which I don't tend to use on people, but I'm thinking about using them on the F-ster. Meanwhile, Demon is laughing his tail off over my photos. He said I am a beautiful dog with a hot dog on my butt. I know I'm a beautiful dog (like I need Demon's imput on that), but I look ridiculous wearing that silly hot dog. I should have at least been dressed as a princess or maybe Sleeping Beauty (my original photo was great for that), but no, my silly humans buy a hot dog costume. See what happens when you have to live in the same house with a stand up comic. To make matters worse, Mommy picked it out in the store and asked Jeff's opinion and he loved it too. Shouldn't that have been enough to make her realize it was a bad plan. She brought it home, and Demon liked it as soon as Mommy told him it wasn't for him. He can be such a jerk. Anyway, that is the story of how I had to wear the humiliating hot dog costume. Mommy and Jeff still think it is cute. They are pathetic.
Angel Zoom Smokey (Hot Dog)
November 6th 2007 10:27 am
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I managed to get on the computer before Demon Flash Bandit. He is waiting to write his entry---like any of you dogs care about what he has to say. He is always either asking people to vote for him for president when I am clearly the better choice, or he is whining about me puppy slapping him and they are puppy slaps of justice that he deserves. He is always trying to keep me from playing with "HIS" toys. I say if the toys are in the house, they are fair game for Angel Zoom Smokey.
I don't really have a lot to write about. Can you believe Demon's Nixson said "I am not a bat" entry in his diary? He actually said (and Demon would know this is he bothered to do any research) "I am not a ding-bat". Even though I am a puppy, I knew that because I did the RESEARCH. I had to ask Mommy what Ding-bat meant, and she said it was what Archie used to call Edith in the tv show, All in the Family. It means that the person is acting stupid so Nixson was telling everyone how intelligent he was. I'm sure he was telling the truth because Nixson was known for his honesty. Aren't all people in politics? Why is Mommy laughing as I read outline while I type.? I'm sure no on would get elected if they aren't honest. Why would anyone vote for them? Okay, that is enough about Demon Flash Bandit's favorite subject. I personally perfer fun subjects. Have any of you girl dogs seen the new pink razor cell phones? It is truly a girl's color. Mommy got one, and Jeff and William said that they would never be caught with a pink phone so why did she get it. Men are such idiots. Her answer---Exactly. I don't think she enjoys letting them "borrow" her phone. Jeff's phone is black and it isn't nearly as cute as Mommy's phone. Men have no taste in colors or style with a few notable exceptions like Johhny Depp. I'll sail with him anytime he needs a husky. Aren't huskies very necessary to carry the ship through snow and ice? Now that I've posted this on-line in my diary, Johhny knows I'm available.....Demon you are an idiot, I'm sure Johhny will read my diary. You are just jealous that you aren't a swash buckling pirate like Capt. Jack Sparrow.....what do you mean, he is a made up character. Sorry, I have to quite writing now and go give Demon some well needed puppy slaps of justice. I hope all you dogs are having a good week.
Vote Angel Zoom Smokey for president
Angel Zoom Smokey (Waiting for my Pirate)
November 7th 2007 7:17 am
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I am so embarrassed, I finally realized what Nixson said. Demon mis-quoted him as saying he wasn't a bat. Then I said he actually said I am not a ding-bat (the the way, I love the term ding-bat, and feel it should be used more often). He actually said, I am not a Dingo Bat. I realized this when I was munching on a dingo bone. I have no idea what he meant. I doubt if he had any idea either. He was probably too busy looking for the missing tape. Isn't it annoying when you go to wrap a gift and can't find the tape. I feel sorry for him. You'd think that the president could send someone out to get more tape, but maybe there was a tape shortage at that time in history. Maybe I'll do some more reasearch.
Now that I've cleared that matter, I have to go give Demon some puppy slaps of justice. A girl's work is never done.
Vote For Angel Zoom Smokey
Angel Zoom Smokey (Dispensing Puppy Slaps of Justice)
November 15th 2007 7:40 am
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I haven't written an entry in awhile because I've been helping Jeff with his comedy. I don't know how he would make it without me. I would also like to announce that I am not being called Puddles as much now because I quit having "accidents" in the hall. I didn't particularly care for the nickname, Puddles so I had to put a stop to that silly nickname.
