The ups and downs of being Miss Rigby

This is Miss Rigby. I have to tell someone this stuff or I will just explode!!!

A few weeks ago, my stupid mother tells me that I have to go to "school". I'm like, "I don't know what that is, but I know I won't like it because I don't like anything that involves other dogs or strangers."

She drags me to that pet store I really hate and I began to bark repeatedly- this is how I show her when I'm displeased with something- she's too stupid to know otherwise.

So, anyways, there's all these stupid dogs there and I had to growl at them and bark at them- they're too stupid to know how I feel about them if I don't do this- I like to be very clear about things that displease me.

But there's this one dog there, right? He's like, really really hot. A longhaired boy who resembles the best looking dog on earth- me- except his long hair makes him look so....sigh...rebellious. He was also barking and growling to show his true feelings, but he didn't bark or growl at me.

So now I see him every week. My evil mother said that I will be very unhappy when school ends because I get so happy when he arrives. I get so happy, in fact (and I'm almost too embarrassed to say) that I end up rolling over and peeing all over the floor! It's too embarrassing, but he's just that cute.

My brother thinks I'm being silly, but I think Max (that's HIS name) feels the same way about me.

Mother says that I don't have a very open mind if the only dogs I like are other DACHSHUNDS. She just needs to understand that I'm all about the low riders. I don't trust dogs that are taller than I am.