I am still annoyed at Jeff's posting of new photos. Did you notice the main photo is of me in my hot dog costume which makes everyone in the family now refer to me as "hot dog butt". If I hear Jeff say "nice buns" one more time, I"m going to give him some puppy slaps of justice. I didn't choose to wear the silly costume, and I think I have a case of animal cruelty against my stupid family for making me wear it. It will take years of therapy for me to get over such humiliation. Demon is laughing at me because he is reading this while I write it, and he insinuated that I don't have a case. Yes, I do. What does he know. I have an appointment with a doggie psychologist next week.
I have another issue to clear up. Demon says I am a drama queen. I am not a drama queen. I am a very practical, down to earth dog who happens to have experienced a lot of heartbreak. I will give the dogs out there an idea of all the horrible experiences I have had to endure. First, there is the nickname, Puddles, the hot dog costume, I was put in a kennel while the everyone else except Demon went on vacation, sometimes the store is out of the flavors of mildbone that I prefer, and last but not least, the various family members (including Demon) hog the computer. As you can see, my life is horrible. I'm waiting for Hollywood to do a movie of the week about me. I think it should be titled, Sad Tales of a Good Girl. So much for your drama queen remark, Deemster. You didnt' realize how bad I had it, did you. Excuse me now, I've got to administer some puppy slaps of justice to the Deemster.
Angel Zoom Smokey (Vote for Me)
November 22nd 2007 12:27 am
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Wow, it has been one heck of a month or so. I am so sorry that I haven't been keeping you doggies up to date as much as my 'evil' half Demon Flash Bandit has. Truth be told, the last roughly three to five entries weren't even written by me! Demon Flash Bandit was ghost writing for me! I have to hand it to him, he knows me pretty well. I honestly thought he was going to be spreading lies about me...you know, all that Angel loves Demon jazz, but Demon has actually been fairly loyal to my source material. Demon has taken liberties here and there, nothing major though. He left in my classic 'Puppy Slaps of Justice'. I got the idea from the Fster's comic books...it makes slapping seem so noble! So here I am, in the fur (and flesh), with a few semi major announcements!
First and most importantly, I am considering resigning as a Presidential candidate. Demon Flash Bandit seems to have far more support than I do...no doubt due to the fact that I have mistakenly been wooing the puppy crowd such as myself and I now realize that puppies are not old enough to vote. That was a big tactical error on my part. One of my 'advisors' who shall remain nameless (Jeff) told me to go with what I know, and I know puppies! So really, it is all that nameless advisor's fault. Another factor I have to consider is a certain 'smoking gun' Demon Flash Bandit has on me...I mean that quite literally too. I mean, can anyone get a 'smoking gun' nowadays? He also has a video of me dancing with a campaign worker (Jeff) that I don't want getting posted on Dogster or any other site. I have my standards. I am considering running as Demon's VP, but I am not sure what I should do yet, I guess this is just a hard choice I am going to have to make on my own. I'll keep you follow dogs posted!
This was a big day for the Deemster and I heard no end of it. It was Demon's birthday and his journal was the Dogster Journal of the day. He thinks he is sssssoooooo cool, well he's not! He can be a real poopie head at times...that's right, I went there. I hope he enjoys his stupid day with his stupid presents, like I care! I can't wait till my birthday, that will show that glory hog up! Remember my fellow doggies, I am not a dingobat like Demon is...wait, I guess I am, my bad.
Angel Zoom Smokey (Dingobat)
December 10th 2007 1:21 pm
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Here is the entry you've been waiting for--not that silly Demon Flash Bandit's entry, but one from Angel Zoom Smokey. That dog has such an ego! He has been watching all the seasons of West Wing so he will know what to do when he takes office. I overheard him tell Mommy he needed a few million dollars for campaign ads. Then Mommy said he didn't have it. He really had his nose out of joint over not having a bank account which I thought was quite funny until I found out that I don' t have one either. I naturally (like Demon ) assumed I was being paid for all the stuff I do around here. When I discovered that I was also not being paid, it wasn't quite so hilarious anymore.
By the way, I would write more, but between Jeff who is a major computer hog running the e-bay store which I think is just an excuse to look up Star Trek information on the internet, I also have Demon Flash Bandit, major computer hog. By the time he finishes his diary entry and sends off some paw-mail, a girl doesn't have a chance to get on the computer.
I will try to write more often in the future. I'm sure I can think of something that will get Demon off the computer sooner.
Angel Zoom Smokey (The Smart Dog of the Family)
December 19th 2007 12:28 pm
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I was hoping I could write an entry sooner, but you can imagine how hard it is to live in a house with all the computer hogs. I should ask Santa Paws to bring me a computer for Christmas. I'm just not sure if the elves know how to make electionics. I would probably get a wooden computer, and I don't think they make computers out of wood. It would make a nice chew toy though.
I haven't even had a chance to write my letter to Santa Paws so I'll include it in this entry.
Dear Santa Paws,
I have a lengthy list. If you don't have time to make everything before Christmas, feel free to leave cash or gift cards to make your life easier. By the way, if you know what's good for you, don't eat the cookies and candy that Mommy leaves out for you. Demon and I plan to eat them so Mommy won't be offended, but we don't want you eating our candy. Demon was particularly emphatic about that. If you eat his candy and cookies, you might have torn pants, and tooth marks on your butt. I thought I'd warn you. Demon takes his sugar very seriously. We are very good dogs, but you really need to lose a few pounds anyway so we are doing you a favor (at least that is what Demon said).
Here is my list:
1. A computer so I can get on the internet whenever I want (buy the
computer. I'm not putting down your elves, but I don't think electronics
is their specialty.
2. A kennel to put Demon Flash Bandit in when he annoys me.
3. Candy--and I don't have to share with Demon
4. Dingo Bones
5. Squeaky toys
6. Make Jeff shorter. I'm tired of having to jump so high to kiss him whenever he returns after an absence.
7. Food---lots of chicken and roast beef---no dog food
9. Salmon treats
10. My own car and my own driver's license
11. A newer cell phone. I want a pink razor one like Mommy's. Mine doesn't
12. Clothes for Demon Flash Bandit. I love to see him dressed like humans.
13. A starring role in a movie and possible a hit tv show.
14. Capt Jack Sparrow
I guess that will be a good start. I will probably think of a few other things so I'll fax any further items directly to the North Pole. Please send your fax number. Thanks a lot.
Love, Angel Zoom Smokey
December 23rd 2007 9:08 am
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I'M BACK!!!!!! Finally, I got some computer time. I read Demon diary entry, and he explained how he ended up with a hurt paw. I was there, and I didn't see any thugs trying to break his paw, but he says they were fast, and I wasn't looking in his direction. I have my doubts about his story because I think the Deemster likes to embellish his stories, but I won't say it isn't true because I'm sure that some of the possible presidential candidates are worried that Demon Flash Bandit will win the election. He is intelligent and handsome, and I plan to be his vice-president. With a ticket like that, those humans don't stand a chance so I can understand if they start getting desparate. I kept Demon company when his paw was hurt. I felt sorry for him. He can be a very nice dog even if he is a bit egotistical.
I'm so glad Santa Paws sent his fax number. I've continued sending him my Christmas wishes as I think of them. It makes it so convenient for the "Paws" because I can send him lists, and he can buy much of it on-line. I've even sent him the web-sites filled with my shopping cart. I try to make the "Paws" life easier. I'm not so sure the elves are good at hunting for stuff on-line. The internet must be wonderful for Santa Paws.
Mommy has displayed all the Christmas cards, and Demon and I got some from some very good looking dogs. They make the house more festive with their photos. Demon and I have been very excited about our cards.
I've got to end this so I can go watch tv. Have a wonderful Howliday
Angel Zoom Smokey (Santa Paw's Favorite)
January 7th 2008 5:12 am
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I haven't had a chance to write since Christmas, and I will tell you now that I was very disappointed in Santa Paws. Sure, I got toys, treats, and dingo bones, but I didn't get the car, the computer, or the cell phone I asked for. There was a very long list of stuff I asked for and didn't get. Demon reminded me that Santa had to bring toys for all the boys and girls, and I think that is the problem. My solution is that Santa Paws should only bring toys to dogs. It would save him a lot of work and trouble, and it would give him more time to fill my requests. Perhaps he will bring me the rest of the stuff next year when he has a bit more time. I did have kind of a long list. Since he has plenty of time, I might pick out which car I want instead of just asking for a generic car. It had better be made by Ford or GM because I don't want to get any nasty looks from autoworkers here in MI. Besides, Mommy would get rid of anything that isn't made by one of those two companies so I would still need a car. Life gets so complicated when you live with the humans. When is a puppy going to get a break? Maybe I could get one of those little electric cars they sell at Toys R Us. They are kind of cute, and I think my paw could reach the pedal. I'm not sure if I'm big enough to drive a regular human car yet. I am still a puppy. Christmas was nice even if Santa Paws was not up to par this year. I can't understand how he could leave off so many of my wishes. I faxed him 300 pages of toys and things I wanted. If he pulls that again next year, I'm going to stay up and give him some puppy slaps of justice. What a loser!!! I might go to the North Pole and give some puppy slaps to Mrs. Claus and all the elves. The North Pole has a delightful climate so I'd enjoy going there, and the puppy slaps would just be added fun. That jolly old elf had better learn you don't mess with Angel Zoom Smokey.
I didn't make any new year's resolutions, but I gave Demon Flash Bandit a long list of things I thought he needed to improve. The stupid mutt didn't agree with me. He didn't make any resolutions because "he is perfect". Sure, he is perfect--a perfect nuisance. I read his dairy about me following him around and how I'm his black and white shadow. The truth is I'm not following him around. He is in my way, and he never had enough sense to move. He is always where I'm trying to go, and then he has the nerve to say I'm following him. Why would I follow him around? I've got a life. I have better things to do than get into Demon's business. I can tell you from past experience that he is boring, and I have no interest in anything he is doing--unless he has a dingo bone.
Before I go, I want to send a special hello to my boyfriend, Sunny. Sunny thinks I'm pretty and has already asked me to marry him even though he is a puppy. I've got to go, and annoy Demon Flash Bandit. I have loads of fun annoying him. I think I'll go get in his business since I've been accused of it in his dairy entry, I might as well do it. HAHA
Angel Zoom Smokey (Dog With a Life)
January 8th 2008 8:25 pm
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Woof woof woof bark woof bark bark woof woof woof. Ha ha, that one gets me every time. Hello all you fellow dogs out there on the web, this is Angel Zoom Smokey barking at you. Wow, I have had a busy week. My week started off with problems. First, I got my first ever cell phone bill. I was in for quite a shock! It was a bill for $100! I called Verizon and asked them why my bill was so high. The Verizon spokesman I spoke to told me that I went over my minutes, hence the high bill. Can I help it if me and my doggie girlfriends enjoy talking? Plus, I haven't even heard from my boyfriend Samoa SunnyBear Bell yet. Just because I never gave him my number is no excuse! Men...they're all useless.
So...where was I? Oh yeah, my cell phone bill and my struggle to pay it. I didn't have a $100 to throw away (or not to throw away for that matter). I looked through the F's wallet and let's just say, I feel extremely sorry for Jeff. I make more money then that loser! Ha ha ha! Me and the Deemster had a good laugh with that one. I would have looked through mom's wallet, but that is where my Burger King money comes from, and I don't want to have to give up Burger King for a stinking cell phone! (Who could blame me?) So I was in a pickle as the saying goes...which is a really weird saying by the way. Do any of you dogs honestly know anyone who ever got stuck in a pickle? From what I've seen, pickles usually end up in humans, not the other way around. That would be a very silly sight though. If any of you dogs observe a man or woman stuck in a pickle...let me know right away! It is important to me and Demon...(I'm not sure why.)
So, I asked Demon's advise about how I was going to pay this stupid bill. Demon told me that most places except bread. Bread is yummy, so I can totally understand why a place would accept it. That being said, neither one of us was willing to give up our bread. We work hard to earn our food. Do you think anyone can sleep for as long as we do? I think not. Anyway, Demon also said businesses usually accept green stuff as well.
Paying with something green was a great idea! My only problem was that I didn't own anything that was green. That is when I came up with a plan. If Verizon would accept green items, surely they would accept brown items as well. Luckily for me, I knew just the place to 'fish out' some easy money.
As it turns out, this must be the silly humans secret stash because when I went to get some quick cash, mommy started fussing at me. Apparently, nosing through the toilet is a no no under moms roof. I am curious to know where all the money goes. I'm not sure if you doggies know this, but there is a lever on the toilet that lets the humans direct deposit their currency. Jeff was in the bathroom earlier today, I let him know about my cell phone bill before he went in. I'm crossing my paws in hopes that he paid Verizon enough currency to cover my bill.
Well, I'll talk to you dogs later. Remember to vote for me or Demon!
Angel Zoom Smokey
Demon Flash Bandit
Angel Zoom Smokey (Toilet Fisher)
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